CHRONICAS DE BOSS HAWG: YEAH, IT'S ALL OVER THE PLACE.

by Orson on Apr 12, 2007 1:41 PM EDT

Sure, it's up on Deadspin and everywhere else--but does it have this piece of amateurish photoshop preceding it? Claro que no!

This time, the matron of the Hawg ranch makes her own dramatic entry into this episode of the Chronicas. (On a white horse? Or gliding into the room imperiously in a hoop skirt? Or on a horse wearing a hoop skirt? Something like that.) She allegedly penned this letter! Which is full of AMAZING things and excessive? punctuation! and CAPITALIZATION.

A particularly interesting excerpt:

The "haters" North of us have their armies busy 24-7, attacking us and constantly blindsiding us every chance they can.

Diana Nutt is now using the word "haters" in a casual sense, meaning that rappers such as Young Jeezy and Dem Franchise Boyz can now march under the same linguistic banner as the wife of an SEC football coach. It's clear to us now that the lexicon of common American English is being created in a tag team effort between a crack dealer on a Memphis street corner and a management consultant in Connecticut.

Read! the whole THING here.

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Comments

It sounds like Diana’s been getting her Gloria Gaynor on lately.

by The Hog Blogger on Apr 12, 2007 1:50 PM EDT reply actions

That photoshop cracks me up every time I see it.

Brilliant!

by PigKahuna on Apr 12, 2007 1:54 PM EDT reply actions

Gotta love the obligatory slam of message board posters as people with no lives. I think that is de rigueur for any athlete or coach (or coach’s wife) these days when responding to criticism.

by PeteJayhawk on Apr 12, 2007 1:55 PM EDT reply actions

Uh, Diana, “The U of A?” I believe there is only one The U of A, and it is not in a state that should be, but is not, pronounced like “Kansas” with an “Ar” in front of it. Ar? Arrrrrr…Mike Leach must have something to do with these rumors you speak of…

by Cardiac Kids on Apr 12, 2007 2:05 PM EDT reply actions

Daughter Nutt, pending age, could use a Nutt job.

by Rashaan Salaam on Apr 12, 2007 2:20 PM EDT reply actions

You stay classy, Diana Nutt.

If this were an American soap would it be “As the Hog Turns (On a BBQ Spit)” or “Fayetteville, 72701”?

by GamecockTony on Apr 12, 2007 2:20 PM EDT reply actions

Hotmail is in the sewer again, so I couldn’t email this.

Strike up the band, LSU scores in the FC!!!

http://www.2theadvocate.com/sports/lsu/featured/6983612.html

by Murphy on Apr 12, 2007 2:27 PM EDT reply actions

Not another coaching saga at my beloved U of A involving unfaithful coaches and boosters on crank !

Oh wait, it’s not us this time. Sorry, habits are hard to break.

by BamaCPA on Apr 12, 2007 2:28 PM EDT reply actions

First time I’ve ever seen a wife defend her husbands mistress. Sure there just friends. Friends text message each other 50 times a night, and make calls to each other at a hotel as soon as the wife is out of town. Really! It happens! Right??? Perfectly innocent.

by Virg on Apr 12, 2007 2:37 PM EDT reply actions

Glad to see PigKahuna is around to join me and Will as the last remaining sane Arkansas fans on the eBays.

by Jerkwheat on Apr 12, 2007 2:48 PM EDT reply actions

I’m afraid the fat lady may be warming up…… Once the wife comes out in defense of her husband’s cheating i.e.inserting his penis in another woman’s vagina, ass, mouth(hopefully in that order cause I love hot, dirty sluts) then I believe we are living in the “end days” of hdn’s tenure.

I especially like the the fact that hdn texted the slut 18 minutes before the bowl game

hdn’s reply: HEY HOT SLUT, I’D LOVE TO BE BANGIN YOU RIGHT NOW… SORRY, GOTTA GO BE A FATHER FIGURE FOR 3 HRS. KEEP IT WET, I’LL SEE YOU TONIGHT!!!

1 more thing… there is only 1 U of A, just like there’s only one USC.

by BamaHamr on Apr 12, 2007 2:59 PM EDT reply actions

BamaHamr…that gave me one of the better laughs I’ve had in a long time.

I watched The Ice Harvest last night…and I thought of the Arkansas football program.

by spartymike on Apr 12, 2007 3:14 PM EDT reply actions

I so look forward to Las Cronicas. In the next episode….

[to the mustachioed Boss Hawg]

Orson: How much for the little girl? How much for the women?

Boss Hawg: What?

Orson: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughter… sell them to me!

by Las Cronicas-phile on Apr 12, 2007 3:40 PM EDT reply actions

And I thought “crazier than a sack of rabid weasels” only applied to Houston. Oh well, the daughter, pending age, is tasty.

by socalirish on Apr 12, 2007 3:51 PM EDT reply actions

Semi-Thread-Jack Warning:

For those who haven’t seen the recap on today’s SEC Coaches’ Press Conference Call… here’s a gem from Stevie Orr -

On having four coaches in the SEC who have won National Championships

"I’ve always said that I don’t know what the strongest conference in the country is, but I do know the one that has the biggest stadiums and the most fans. In the south you talk football year ‘round. I don’t know if that helps, but you’ve got several schools in this league that are really serious about football. The interest is there, but until we have a play-off, we won’t know."

by PeterPumpkinhead on Apr 12, 2007 3:56 PM EDT reply actions

So, odds on Lou Holtz returning to Arkansas? Anyone?

by Newspaper Hack on Apr 12, 2007 4:07 PM EDT reply actions

Who are those “haters North of us?” Those glorified carnies in Branson, MO? Small hands, smell like cabbage.

by FrozenWarEagle on Apr 12, 2007 4:12 PM EDT reply actions

Actually Bamahamr – I really haven’t associated the word “University” with “Alabama” in quite some time, so I can see giving Mrs. Nutt a leeway with that phrase is in order.

by Out of Conference on Apr 12, 2007 4:39 PM EDT reply actions