If and when you decide to really, really end that pesky feud you’ve been having with a teammate, be sure to follow these simple rules.

1. Always bring enough ammo and guns.
2. Use the element of surprise.
3. Make sure you know exactly where you’re going before, during, and after.

Score two out of three for Toledo’s Richard Davis, who showed up to really, totally, and completely end a running dispute with a teammate at 4:30 a.m. last Thursday. He had the element of surprise by showing up early–check. Adequate firepower? Check–Davis not only had a handgun in his car, but had a shotgun he’d leaned against the side of the house for…well, in case he had to really make his point.

Showing up at the right place? Hmm…UNcheck. (HT: DevilGrad.)

The incident started around 4:30am on Thursday. Police say Deputy Vincent Scott was awakened by the sound of his doorbell ringing repeatedly, and the sound of somebody turning the doorknob. Scott armed himself with his service weapon, and went out the back door and confronted Davis.

He kept Davis at gunpoint, and called 911.


Wrong door, sir.

That’s a football player showing up at the wrong door, which just happened to belong to a very sleepy and armed sheriff’s deputy. For stumbling facefirst into divine justice, Davis was arrested and charged with attempted aggravated burglary, a three point offense we’ll give a “divinely dumb” bonus of a point on for a total of 4 points.

Dibs on him for the Wonderlic draft! We called it first!