BIELEMA: CHALLENGING THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL ASSUMPTIONS OF THE 20TH CENTURY

That guy’s got a decent point. Notre Dame does seem to get off easy in terms of the BCS. Wait, who said it?

Wisconsin’s coach?

Fuck him. He doesn’t know his head from his ass. He’s in that state of inbred sheepfuckers.

laffer curve? awesome Orson! Those 400 level Econ courses paying off for you, too huh?
 
… something d…o…o economics, anyone , anyone?

Bielama? Bueller?

Hey, fuck you, cheese-boy! Go find your own theorom to solve with Taniyama–Shimura modular curve conjectures!

Yours,
Prof. Andrew Wiles, Princeton, NJ

To quote ohword.com “We are MOSTLY CONFUSED BY POSTMODERNISM and believe it to be a crock of shit.”

Orson, given your druthers, how many teams end up in the playoff that we are apparently on a slow road to hell towards?

Something has to be done. Between Notre Dame and the Chicago Bears I have a crying girlfriend on my hands far too often.

“Football Russia.” Fucking brilliant!

Russian History: ND Football History: Catherine The Great:???

Yeah, the male bulldog in Big Daddy Drew’s video is certainly how I hope the media feels after the season long lovefest only to see them made into prison bitches in bowl games.

Partial transcript of edsbs interview with Bielema*

Orson: It seems that the Last Theorem was considered impossible, and that mathematicians could not risk wasting getting nowhere. But then in 1996 everything changed. A breakthrough by Steve Spurrier at the University of Florida linked Fermat’s Last Theorem to another unsolved problem, the Taniyama-Shimura-Bowden conjecture. Can you remember how you reacted to this news?

Bielema: It was one evening at the end of the summer of 1996 when I was sipping iced tea at the house of a friend. Casually in the middle of a conversation this friend told me that Steve Spurrier had proved a link between Taniyama-Shimura-Bowden and Fermat’s Last Theorem. I was electrified. I knew that moment that the course of my life was changing because this meant that to prove Fermat’s Last Theorem all I had to do was to prove the Taniyama-Shimura-Bowden conjecture. It meant that my childhood dream was now a respectable thing to work on. I just knew that I could never let that go.

*Actual interview – http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/proof/wiles.html
names changed to protect the innocent

Also, for all Bielema’s bitching about Notre Dame, he seems to conveniently forget that there was no fucking way Wisconsin could have gotten in into the BCS even if they hadn’t played a schedule full of tomato cans. There’s still that pesky 2 team per conference rule that his Big 1? comrades supported to ensure that the money gets spread around to all the major conferences.

The elegant 2 line proof of last year’s bcs:
-force ND to join a conference, likely big10(now 12) (could be BEast also considering bball connection, which would have been interesting)
-have the big10/12/east play a conf. championship game

-Michigan gets its rematch, or Wisc plays OSU
-ND gets at least one more loss (OSU or Wisc) and the 2 bcs teams/conf shuts them out

The bigger question, could ND have finished 3rd in either the BEast or B10?

1) Michigan would have gotten it’s rematch. They beat Wisconsin, and Wisconsin didn’t play OSU.

2) Notre Dame probably would have fell in right behind Wisconsin at 4th in the Big1T1en.

Howevery, that brings me to…
3) Why would anyone want a championship game? Isn’t a Big Ten TV network a good enough cash grab?

It’s all Reggie Ball’s fault. If GT had beaten N.D. like they should have, the destruction in Nola would not have happened. OTOH, what’s better than another GT loss and Irish bowl humiliation? I’m gonna miss you, Reggie!

I think ND would have finished fourth in either the Big East or Big 10(1). WVU, L’ville, Rutgers, OSU, Mich and Wisky were all much better.

To join in nitpicking, Sir Andrew Wiles actually solved Fermat’s Last Theorem a few years ago, though by methods not available to Fermat.

I do think Wisconsin would have given LSU a better game than Notre Dame, but it’s hard to justify sending 3 Big Ten teams to the BCS when 6 of 11 teams in the conference had losing records.

