BLOGTOBERFEST: LARRY MUNSON WILL TOTALLY NARRATE YOUR LIFE EDITION

by Orson on Apr 13, 2007 12:19 PM EDT

Blogtoberfest--the best party you won't end up treating with antibiotics...probably.

Love has stepped on both of these people with a hobnailed boot. Larry Munson is the sole property of the Georgia Bulldogs we envy openly and shamelessly, an announcer with just a pinch of Minnesota nose to him who sounds like an ages old tortoise sipping whiskey while broadcasting the game from somewhere deep inside Mammoth Cave. He's a national treasure, he broadcasts Georgia football, and the combination of the two facts is proof that God blesses even the wretchedest on this planet with something good and pure.

Paul brings us the news and audio behind someone paying Munson to do a voiceover for their wedding. Personally, we think given the divine desperation Munson can summon up in his best moments, his narration of a divorce would be even better.

For the uninitiated, here's a compilation of Munson's finest lunacy. Even with all that blasted, scabrous red all over the screen, it's still run-flat awesome. OH MY GOD A TOUCHDOWN MY GOD A TOUCHDOWN--even the teetotalingest finger-wagging Baptist forgave him for that, which you may see around the 2:07 mark.

NCAA officially files their mea culpa. Rule 3-2-5-e, which suffered a severe aneurysm in March, gets the official DNR order signed and approved by the NCAA. Spit on the ground twice in its memory.

Way more effective than that old 'G' Formation. It's the offseason--help yourself to a little football history as Corn Nation examines the history of the wacky 'T' Formation. Not explained in the article: why the hell the Seahawks have it in Madden.

SMQ is Jacob wrestling the angel, and you're not even watching. Sunday Morning Quarterback is rolling through every team in the land again and you're not even paying attention. You owe him makeup sex, a nice bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, and at least two romantic comedies for your negligence. And no, The 13th Warrior is not a romantic comedy, even if we told you it was. (Because nothing gets us in the mood like Viking Death,, but we're not normal.)

Best. Shirts. Ever. Take sporting debate on the road with you with Dan Shanoff's stellar array of Gator/Duke debate shirts. Or, if you're less inclined to debate, you could just wear one of ours (click to go to the shop and buy, say, thirty of them for your friends:)

Tang still double-entendre funny! Gravity pulls down! And Nick Saban? Still a raving asshole to everyone and anyone around him. He'd try to talk to you a bit about this, but he hasn't got time for this shit, even if he made time later to make time for this shit.

An anonymous tipster who did get a peek in Saban's practices though says the coach is livid with the front seven's lack of...well, just general lackness. But how could that be? You hired a coach who is the son of a great coach? Greatness is genetic! Look at Freddie Prinze Jr. if you don't believe us, or Robin Thicke.

Again, repetition is the key to communication again. Pete Carroll: again, not going anywhere. Ever. For any reason. Except he's got to stop by Whole Foods for some Newman-O's, because they're the best organic cookies everywhere. If you need him, he's taking the golden unicycle.

Fuck your couch, Ed Orgeron. Via the Wiz, the best walkoff decision we've ever seen comes from Cliff Davis, now former backup qb at Ole Miss:

"I gave it up since they didn't put me in the damn game," Davis said Monday in a telephone interview. "Fed up. Football's not paying my damn bills, so it's time to get my education, join the working world."

Davis left the game early in the fourth quarter, walked into the locker room, and then walked out of football for good. Coach Ed Orgeron was so shocked he didn't even burn his house down in retaliation for his disloyalty.

Nigella Lawson: We'd still ride it like the MARTA. Cheesecake is coming, but we'd like to reiterate that Nigella may still use us for medical experiments any day of the week.

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Comments

Only after she’s done with me. Mmmmm . . . Nigella bites.

by DevilGrad on Apr 13, 2007 12:27 PM EDT reply actions

Naval academy QB rape charge & pending FC entry?

by drogue on Apr 13, 2007 12:38 PM EDT reply actions

Munson is awesome, but what’s even more awesome is that all Georgia’s best highlights are grainy artifacts from two decades ago. The final image is positively Zapruderian.

by ESMjr. on Apr 13, 2007 1:04 PM EDT reply actions

I would love to have Keith Jackson narrarate my wedding.

