Letsplaytummysticks of Pinfall Marks answers our call for spring practice updates in fine fashion below with a rundown of West Fuckin’ Virginia University and the performance of their football team in the spring game. Shocking news: they’ve added one play! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, BIG EAST!!!
Added a play, which is one more than he’ll need to run for 300 yards on your ass.
Warning, North American Australians: snow is involved in the HUGE pictures following the jump, so be warned as they may cause your weak-tea-thin-blooded ass serious trauma.
Much thanks, Tummysticks. Over to you:
First of all we should start off by mentioning that Steve Slaton did not play, there were only 9 healthy offensive linemen (of which 5 were walk-ons or former walk-ons), two starting linebackers were out, and the potential defensive breakout Quinten Andrews was held out for showing up late. (more…)
Thanks to eagle-eyed tipster Dave, we may now proudly report that the Texas A&M Aggies celebrated their ten win 2006 season this past Saturday by winning their tenth and final game in 2007.
On the Aggie site it’s been fixed, but on the internet shameful petty mistakes live forever. Aggie football: it’s officially FRANTASTIC!!!!
The Big Board arrives, a few days late due to circumstances beyond our control. Corrections and addenda will follow.
Corrections, addenda, errata, nicto!
LSU’s owed a few points. In between the board-building and the posting, LSU broke into the scoring with a two point battery charge for offensive lineman Kyle Anderson, who walloped someone and ended up in jail in East Baton Rouge, which now that we’re typing it sounds like something we never, ever want to happen to us.
BYU is docked a few for dropped charges against Vic So’oto, one of two BYU football players involved in the burglary resulting from a dispute over water balloons. Utah fans may still prepare the water balloons for this year’s game; they may not, however, count So’oto’s two points, taking BYU to four points total in the standings.
Arkansas State’s owed a ten-spot, stat. The Indians pick up ten points for five players charged with third-degree battery (which is really just slapfighting in legal terms) and disorderly conduct for fighting in a roller skating rink parking lot in Jonesboro, Arkansas. As tempted as we are to award a bonus shame point for violating the sanctity of the roll-bounce, we’ll content ourselves with awarding ten points to them and seeing if the charges stick–as piddly as they are, we’re betting they won’t. (HT: The Power T.)
(Bill Withers’ “Lovely Day” combined with images of rollerskating is awesome. That is all.)
South Carolina gets in line behind Penn State for possible impending points thanks to the craze that’s sweeping the Southland this year: waving a gun in the air and discharging it wildly at a club or party! FIESTA!
This being South Carolina, it not only involves a football player, but an important one whose loss to the team due to legal issues would dent their on-field performance: running back Cory Boyd. The relevant details from WLTX, courtesy of Doc and LWS:
Investigators say the incident began when some gang members had a confrontation with USC football players. Deputies say according to witnesses, a man identified as Cory Boyd fired a gun into the air. Investigators say the gang members retaliated, and fired shots at the players. Deputies say people began running away and “total chaos erupted.”
No one was hit by the bullets.
Investigators say they found marijuana residue, tobacco shavings and the odor of burnt marijuana. They say there also was a broken window at the scene.
Cory Boyd’s aftermath sounds a lot like the wake of the NBA All-Star game, minus paralyzed bouncers and concussed strippers. It’s under investigation, but along with the slow-maturing situation at Penn State regarding a burglary/beatdown combo, watch it for further developments.
Edit: Remember that Cory Boyd is, in fact, still back like cooked crack:
Minnesota’s rape case is still wobbly, but pending. We keep hearing the rape case is wobbly, but haven’t gotten anything confirmed yet.
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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