I’ve said all along, conference championships are the biggest joke and a waste of a good weekend of football. It’s an excuse for the SEC not to schedule anyone out of conference. It sometimes is a rematch that no one really wants to see; it’s bearing on the NC is counter productive. How many Big 12 losers have made it to the NCG and how many SEC winners have not made it to the NCG? How does that make sense?

I say everyone drop the “extra” conference championship game and let’s see the power house schools play each other during the regular season. More Ohio State vs. Texas series in the regular season.

Wisconsin got screwed last year. They consistently beat SEC teams and deserve a shot.

1. - That would have to be Lou Holtz. You wonder why he slobbers out the sides of his mouth? It’s been filled like Cathrine.

1. Wisconsin has beat some SEC schools; when do your boys plan to start doing so?

Careful what you wish, I mean endlessly bitch and moan, for. When the playoff Leviathan arrives it will be nasty, brutish and long.

It will provide none of the certainty you want and will only help the sportsertainment whores. Hard to figure out your support.

Hey Orson, I got one word for you re: bowls.

Cheerios.

“Wisconsin got screwed last year. They consistently beat SEC teams and deserve a shot.”

Anecdotal evidence, but the 1998 Outback Bowl was a motherfucking laughingstock

If ND is Russia, could you highlight perhaps who was Ivan Kalita through to Ivan the Terrible? The time of the Troubles… the death of Rockne? Who are the Mongols who swept through Bulgar, Sarkel the Crimea and Kiev? I’m afraid my Irish history is very limited. Then I suppose that Peter the Great would be Ara? Did he build the stadium? Peter is famous for many things but as a lasting legacy was the construction of his new capital> Sorry, the science is beyond me, but I do know a bit too much about Russia from the Riurikid Dynasty all the way through to Putin.

“Something has to be done. Between Notre Dame and the Chicago Bears I have a crying girlfriend on my hands far too often.”

There’s an easy way to fix that, you know? Just slap the bitch and tell her to fetch you another beer!

(Disclaimer: In no way do I condone actual violence towards women. Just sayin’.)

1. - or he can threaten to ‘flip her over’ during an intimate moment, and give her the LSU-Brady Quinn treatment, and give her something to really cry about.

ND brings fans and ratings. Is that really their fault?

I think Wisconsin needs to have a talk with the Big Ten Commish. He is the one who won’t allow a Playoff.

As for ND finish 4th in the Big Ten, won’t argue that point as OSU, UofM and Wisconsin were better teams last year.

I love how relivant ND football is again, love them or hate them, this ain’t the Davie/Willingham era anymore. Nobody had anything bad to say about ND from 1997-2004….why because they were losing.

As for the 0-9 bowl streak, it’s embarrassing my only resolve is that the teams ND played were pretty good. But that is no excuse of being 0-9.

Okhrana, it is possible to kill a metaphor with too much detail. I think it’s more likely to work if you stop with Bielema = Boris Borezovsky, and Weis = Putin, except Weis doesn’t lick children’s stomachs.

If you really wanted to go hog wild, you could suggest that ND football really got going in 1918 with the appointment of Knute Rockne and therein begins the analogy with the February Revolution and VI Lenin. It all falls apart a bit for the Stalin years, but Leahy = Kruschev, Holtz = Brezhnev, Davie & Willingham roughly equivalent to Gorbachev and Yeltsin. Or not.

For all the sensitive Domers, I would like to point out that another critical difference between ND football and the USSR is the conspicuous absence of state-sponsored mass murder in northern Indiana.

Ok, as a realist domer, I LOVE the Football Russia line for its accuracy. I hope it sweeps the irish nation and the University changes its colors, and the team comes out in CCCP jerseys next year.

DC Trojan,

Ever heard fo the Battle of Tippecanoe?

Bielema? Bielema? Um, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Bielema pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

Ever heard fo the Battle of Tippecanoe?