“Whoa NELLY, that young man looks dapper in his wedding tux!”

by RaginCajunRebel on Apr 13, 2007 1:13 PM EDT reply actions

Um, didn’t Georgia win an SEC title two years ago? Which is more than what, well, everyone in the SEC other than Florida can say.

by doubtingthomas on Apr 13, 2007 1:14 PM EDT reply actions

They shoulda never gave that Orgeron moneyyyyyyyy!!!!!

Actually, walking out like that is the only known way to avoid the basilisk gaze. No one leaves the team, they’re just turned to stone and stand around. Hell, Faulkner didn’t die, he tried to leave once, now he’s a statue. Go check it out the next time you might be in Oxford, watching your team beat the Rebels. It’s over there in between the English building and the Nathan Bedford Forrest Center for Multicultural and Diversity Studies/Confederate Flag Museum.

by LSUJoshua on Apr 13, 2007 1:14 PM EDT reply actions

I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but the shirt reads “All Your Trophies ARE Belong to Us.” Perhaps it’s an inside joke I’m not aware of, but is “ARE” supposed to be in there?

by tOSUBuckeyes on Apr 13, 2007 1:16 PM EDT reply actions

edit previous post to add:

Of course, that’s assuming that my girlfriend or future Mrs. RCR would ever actually be drunk enough to agree to such a union, or that I would actually be able to handle such a step. As my father told me last week, “Well, I’m not worried about paying for your wedding, son…by the time that happens we can have a cheap reception at whatever old folks home y’all stuck me and your mother in.”

by RaginCajunRebel on Apr 13, 2007 1:16 PM EDT reply actions

Nigella = tasty English muffin.

by Signal to Noise on Apr 13, 2007 1:18 PM EDT reply actions

LSUJoshua—let’s not pretend that LSU is a beacon for cultural tolerance, buddy.

tOSU—the shirt reads correctly. It’s in reference to previous statements of Florida’s finest, as illustrated here:

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=2931

by RaginCajunRebel on Apr 13, 2007 1:21 PM EDT reply actions

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_your_base_are_belong

by The Conscience of a Nation on Apr 13, 2007 1:22 PM EDT reply actions

“Somebody set up us the bomb!”

-Bobby Bowden, 11/11/2006

by The Conscience of a Nation on Apr 13, 2007 1:26 PM EDT reply actions

“You have no chance to survive. Make your time.”
- Vince Young, 01/04/2006

by Texas Gal on Apr 13, 2007 1:35 PM EDT reply actions

“What happen?”
- Troy Smith, 01/09/2007, early AM

by tOSU_radar on Apr 13, 2007 2:26 PM EDT reply actions

- Vince Young, 01/04/2006

“Throw up in my mouth I just did.”

- DC Trojan, 04/13/07

by DC Trojan on Apr 13, 2007 2:54 PM EDT reply actions

DC – Keep Yoda away from the keyboard.

by tOSU_radar on Apr 13, 2007 3:05 PM EDT reply actions

well I guess I was wrong. But to be fair, Jarvis Moss-speak is very similar to poorly translated Japanese video games.

by RaginCajunRebel on Apr 13, 2007 3:09 PM EDT reply actions

Keith Jackson calling a wedding was a commercial from a few years back. A Burger King ad, maybe?

Larry Munson is good, but he pales to the glory that was Bob Ufer. Now that guy was a homer’s homer; you figured he was going to stroke out in the booth if Bo could ever win that last game of the season. He’d honk on the horn from George Patton’s jeep — as in ‘Bo “George Patton” Schembechler’, somehow the Patton family found out and sent the horn to Ufer — scream like a maniac, and basically made me understand that a college football game was the best damn place on earth to be, even if your team lost.

I can’t type anymore, because I’m flashing back… God, Ufer was fun. “Canham’s Carpet”, “The House That Yost Built”, he was a genius of broadcasting, the tequila shot to Ernie Harwell’s cold beer in the shade.

by PJ from NU in SF on Apr 13, 2007 3:29 PM EDT reply actions

Indeed, Ufer was a god. However, Orson, for you to put up Munson’s call of arguably UF’s worst moment ever, the Lindsay Scott touchdown in 1980, shows class and dignoty, I salute you as I wait for my LUSH shipment to arrive.

by sjs1959 on Apr 13, 2007 3:39 PM EDT reply actions

Yup, she’s the English cook with the enormous rack, I thought so. Makes Rachael Ray look like a troll, which in my opinion she already sorta resembles.

