Always cool-down after a long, hectic day of posting. We recommend a light dose of mustache quizzing at Entertainment Weekly. We got nine out of ten, for which we feel deep shame.
Equal shame on us for never using an obvious mustache great: Clark Gable. He just looks like manness, doesn’t he?
A fine and unheralded ’stache until now on this site: Clark Gable.
Nous accusons, putain!
Colin Cowherd, an ESPN radio host, blew up The Big Lead this morning. Intentionally. As good a transcript as we can make typing as we listen follows:
“You and I are straining the system, that what I heard…We occasionally, once a week…we’ll mention a website, our listeners will flee to it, and we’ll shut it down. We feel bad about this, we don’t mean to do it. It usually forces that young guy or young gal to buy more bandwidth and can be expensive. I don’t know that…but wouldn’t it be great if every day we gave out a new, young website and blew it up? If I told my audience every day–just one that’s annoying–and we could give it to them, and our audience would blow it up?
I want everyone to go to it as fast as you possibly can. When I say go, go….it’s three words. THE BIG LEAD dot com. THE. BIG. LEAD. DOT. COM. Go now.”
You know, of course, this means war.
Listen to the audio here if you’re an INsider under the tab “Breaking the Web.” There’s little doubt he did it intentionally, though why he directed his readers to do it is a better question. We’d go to The Big Lead to comb the stacks for anti-Cowherdism, but the site’s still down.
Your ideas below, please. We need the only kind of ammunition the blogosphere has: shame, mockery, and guile, people. Piles of it.
Scratch one offensive lineman in Gainesville: Ronnie Wilson, offensive lineman, attempts to bring a third championship to the University of Florida by earning plentiful points in the Fulmer Cup. From the Gainesville Sun:
University of Florida offensive lineman Ronnie Matthew Wilson was arrested early Thursday on charges of aggravated assault, simple battery and use or display of a concealed weapon during the commission of a felony, a Gainesville Police arrest report stated.
Police accused Wilson, 19, of shooting a semi-automatic rifle after a dispute with another man, according to the report.
Wilson later told police he took the rifle out of his trunk and fired one shot into the air because he wanted the other man “to know how it felt to be scared,†the report stated.
Mission accomplished, sir! Wilson probably eats pancakes with jam, honey, and syrup just to get the job done, since being a screaming, Stonehenge-sized football player in a traffic altercation evidently wasn’t enough for him in the fear evocation department.
Smile, dumbass.
For his display of proper Baghdad crowd control technique, Wilson earns (shakes head, sighs) NINE GODDAMN POINTS for our own Florida Gators. The breakdown:
Aggravated assault: 3 points.
Simple battery: 1 points. Akin to FnDC.
Use or display of a concealed weapon during the commission of a felony. Another 3 pointer here.
Gator bonus: 1 point. Not because we want to win, but because the last team we want in this thing is our own. Points for shame.
Mongoloid Bonus: 1 point. Honestly, the stupidest Gator crime we can remember. Ever. Period. Dumber than Taurean Charles trying to mash a guy’s head in with a beer keg. That was homicidal rage, which we can understand. This? Overkill in the hands of bonified paste-eating moron.
Perhaps Miami’s not the only team that needs a firearms policy?
Penn State may have abundant points on the horizon in the Fulmer Cup yet due to the massive burglary/stompfest under investigation in State College. Until the total charges roll out, though, Nittany Lion fans must content themselves to a single point awarded to Spencer Ridenhour for plowing into a pedestrian on campus.
Ridenhour turned left into a pedestrian, knocking her (a lady! you brute!) to the ground and causing “abrasions to both elbows and pain in her left wrist.” Ridenhour was issued a citation for failing to yield to a pedestrian as a result, earning Penn State one measly point for hitting a woman with a car, which is quite a deal considering the whole story centers on a woman getting hit with a car.
Hit someone with car=one Fulmer Cup point. Whatta deal!
Ridenhour, according to tipster ImMikeFazz, should be referred to as “Ridenbench” given this incident and his benching at the Outback Bowl this year for “undisclosed reasons.”
Excitable coach Dan Hawkins and his son Cody visited the University of Florida and Urban Meyer to, in Coach Hawk’s words “…to just get out and compare notes and see how other people do things.” We have a short snippet of the exchange between two of the most dynamic young coaches in college football today.
Hawkins: Man, it’s just awesome of you to have us here today Coach Meyer.
Meyer: Our pleasure, Dan. We run an open shop here. (more…)
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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