PENN STATE CLAIMS LION'S SHARE OF FULMER CUP

Still, it takes half the Penn State team to match the feats of Ellis T. Jones.

A banner Mason/Dixon North day.
Take THAT Illinois.

Just remember- it only took one day to reach this total, it can take only one day to defeat it. PSU thinks this is over- this isn’t over! We’re taking this into overtime! Comenayaaayha!!!!

Hey, at least Penn State is finally beating Michigan.

PSU has given us a wonderful display of teamwork. We should celebrate this.

State Penn is close enough to the WVa border to start lighting couches on fire, right?

I mean, theyr’e both places you’d want to leave immediately if you hear a banjo playing.

Greatest. Video. Ever.

Is there any exculpatory evidence that these players were acting this way because they were turned into zombies after JoePa ate their brains?

I’m sure all players will receive a stern one game punishment by the ghost of JoePa.

I’m just glad Joe Pa wasn’t alive to see this.

Wow. Again, eclipsing Ellis T. Jones in the Fulmer Cup is an impressive step.

I’ll say it again: Last year 15 points was all it took for Marshall to win the Fulmer Cup. This year, that same score will get you third place, and that might not hold up!

The Conference That Can’t Count – The “higher academic standards” don’t lead to fewer stupid arrests, unfortunately. Could it be that the suspects are too slow to run away from the scene of the crime?

i like judas priest and all but this video sucks.

1. - Great quip!

The only think that could have made the story better is if the players had been caught hiding out in a McDonald’s playland with a gun a la Vick…

Is it okay that I’m giggling like a six year old girl and watching “Breaking The Law” for the third time?

Also, TAKE THAT, [NAME REDACTED]!

#11: I agree. Free Wheel Burnin is way cooler.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yq7Bs-eJIY

kleph – ya beat me to it.

Welcome back State Penn… we’ve missed you.

italiangator-
+threeve points for “Comenayaaayha!!!!”

Don;t sell these boys short!

“Anthony Scirrotto: felony burglary (3 points), felony criminal trespassing (3 points), two counts of criminal solicitation, simple assault (2 points) and harassment. (All misdemeanor charges, we think, totalling four points.)”

3+3+2+4 = 12 points for Scirottototottoototto and Baker, upping the ante considerably.

“We are … Incarcerated!”

Has a nice ring to it.

If only Joepa didn’t have that leg injury he could have surely somehow made this better. And had some brains.

FWIW: Wrong link in the story. Try this one: http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2007/04/04-27-07tdc/04-27-07dweb-01.asp

The Collegian also has the complaint and a few other scorching web exclusives.

Never mind the criminal charges, the half game suspension JoePa will give the is gonna STING!

We need a review of the cup points here. King, Hayes, Sargeant and Sales are tagged with 3 misdemeanors each. As I read the charges, they each have 2 misdemeanors and a felony trespass charge. That should move their collective total from 12 to 20. Total cup points should be 42, not 34.

Ummm, the trespassing charges against King, Hayes, Sargeant, and Sales were ALSO felony trespassing, at least according to the Press Release released by the State College poliece department. This would make the total for the players other than Scirrotto and Baker at 20 rather than 12.

Slow clap for the Nitanny Lions. Good show, gentlemen.

Jan, Jan Brady? is that you? you math checker you.

I thoroughly enjoyed the theme music accompanying this post, though my Swingline stapler became an unfortunate victim of some serious on-desk air guitar.

We’ve still got a lot of weekends left that will be full of keg parties, assaults and gunfire before the start of the season. 30 points might be a drop in the buck by then.

Response 9

Would have been funnier if not verbatim from a post on NDNation an hour earlier.

Your team garners Fulmer Cup points for plagiarism.

So, if previous behaviour is indicative of future penalty, that’s 4 guys that will miss no game time, but be slapped on the wrists. And 2 guys that will miss the first half of the Florida International game. . . .

However, they will all play on Sept. 8, 2007.

Wow, that’s brutal. I guess Grandpa Formaldehyde will break another leg in fury over this one.

Classic.

And you wonder what gets into foreign kids at VT looking in at the jocks. Maybe its just jealousy. If only you were a scholarship athlete at the Big State School.

JoePa suspended a linebacker 3 games in 2005 for making prank phone calls. why would he be so lenient with these fellas?

JoePa is rolling over in his grave….

Holy hell, a Kursk reference! Outstanding! I’ll even overlook the fact that you missed the analogy that the German offensive and the bevy of charges both came as no suprise and had been anticipated for weeks. If only the authorities had delayed bringing the charges because they wanted to do so using some sort of new-fangled software that proceeded to break down all the time.

