ODE TO BORIS YELTSIN

by Orson on Apr 23, 2007 11:02 AM EDT

Another great passes from this mortal coil: Boris Yeltsin, dead today at the age of 76.

We present this somber tribute to a man who guided Mother Russia through a time of turmoil and transition, a warrior-poet, a mercurial man of the people, a lover, a fighter...a dancer of life's rhythms, if you will.

Drinking one for you tonight Boris. Or eight. Yes, eight. That's a more appropriate tribute by far.

ADDENDUM: Clinton official Strobe Talbott recalls one of Yeltsin's trashed-ass escapades. Remember that this man had launch codes to a moldering nuclear arsenal that could have incinerated the world in extremely unpredictable fashion:

As Yeltsin emerged from the plane at Andrews Air Force Base and made his way down the mobile stairs, he was gripping the railing and concentrating on each step. His handlers did their best to block the view of the cameras recording his descent. He slipped on the last step and had to grab his wife's arm. That night at Blair House, Yeltsin was roaring drunk, lurching from room to room in his undershorts. At one point, he stumbled downstairs and accosted a Secret Service agent, who managed to persuade him to go back upstairs and return to the care of his own bodyguards. Yeltsin reappeared briefly on the landing, demanding, "Pizza! Pizza!" Finally, his security agents took him firmly by the arms and marched him briskly around in an effort to calm him down.

PIZZA! PIZZA!

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Now that he’s gone, who is going to coach the Golden State Warriors?

by DevilGrad on Apr 23, 2007 11:05 AM EDT reply actions

Boris Yeltsin, the man responsible for Chelsea FC with the corruption and cronyism of his tenure as “President” of Russia…

Bye, Boris. Smirnoff and Karkov will miss you.

by Brewster Crew on Apr 23, 2007 11:15 AM EDT reply actions

Yeltsin had a word for 8 vodkas: aperitif.

I was reading this thinking, yeah, props for getting on the tank and stopping the revanchist Red Army from going back to the future, but not so much on actually managing to lower the material quality of life of the average ex-Soviet, committing war crimes in Chechnya, and – perhaps worst of all – making the rise of Chelsea possible.

But then I hit play on the clip and promptly decorated my cube with a coffee aerosol. From my nose. And yet no-one in the cube farm investigated why I was alternately saying “ow fuckit” and giggling like a 4 year old.

by DC Trojan on Apr 23, 2007 11:18 AM EDT reply actions

2 – great minds think alike, I see.

by DC Trojan on Apr 23, 2007 11:21 AM EDT reply actions

On CNN.com, they say that the Kremlin spokesman who reported it is named ‘Smirnov’- close nuff for me.

by italiangator on Apr 23, 2007 11:28 AM EDT reply actions

http://www.grudge-match.com/History/yeltsin-kennedy.shtml

by HFS on Apr 23, 2007 11:32 AM EDT reply actions

I did not know he loved “Little Caesar’s” pizza pizza, I learned something today. Thank you Orson

by Nick on Apr 23, 2007 11:40 AM EDT reply actions

The man loved his wodka. I think it’s safe to say that many of us, under the pressures he faced at home, the power he wielded, and the availability of booze would all demonstarte similar behavoir. Damn right, too.

by Out of Conference on Apr 23, 2007 11:42 AM EDT reply actions

Dude could Moeller.

by drogue on Apr 23, 2007 12:06 PM EDT reply actions

Dictator of a legendary nation AND wasted all the time? I had that dream last night.

by rob on Apr 23, 2007 12:44 PM EDT reply actions

I have that dream EVERY night

by NDTom on Apr 23, 2007 1:04 PM EDT reply actions

Talk about wierd…I’m writing a paper on Yeltsin and the Russian military as we speak and I find out the old drunk douche bag is dead. WIERD. I wonder how Dennis Erickson will take the news that the only man in the free world who can drink him under the table is gone.

by ToddlyKSU on Apr 23, 2007 1:12 PM EDT reply actions