All that brings to mind is “Tippecanoe and Tyler too” as a campaign slogan. I knew I should have paid more attention in US History in high school…

[shuffles off to Wikipedia]

Without wanting to seem flippant, that death toll would be an NKVD’s squad’s morning effort before breaking for a lump of turnip and an internal purge.

Re #26: “Holtz = Brezhnev”

I’m pretty sure both were spitters as public orators, but if forced to choose, I’d tab Brezhnev as the more ethical of the two.

Wooderson: got that one on VHS. The 2007 National Championship game? On Blu-ray, baby.

This coming from the coach with the weakest out of conference schedule I’ve ever seen. Ever. I mean it made SEC teams blush it was so bad. Oh, tell the retard, that their’s no rule that you have to be in a conference.

Is Bielema* talking about special relativity or general relativity?

• Not Bielema.

Alec Baldwin vs Don Imus vs Bret Bielema:

I think Belema beat up on the Domies almost as bad as Baldwin did on his kid and Imus on the Rutgers Women’s b-ball team.

Hey, the 2007 MNC game is fine and dandy with me. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Troy Smith go 1929-style on his draft stock. Giggling ensued

I think Wisconsin needs to have a talk with the Big Ten Commish. He is the one who won’t allow a Playoff.

I’m pretty sure it’s an NCAA rule that you have to have 12 teams to have a playoff game. The Big 11 is holding out for ND. Of course, so is the Big East. They’re like the prettiest girl at the ball – everybody wants them, but they think they’re too good… of course deep down they’re just a dirty whore.

2007 NC game is fine with me too. I’ll gladly say we made it to the championship game and lost than get to brag to my friends that my team is tied with Wake Freaking Forest for top 25 wins in the last 3 years (1). I also look forward to buying a car from the Quinn-Leaf Ford dealership that will be sure to sprout up in about 3 years.

I also look forward to buying a car from the Quinn-Leaf Ford dealership that will be sure to sprout up in about 3 years.

Or you could attend Troy Smith’s self defense against females class.

SKLM-

A treat for your weekend, discovered on my celebrity gossip blog rounds:

http://www.celebslam.com/lunch-with-stacy-keibler

1. Applause.

1. 38 – nice job of waiting until the end to really put the boot in.

If Holtz = Brezhnev then Davie and Willingham = Andropov and Chernenko

#38, Best ND attack line ever. They’re stopping 2 whole conferences from having playoffs!!! +1 to CBG.

You missed the PAC-10 which has about as many games with ND each years as the Big 1? and Big East and could use us for a playoff too.

Oh and we screw up the Commander’s Cup 9 years out of 10 by not scheduling all three academies the same year.

That’s pretty much the ND schedule in going forward: USC+2, Michigan+2, Big East=3, Navy+1, ACC or SEC =1

A fair cross section of 3 different conferences with USC and Michigan is top 25 SOS almost every year. Sneer at the academies. We’ll sneer at the directionals.

I assume WVU will be signing up for some of those 3 Big East games per year with ND? Louisville and Rutger will.

If Holtz = Brezhnev then Davie and Willingham = Andropov and Chernenko

Yeah, but that blows the Weis = Putin gag.

If only O’Leary had come before Davie and Willingham then he could have stood in for both Andropov and Chernenko. Dammit.

Herb (#5) — OTOH, you have a girlfriend who apparently cares about football, which is a pretty hot commodity.

Re: #17 — It’s hard for me to say this of a Buckeye (and I’m not even from Michigan), but he or she is right on all counts. Get rid of conference championship games and add another conference game and/or another good nonconference matchup. I eagerly look forward to the day when the Big Ten goes back to playing everyone else in the conference plus 2 nonconference games. I dare anyone on here to state with a clean conscience that he or she would rather see his or her favorite team beat up on [pick a direction] [pick a state] State / Sister Bernadette’s Home for Orphaned Children instead of a competitive game against whatever conference team otherwise would be left off the schedule. Anyone who does so is a coward.

CouchBurnin’Girl (#38) — Top-notch stuff.

Big Ten Joe

canuck, WVU probably doesn’t want anything to do with Notre Dame. We’re 0-4 against the Irish. Fuck a sure-loss, send me directional Michigan on Sept 1.