I’m probably the only one laughing at these jokes. Carry on.

It’s true, the King / Hayes / Sales / Sargeant group gets five points each for the felony trespassing (3), harassment (1), and disorderly conduct (1). So that’s 20 points for them. 20 + 11 + 11 = 42.

Points corrected—-it is 42. We missed the felony trespassing.

Holy hell, that is a lot of points.

The Big Televen is finally kicking other conference’s ass at something (just not in basketball or football) and we haven’t had an OSU showing yet. There should be some kind of Southwest Conference Trophy for the most points by a conference.

http://www.bastardly.com/archives/2007/03/10/bastardly-booty-rating-jessica-biel-ass-picture-tribute/

friday cheesecake=biel ass tribute

I’m just throwing this out there, but the Big10/11 may want to look into setting up a secret offseason tribunal to curb this type of bad PR next year…not saying it would curb the behavior…a playa’s got to play, right?

PSU is relevant again. It took you long enough.

There has to be some JoPa v. Blobby Bowden achievement angle to this… c’mon, someone with a non-inebriated wit come through for me.

Still think that Blobby’s attempt to cadge the “most wins” acheivement award falls to JoPa’s win total at a Div. I school… I ain’t givin’ Blobby an inch, much less div II wins. After all, if you could count wins anywhere, wouldn’t Jerry Faust be right up there until he was hoist (up the Dome) on his own petard?

All I know is that the Big Ten is running away with the Conference Cup this year. You would think that conferences would have a hard time keeping up with the law-breaking SEC, especially intellectually superior conferences such as the Big Ten. But right now, the Big Ten is making the SEC look like a conference of school girls and nuns.

If the answer turns out to be 42, then what was the question?

@30:

Nah, I get ’em. But a Prokhorovka reference would = too much.

[redacted] line and sinker, you don’t want tOSU getting involved in the Fulmer Cup, that’ll just ensure the SEC coming out of nowhere to take the title.

#34, now that is indeed a fine contribution… simple, yet extremely well balanced, a very good configuration with a supple smoothness, and finally an excellent finish. Bravo!

Who gets drafted first? Leak or Smith

Its still early. A little activity down in Champaign or Ann Arbor, and they will be right back there. Michigan will never take losing to State Penn. Illinois thought they could win this year, at least off the field.

It does look like the usual run of pettiness that the SEC engages in is becoming passe. What good is the random gun possession/discharging, when you can have a whole team event.

Also, it seems that the police and district attorney office up north don’t take the same “boys will be boys” approach as our friends to the south. If Cory Boyd or ol’ Keg Stealer McGee did that stuff at PSU, they’d be charged for it.

Not making excuses for the Penn State idiots by any means, but while some law enforcement authorites are more than happy to turn a blind eye, the zealots near PSU seem to take a perverse pleasure in prosecuting football players.

Sean you could be onto something on the speed thing. Knowledge Timmons was widely speculated to be possibly the most egregious offender, but he is a track star and thus must’ve outrun punishment.

“If the answer turns out to be 42, then what was the question?”

6 × 9

Penn State: Beating Tennessee in more ways than one.

#39

"If the answer turns out to be 42, then what was the question?"

What is the meaning of life?

I’m stunned no one has found a clever way to incorporate “State Pen(n)” into a quip. Yall really let me down today, but it’s friday so I’ll give you a break.

Also, comment of the day goes to “Holy hell, that is a lot of points.” by OS himself.

For my MNC I give the title to Wisconsin.

Has Florida ever heard of an undefeated season?

The JoePa I grew up with is the kind of coach who wouldn’t kick the kid off the team, because that would be letting the little bastard off easy. That way, there’s the opportunity for lots of lectures in coach’s office, punctuated by stony glares.

1. - EDSBS has managed to do what no one thought possible -

The ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is:

How many Fulmer Cup Points can Penn State score at one party.

Life makes so much sense now. I don’t know how we all missed it before.

The race is over for #1, everyone is playing for second place now.

If only JoePa could still walk, those boys would be in some serious trouble.

Orson, your blog never ceases to amaze me. 42 points! HOLY CRAPENSTEIN!

Another potential adjustment – an AP story is listing the criminal solicitation charges as a felonies – which would bump up Scirrotto’s score by another 4.

How can Joe Paterno expect to discipline his team when he can’t even control his bowel movements?

RE 47

Shouldn’t that be 6 × 8?

I was expecting good things out of this post, having seen on another site that the charges had been filed.

