Bob Stoops crossed over to the bitch half of the bitch-goddess side of coaching success sometime around 2002: two losses in national title games, middling years shuffling coordinators on both sides of the ball thereafter, and having alleged wunderkind Rhett Bomar bomb out of the program by taking an oddly lucrative job with a local car dealership. The kind of job where you get paid even if you don’t show up. The kind the NCAA doesn’t like.


Bomargate…not dead just yet.

Stoops put that behind him and guided Oklahoma to what in normal terms would be a very successful season:11-3 despite switching qbs at the last second and enduring a Kobayashi Maru replay scenario in a road defeat at Oregon. (Oh, and they played Goliath to Under Armour/Boise State. Forgot that little nut kick.) Demonz b gon, no?

Little flashback demon arrived via MSNBC, actually. Ex-Sooner lineman J.D. Quinn, kicked off the team with Bomar for similar cash-related issues, speaks loudly and clumsily here:

“All I did was take cash,” Quinn said. “I didn’t break any laws and I get kicked off the team, but there’s people on the team that are breaking laws and failing drug tests and stuff like that, and there’s nobody getting kicked off the team for that type of stuff.”

Quinn declined to provide details of his allegations about other players, but said it was not necessarily about players on the OU team.

…even if that’s exactly what he said just five seconds prior to saying it wasn’t about players on the OU team. Everywhere’s got their own disciplinary foibles and second/third/forty-fifth chances (Kenneth Tookes, anyone? DUCK!), but dropping this squarely in the middle of dead season can’t be fun for a coach clearly wanting to regain his early form dominance in conference.

Quinn makes good in the article by stating his portion of the ill-gotten funds will go to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, an organization we’d like to cry foul on for having an unfair selling point to jiggle at potential donors: keeping boobs healthy. We can’t say no, you unfair, monopolistic, tit-shaking fundraising banditas! When we start the Orson Swindle Ass Cancer Fund, you’ll have met your match, lust-teasing charity tyrants.


Help keep fine, healthy asses shaking: give to the Orson Swindle Ass Cancer Fund.