FRIDAY CHEESECAKE: ORANGE AND BLUE GAME-BOUND
We leave bright and squeaky early tomorrow for the Orange and Blue game. Your weekend assignments:
1. Tell us what Houston Nutt’s text messages said. This will be of use to us.
2. Email us if you’re actually going to be in Gainesville and want to meet us in the singular, correct-pronoun-using flesh.
3. Read us over on Kissing Suzy Kolber’s Mock Draft. Our topic: Movie deaths we’d choose as our own. Hudson, you won our hearts at a young age. Game over, man. Game over.
4. Say hello to cheescake, aka Juliana Moreira.
Enjoy your weekend.
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1
Damn you redX!
Comment by Big Jon — April 13, 2007 @ 4:08 pm
2
I’m not seeing any cheesecake… this is very distressing, and not the way to start my weekend
Comment by Duh Duh D — April 13, 2007 @ 4:38 pm
3
I’ll take a stab at it, starting with Nutt’s text to booster Teresa Prewett, just before she begged Mustain to leave…
Dear Teresa,
Could you please get rid of Mitch and his high school coach, without killing him mind you, just go psycho on him. My wife Dianna said she would even help forward the emails. God forbid I develop a real passing game (that’s too much work)
XOXOXOX
Houston
———
Dear Donna,
How’s my hot TV reporter babe? You won’t believe how good I’m getting at texting! I’ve got to open Christmas presents now, I’ll text you 19 minutes before the Cap. One bowl though to show you how much I’m thinking of you.
XOXOXOX
Houston
——-
Dear Chancellor White,
I DID NOT HAVE TEXTUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN!
XOXOXO
Coach Nutt
Comment by Reaganite — April 13, 2007 @ 5:03 pm
4
Nutt’s Texts:
—
Gus, I’m glad you handled the offense this year; wish people would get off your damned back about calling plays, and just let everybody do their jobs.
–
Reggie, do not punch Mickey Mouse in the face. The last thing we need is bad publicity the morning of the Capital One Bowl; I had to talk that screeching bitch Donna Bragg out of reporting about you beating Goofy with a baseball bat.
—
Chancellor White: I’ll tell Reggie Herring to beat you to death with Gus’ playbook, if you don’t contribute to the efforts to repeal the shitty clock rule from this year.
Comment by Will — April 13, 2007 @ 5:16 pm
5
ah there she is
Comment by Duh Duh D — April 13, 2007 @ 5:29 pm
6
I’ll once again re-publish hdn’s text message to the news babe(HOT SLUT) minutes before this year’s bowl game……
HEY HOT SLUT!!!! I’D LOVE TO BE BANGIN YOU RIGHT NOW, BUT I’VE GOTTA GO BE A FATHER FIGURE FOR 3 HOURS……….
KEEP IT WET….. I’LL SEE YOU TONIGHT
God how I love HOT SLUTS!!!!
Comment by BamaHamr — April 13, 2007 @ 7:48 pm
7
Email you?!? You mean you are not going to be sporting your EDSBS shirt around Gainesville like you did last year? But that was how I spotted you outside of Salty Dog! Without that shirt you would never have met hot blog groupie #2 (TCOAN being #1, clearly). I object.
At any rate, I can’t make it this weekend so please be sure to do shots at Balls or Salty Dog at a seemingly inappropriate hour of the morning for me. Thank you.
Comment by GatorAM — April 13, 2007 @ 7:50 pm
8
We’ll have an EDSBS shirt on, of course. And as always, hot blog groupies are welcome.
Comment by Orson Swindle — April 13, 2007 @ 9:23 pm
9
Dear Coach Broyles,
I’m sorry we only had around 3,000 at the Spring Game today.
You’re still my hero,
XOXOXO
Houston
Comment by Reaganite — April 15, 2007 @ 12:10 am
10
Donna - I can’t wait for you to lick my ballz…my family X-mas sucked ass.
Theresa - Make sure you create that fake email account before sending a message to Mitch. I mean BITCH! LOL!
Chancellor - Thanks for that bangin’ letterhead. I owe you a round. Or 24! I love this fuckin’ job, bra.
Comment by BoroHusker — April 15, 2007 @ 4:56 pm