FULMER CUP UPDATE: ROCKETING TO GREATNESS

by Orson on Apr 12, 2007 2:56 PM EDT

If and when you decide to really, really end that pesky feud you've been having with a teammate, be sure to follow these simple rules.

1. Always bring enough ammo and guns.
2. Use the element of surprise.
3. Make sure you know exactly where you're going before, during, and after.

Score two out of three for Toledo's Richard Davis, who showed up to really, totally, and completely end a running dispute with a teammate at 4:30 a.m. last Thursday. He had the element of surprise by showing up early--check. Adequate firepower? Check--Davis not only had a handgun in his car, but had a shotgun he'd leaned against the side of the house for...well, in case he had to really make his point.

Showing up at the right place? Hmm...UNcheck. (HT: DevilGrad.)

The incident started around 4:30am on Thursday. Police say Deputy Vincent Scott was awakened by the sound of his doorbell ringing repeatedly, and the sound of somebody turning the doorknob. Scott armed himself with his service weapon, and went out the back door and confronted Davis.

He kept Davis at gunpoint, and called 911.

Wrong door, sir.

That's a football player showing up at the wrong door, which just happened to belong to a very sleepy and armed sheriff's deputy. For stumbling facefirst into divine justice, Davis was arrested and charged with attempted aggravated burglary, a three point offense we'll give a "divinely dumb" bonus of a point on for a total of 4 points.

Dibs on him for the Wonderlic draft! We called it first!

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Aw, shit. There goes my Wonderlic fantasy team.

by DevilGrad on Apr 12, 2007 3:07 PM EDT reply actions

Wow.

by Run Up The Score on Apr 12, 2007 3:23 PM EDT reply actions

That is Outstanding. And a well deserved bonus point for being glactically stupid.

by drogue on Apr 12, 2007 3:43 PM EDT reply actions

has this been posted yet?

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2834649

LSU trying to get on the Fulmer Cup scoreboard.

by Seven Years in Gainesville on Apr 12, 2007 3:45 PM EDT reply actions

He’s still awaiting the arrival of the lawyers and the money.

This could be an entire episode of Reno 911.

by beast in 'bama on Apr 12, 2007 3:46 PM EDT reply actions

oh. wow. i thought that looked familiar. it was on the site like 2 days ago. i suck.

by Seven Years in Gainesville on Apr 12, 2007 3:52 PM EDT reply actions

#5-I think you mean Lawyas. And at least he made it out of the car. MoC couldn’t even do that.

by RedDevilEA on Apr 12, 2007 3:59 PM EDT reply actions

He doesn’t get points for the guns too?

by Walrus on Apr 12, 2007 4:06 PM EDT reply actions

Toledo’s really making a Fulmer Cup surge here. First, point shaving, now this. I think you definitely have to put them in as a darkhorse contender after this.

Also, what the heck is going with Toledo’s coaches? They’ve got point-shavers, murderous idiots who can’t get the job done…… I mean, normally you put goons on your team because they can play. But these idiots can’t get anything done on or off the field.

by Jeff from LA on Apr 12, 2007 4:12 PM EDT reply actions

Mason/Dixon North putting some distance on the rest of the pack.

by drogue on Apr 12, 2007 4:14 PM EDT reply actions

This story had nearly all the makings of a classic Darwin Award nominee…

by Geaux Irish on Apr 12, 2007 4:16 PM EDT reply actions

— Hey, we won the last war, too.

by Run Up The Score on Apr 12, 2007 4:33 PM EDT reply actions

The guns as far as we know are legal and clear.

by Orson Swindle on Apr 12, 2007 4:34 PM EDT reply actions

Mason/Dixon North putting some distance on the rest of the pack.
That’s hitting below the belt. You can’t count Toledo as the North.

by Kakistocrat on Apr 12, 2007 5:41 PM EDT reply actions

I think you have to count Toledo as north of the Mason-Dixon line, but I know many Ohioans who think that my home state actually lost the Toledo War.

by DevilGrad on Apr 12, 2007 6:47 PM EDT reply actions

As a 2006 Toledo Grad, I smile.

A Rocket on paper only.

Go Blue

by Big Fella on Apr 13, 2007 1:31 AM EDT reply actions

Is “kickin’ in doors” the new spring sport? Rumor has it that some Jo Pa amateurs up in Happy Valley are sportin’. Points anyone?

by MassDad on Apr 13, 2007 8:46 AM EDT reply actions

As a Toledo grad (‘02) I’m glad to see my school getting some press, unfortunately it’s for point shaving and failed ambushes. Hopefully when they beat Purdue in the season opener we can all forget about this. Oh hell, I just hope we can win something, even if it is the Fulmer Cup.

by David B on Apr 13, 2007 10:34 AM EDT reply actions

Hey

On our local college football board, we’re hearing rumors of some possible infractions at PSU.

“From what PSU people here in PA are telling me. Scirotto was walking with his girl when some drunk guy called her a skank. Scirotto told them to shut the f—- up and they all approached him. He left after a little scuffle and went to football dorm. Told his teammates what happened and they said let’s get ‘em. I forget all the names but I know Connor, King, 2 d-line guys and 5 others went to the place. Scirotto kicked in the door (supposedly why he’s out for year) and him, Connor and King led the others in beating the occupants ass and destroying some property.”

Supposedly an anonymous message was left with the victims telling them they better not go to the police/report this incident . . . .

Although, this seems like the kind of experience that JoePa keeps under the rug and no punishments are handed out for.

Just an FYI as I didn’t see any write up on it yet.

by atepesm on Apr 13, 2007 1:50 PM EDT reply actions