You gents did not disappoint. Good show. I now have an acceptable earworm for the night.

Breakin the law! Breakin the law!

For those of you who would like to read the detailed report, here you go: http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2007/04/04-27-07tdc/pressrelease.pdf

Sorry if already posted and I missed it.

Here’s the problem I have with the fulmer cup. It is far more disturbing for players to be driving around with semi-automatic weapons, brandishing them at will, and discharging them in public, than for a bunch of guys to get into a brawl, old school style. Not that I am defending the players at Penn State, but seriously from a societal standpoint, wouldn’t you rather worry about the occasional bar room brawl than players toting heavy duty weapons and discharging them at random? Or DUI’s, those are far more dangerous in terms of what I would worry about as a citizen minding my own business.

Seriously, 42 points and not a single firearm discharged, no drugs, that we know of, no rape, theft, nothing, just a good old fashion ass whipping. That might be the most overrated ass whipping ever.

I could see if these guys just picked a random house, kicked the door and beat everyone to a pulp, and then robbed and rapped the victims. But this is just an old fashion brawl, just like in the good old days.

In terms of being a menace to society, I worry more about the guy with the loaded 9mm and a bag of dope, than I do about these guys.

by no means am I trying to say these guys are saints or excuse their behavior, but it just seems to be that we should be more alarmed by the player who is carrying around a loaded semi-automatic weapon and is willing to shot it at random in public areas – that’s the guy I’m worried about. Let’s be honest, we can all out run those slow Penn State players, but much like Bo Jackson throwing people out from the left field warning track, you can’t outrun a bullet.

It’s the ones with lint rollers that I really worry about.

i think you need to re-read the accounts of the incident…

Police say the men forced their way into an apartment and attacked several people attending a party, including one individual who tried to break up the altercation and was knocked unconscious after being hit in the head with a beer bottle. While unconscious, police say the man was repeatedly punched in the head.

Bar room brawl? These thugs busted into a private residence and kicked the shit out of 3 people.

Down here in Florida, all 6 of those punks would have been shot, and no charges would have stuck on the shooter, because it is very reasonable to fear for your life when 6 HUGE dudes break into your place.

@#64:
Yeah, that or Florida’s great “Shoot First Ask Questions Later Law.”

Wanna bet they’re all back by the Notre Dame game? Any takers?

tOSU, we live in a world where a school shooting provokes people to say it would be prevented if everyone had had guns. I agree with you in principle, but in Amurica, guns are the only way to freedom. Or, in Mo’s case, a hatchet.

Re: #’s 64 & 65:
“Shoot first, ask questions later.”

That sounds like a place run by a member of the Bush family.

While this crushes our season, at least this site can make me laugh through the tears. “an all time high”

#60, guys driving around with guns and dope are what makes a SEC athlete superior. Your fears are shared by your team, and we exploit that on a yearly basis.

While I usually enjoy it when PSU runs up a high score this is not one of those times. This day is almost dark enough to rattle my faith in PSU’s undeniable superiority to other programs….almost!

GO STATE!

The Chair!!, The Chair!! Dept – Memo to Self and Yourself:

If you are going to committ a crime in Florida, and get THE CHAIR, you might end up burning like a marshmallow.

http://www.angelfire.com/ia/justice/067510.html

Big Ten Network = Court TV

tOSUBuckeyes,

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d have to say one or two guys accidentally firing a gun (as in the TCU case and at last year at florida) is less shocking than twenty guys breaking into your apartment and beating the shit out of you and sending you to the hospital. Maybe I’m just crazy is all.

Just wait. Penn State announced today that 20 more players will be facing punishment for this incident. Looks like it will only be the one point variety, but this will put us so far ahead that no one will touch us…EVER! We might break in to tripple digits before all is said and done. Just you wait.

Wait, is tOSUBuckeyes really Delaney making fucking excuses again!?? Wake up call – you don’t have to make excuses for coming in 2nd again, you’re ahead!

Bravo, #39. Bravo.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go get my towel. There’s Vogons about, and the word is they’re reading poetry again…

1. and #58 – umm, yeah, that would be 6 × 7...

WE

ARE

STATE PENN!!!!

#78, you are devoid of humor. I think #47/58 were mentioning prison cell sizes (in feet), not the actual multiplication of numbers needed to reach a solution of 42. Go back to your sad excuse for existence and never visit this site again

1. “Big Ten Network = Court TV” now that’s funny. The Big Ten is kicking some serious ass (both figuratively and literally).

Wasn’t there a Beavis and Butthead episode where they watched the “Breakin the Law” video?