TCOAN # 41:

Thanks for the link of Ms. Kiebler’s pictures. She has such a cute face and for a tall woman, I am glad she is not a bony phoney.

If for no other reason but the blessed memory of Harry Stuhlderer, can’t we get along? You hate Michigan, we hate Michigan. We share Barry Alvarez. George Gipp was from the Upper Penisula of Michigan and had to travel through Wisconsin to get to South Bend. Don’t you see how much Wisconsin and ND have in common?

Besides, neither side is going to win this argument. Zero for the last nine in bowl games speaks for itself, but, that said, ND wasn’t any less deserving of their BCS slot last year than Oklahoma or Wake. And any team that finishes third in the conference, that didn’t have the ultimate conference champ on its schedule, and played the weakest rated schedule of any team in any BCS conference ought to be examining its own conscience.

1. - Yeah 98 was a joke, it was also almost 10 years ago and that was an 8-4 wisconsin team georgia beat up on. Back to back wins against top SEC teams the last two years should prove wisky’s worth giving an opportunity.

As for the OOC schedule, we all know the SEC is notorious for a weak OOC schedule. The proof, an undefeated 2004 Auburn team being left out of the NCG and a 1 loss 2006 Florida team needing the upset of the decade to happen to get in. Or have you guys forgotten that had USC not blew the UCLA game SEC fans are not walking around with their man feathers puffed out and beating their chests.

In both cases that SEC championship game really went a long ways to solidify a spot in the NCG. It’s a joke and it does a disservice to college football as a whole. Conference championships are worthless and making the big ten add ND and have a championship game solves absolutely nothing, in fact all it might do is further delude OOC scheduling. Ohio State has scheduled Texas (played already), Miami, Fl., USC, and VT for OOC home and home series over the next 8-9 years.

Now I will give you gators some credit because you do have to play Florida St., but the rest of the SEC is an absolute joke. You place no one out of OCC and then when you do beat someone out of conference in a bowl game played weeks and weeks after the regular season you never let us hear the end of it.

Whatever my rants against ND, it’s not their fault that they keep getting offered huge paydays in January. I won’t bash them for that.

I agree with the Buckeye who wants to get rid of conference championships. Let’s have an eight team playoff with the first round games taking place at the higher seeded team’s stadium; then use the BCS Bowl games as neutral sites.

I’m not known around here for having any love of ND (see Weis jokes). However, I will stand up for Domers on this one. I’m not sure that Wisconsin’s coach should be the one ripping ND this time. I mean, the Big 10 was hardly a devastating monster of a conference this last year. Its best two teams went 12-0 and 11-1 in the regular season and really just did not show very much during the bowl season.

So yes, Wisconsin did only lose one game, but did that really mean that much? I only count Tennessee in the column of quality wins last year.

And by quality win, I mean a win against a prestigious team.

Well, of course, by my own measurement, USC had only a few of those as well, depending on where you ranked Michigan, Arkansas, ND, and Nebraska.

As to the ND aspect of this topic, I think that it’s fair to say that until the rest of the big boys, Ohio State included, raise their academic standards and graduation rates, no one should give ND shit over their place in the BCS or college football.

Now should the rest of us be penalized because ND has some of the highest academic requirements and probably the highest graduation rate in the country? No. But just like the rest of college football, with its MYTHICAL national championships and bogus bowl season that makes the players and fans wait 6-8 weeks to see the best games, it’s all about the money. You know it and I know it.

Back to ND for a second. Imagine if the rest of the power schools in college football lived up to the same academic standards. Not to blow BQ, but he did carry a double major, graduated on time, and scored a 29-something on the wonderlic test. The kid’s talented, smart, and should make a solid QB at the next level. And just how much extra is he worth for carrying the class load of the double major and graduating on time? What did Russell major in at LSU?

Problem is the ceiling on pro athlete salaries are way too high, and everything trickles down from there.

Okay enough ranting on this topic, there’s cheesecake to be had.