I think Keith Jackson, et al. calling the events surrounding someone losing their virginity would be far FAR superior.

by Brian on Apr 13, 2007 3:41 PM EDT reply actions

My personal Favorite Munson Quote:

“[Georgia ] Tech is just marching this thing down the field like we were Wake Forest or Maryland or somebody.”

by Brian on Apr 13, 2007 3:42 PM EDT reply actions

Keep Yoda away from the keyboard

Sorry, it was the rapid transition from looking at Nigella working away on an… ice cream cone (happy place) to thinking about the 2006 MNC game (not happy place) that impaired my judgment.

by DC Trojan on Apr 13, 2007 3:59 PM EDT reply actions

Larry Munson, it must be said, started off at Vandy before going to Georgia…which is just another convenient dagger for the Dores.

However, if he would like to do play-by-play announcing whilst I take my leisure with Ms. Lawson, all will be forgiven.

Note: she must actually be present this time.

by VandyJ on Apr 13, 2007 4:10 PM EDT reply actions

If ever there were a distraction, Nigella fellating an ice cream cone be thy name.

by tOSU_radar on Apr 13, 2007 4:16 PM EDT reply actions

I think you messed up the scores on the t-shirt. For the basketball score you put the 2006 score against UCLA instead of the 84-75 score of the 07 fame against OSU.

by 6 degrees of Bowden on Apr 13, 2007 4:42 PM EDT reply actions

Discussing college football announcers without reference to Jim Fyfe? For shame…

by Katy on Apr 13, 2007 4:42 PM EDT reply actions

You don’t suppose there’s any chance Nigella is making a cameo in the ATHF movie tonight, is there? I mean, there’s only so much nirvana I can take.

by PeterPumpkinhead on Apr 13, 2007 5:01 PM EDT reply actions

VandyJ’s comment reminded me of a conversation I had with a good friend of mine between quarters during the ’03 Sugar Bowl — he was talking about how awesome it would be to have Larry Munson follow you around and narrate every single second of your life, particularly the, uh, intimate parts (“She just sat on his face! With a hobnail boot!”, “A blowjob! Oh, God, a blowjob!”, etc. and some stuff probably even worse than that).

Munson is the one announcer in America who can make someone question whether they want to actually go to the game or just sit in the car and listen to it on the radio. The day he retires I will probably start wandering aimlessly around the world for years in an effort to find some sort of meaning in life.

by Doug on Apr 13, 2007 5:04 PM EDT reply actions

Doug you got me. That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. Oh God!

by beast in 'bama on Apr 13, 2007 5:44 PM EDT reply actions

Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban Nick Saban

by NewAZTiger on Apr 13, 2007 7:45 PM EDT reply actions

1982. The last time UGA beat AU and UF in the same season.

Just wow.

by NewAZTiger on Apr 13, 2007 9:22 PM EDT reply actions

The best of Munson is actually his “insight on sports” segment on local Athens radio. It is a little taste of the postmodern on the early morning drive to work. There is so much meaning in that aimless chaotic narrative.

He was a pirate before Mike Leach even saw the ocean.

by Meg on Apr 13, 2007 11:23 PM EDT reply actions

As a follow-up to comment #21:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=O5CLeU2mFsk

by asim on Apr 14, 2007 4:13 AM EDT reply actions

Tribute to Munson seems to draw out some unprovoked digs at the Dawgs… Defensively and with much over-reaction: #3 If you’re using YouTube video quality as a marker of time, it would follow that no one has played sports whatsoever in about 20 years. Half of those clips were from the past 6 years while we were busy winning over 60 games. As for you, #31, unless your handle has the word Gator in it, it’s not right to take credit for that accomplishment. That’s like saying, “UGA hasn’t beaten Florida and worn red in the same year since 1982.” Wow. : )

by Chuck on Apr 14, 2007 4:58 PM EDT reply actions

Munson will never retire. He’ll probably croak in the booth on a goal-line stand or some improbable, game saving type play. Maybe he’ll spontaneously combust. I just can’t see Larry ever just walking away from it. These days, when the weather is hot and we’re playing Louisiana-Monroe, Larry sounds every bit of 84 years old. But when the game means something and it’s down to crunch time, he’s still the best.

Doug (#28) , you’re absolutely right. I would burn a tank of gas just nervously driving around Athens listening to Larry if I couldn’t be there. But I was there.

by DirkDawggler on Apr 15, 2007 12:14 PM EDT reply actions