First, I thought the official term was the Big 10 (can’t count).

Second, OOC is just a red herring that the media relies on when the media markets and advertising dollars don’t line up with the on-the-field play.

Third, the Buckeyes can start talking trash about the SEC OOC schedule when they actually beat an SEC team in a meaningful game. tOSU is 3-14 all-time vs the SEC, 3-4 at home, and O-fer anywhere else. tOSU=tSEC’sBitch.

Fourth, it’s the 21st century. Orson, put down the parachute pants and join us on myspace.

Fifth, what the hell is a Buckeye doing talking smack on a Florida Blog?

Sixth, what the hell is a Buckeye doing talking on a Florida Blog when not finishing every phrase with, “yes master”?

Seventh, SEC teams have a hard time getting OOC games because certain teams don’t want home-and-homes. Just in the last 2 years, Michigan and ND have both turned down home and homes with AU. We have 2 OOC BCS schools on the schedule this year, but no one will talk about that. We probably play Mid-Central-Ohio-State for homecoming, which will be the focus game for the national media.

Eighth, has anyone really looked at the SEC coaches? Best assemblage of coaching talent in one conference evAr.

Notre Dame should always get the worst BCS matchup. You’d make Irish fans happy by giving them a chance to win. It won’t hurt ratings, because fans will watch the game regardless of who ND’s playing.

And if the mid-major gets an upset (like Boise) it’ll make the ND haters even happier than watching ND lose to a team that they all knew ND had no chance of beating (LSU).

CBG,

You can hate us dirty whores all you want, but we’ll still have the smile on our face when all is said and done. And I guarantee you WVa will be picking up some of those Big Least games, especially since Fredo flew the coop.

and tOSU buckeyes, I had to do a double take when you complimented us. that was out of left field.

Why is everyone knocking the conference championship game?

According to the media, the Big 10 had a 3 way race at the end of the season, USC and Cal had the same in-conference record, and one could have argued that Rutgers or WVU could have beat Louisville for the Big East championship.

All teams schedule weak OOC opponents, it’s not only the big 12 and the SEC.

#38: ND will never join a conference. Ever. Why? bc they’d lose their TV deals and a lot of money that comes with independence? What would they get? nothing. ND joining a conference = boon for that conference and suckhole for ND.

Plus who wants to join a moribund B10? too bad ND’s in IN and not someplace in the south. SEC all the way baby. And someone above was right, SEC does have the best assemblage of Coaches in history. They should drop MS schools, KY and add USC, ND, UM, tOSU. all but about 20-25 other schools could drop to 1AA. These 20-25 schools could be another conference or two.

What is a buckeye doing on a Florida site? Well did you think we would crawl under a rock after losing one game badly to Florida? Did Florida fans go under a rock when Nebraska and Tommy Frazier hung 60 something on them to win the NC back in the 90’s? Yeah, we haven’t beaten an SEC team in a while, but every team has its struggles against someone or another. Look at Bama, 1-5 against ND, 0-7 against Texas, and 1-2 against Michigan. That’s a combined 2-14 against Big Boys, hardly a great representation of SEC football, yet Bama is considered the bell cow of the SEC.

I’ve got 7 National Championship reasons to still be a Buckeye fan and the best winning percentage in the last 80 years. One bad game played 8 weeks after the regular season is not enough to break me.

http://www.google.com/gwt/n?u=http%3A%2F%2Ffootball.stassen.com%2Fcgi-bin%2Frecords%2Fcalc-wp.pl%3Fstart%3D1927%26end%3D2006%26rpct%3D90%26min%3D5%26se%3Don%26by%3DWin%2BPct&hl=en&lr=&safe=off&q=o-zone+forum&source=m&site=search

tOSUBuckeyes – dude, you make me laugh. No really, I’m not being funny, I’m just saying. A Buckeye talking smack about the SEC not playing a tough OCC schedule. I supposed as much as the SEC owns tOSU everytime tOSU plays an SEC team, that if you were in the SEC, you’d be bitching about the SEC’s weak-ass in-conference schedule.