Congrats to the Florida basketball team, presumably doing it real big in Gainesville. You have no idea what this means, which is what Joakim Noah is telling you here:
Nailing whole seabass to car hoods? Making love to trees? Oh, if Noah’s involved, all that and more.
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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1
immikfefazz says:
Congrats to the Gators! Once Penn State gets a basketball team started, maybe we can play each other…
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:58 am
2
Fesser says:
I love the emerging TOSU=Susan Lucci narrative.
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:00 am
3
Stranko Montana says:
Well played Fesser
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:03 am
4
I'm a Realist says:
Does Donovan pull the Dog Whisperer at the 0:05 mark?
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:09 am
5
sandman227 says:
Was it just me, or did Florida’s players appear……faster?
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:20 am
6
Mike P. says:
When is the Jim Delaney press conference about how the Big 11’s tough academic standards are preventing them from recruiting small white guys with 3 point shooting capabilities?
Congratulations guys!
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:24 am
7
Mosby says:
The Ohio State University: Always the bridesmaid…
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:34 am
8
YMB says:
tOSU’s layoff was 3 hours longer – must have been that.
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:50 am
9
SunDawg says:
Of course the Buckeyes lost; did you notice the little silver tabs on the sholders of their jerseys? That’s the velcro where they attach the red capes they wear to appear SUPER! Apparently, someone stole their capes.
As an aside, if Owen (?) the tOSU center is less than 29 years old, I’d be amazed. He sure as hell isn’t 18.
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:54 am
10
RaginCajunRebel says:
I will say this–for a young man you grew up in the impoverished ghettos of America, Noah actually does a good job of communicating. I mean, think about it, many of these guys didn’t get great educations at the inner city high schools they attended, and while Noah is definately rough around the edges, he seems to almost be intelligent.
April 3rd, 2007 at 8:57 am
11
drogue says:
Oden ages in dog years.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:00 am
12
Joakim's Press Agent says:
#10…seriously? I know basketball is not the “chosen sport” of any of us, but Noah an IMPOVEROSHED ghetto kid? Seriously?
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:03 am
13
Mike P. says:
Ragin,
Where are the Swedish/French ghettos in America? That kid was definitely in a private school or maybe even Tebowed into college.
Check that, it’s a private school. http://www.lawrenceville.org/
Real thuggish if you can get past the khakis and sweaters tied around the neck. He’s kicking it with Carlton Banks.
Left over right= Crips
Right over left= Bloods
Tied around the waist= Folk Nation
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:06 am
14
Orson Swindle says:
He went to Cranbrook, that’s a private school…
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:10 am
15
adam says:
how cool was that. and the best part is that all those guys are genuinely awesome people. none of them get in trouble, and they all seem to actually enjoy playing college sports, instead of seeing it as a way to get a lot of money.
god i hope billy stays.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:13 am
16
BuckeyeDan says:
Someone get me a padded room. I’m on suicide watch.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:16 am
17
adam says:
also, i *think* ragin’ was joking.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:17 am
18
Orson Swindle says:
Buckeye Dan, don’t commit suicide. Seriously, you can’t. We own you, and forbid you from destroying our property.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:20 am
19
RaginCajunRebel says:
Sorry, I should have noted that my comment was complete sarcasm. Like the rest of America, I have been bombarded with Noah facts, i.e. who his mom and dad are, the fact that he speaks fluent French, the fact that he’s only 1/2 human, etc.
So yes, my comment was complete sarcasm. I hate Noah, no matter what Swindle tries to convince me of otherwise…his ghetto-ish rant at the end of the game only begins to explain why. He is about as hood as I am. Correction…I may actually be more ghetto than him. I’ve killed a man.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:21 am
20
RaginCajunRebel says:
Oh, and before you ask why—it was just to watch him die.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:23 am
21
Mike P. says:
Shot a man in Reno just to watch hin die?
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:23 am
22
Mike P. says:
delete n. insert m.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:24 am
23
Mike P. says:
Holy shit Ragin. We may be brothers from another mother.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:25 am
24
RaginCajunRebel says:
OK Mike…but where is Remo? (Again, that was a joke)
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:26 am
25
Stephen says:
Speaking of Joakim’s mom, while I know she isn’t the type this website (and this reader) normally goes for (read: in the South, we like ‘em thick & curvy) can we get a good pic of Mrs. Noah from her Miss Sweeden/modeling days for Friday Cheesecake in honor of the Gator victory?
If not, I’m still waiting for more on the boobalicious misadventures of Tebow’s girlfriend/sister.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:28 am
26
adam says:
so you hate on a guy because he doesn’t speak “correctly”? the guy has lived all over the world. i’m sure that if he were in an english lit class, and needed to discuss something, he could speak very well. after winning two national championships in a row, he can talk however the fuck he wants to.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:40 am
27
Papa Lou BSU says:
As someone who openly questioned back in January whether the sports gods would allow one school to hog the championship smorgasbord that the basketball Gators finished off last night, allow me to issue this mea culpa and congratulate our friends from Gainesville.
And while I’m not prepared to say this Florida team was better than the 91-92 Duke team that was the last to pull off a repeat, you can make a credible case for that. Florida never had to beat anyone as good as the ‘91 UNLV team during their run, but they also never needed a miracle buzzer-beater to beat anyone, either. Aside from the first 30 minutes of both the Purdue and Butler games, the Gators didn’t really break a sweat defending their title. That’s impressive as hell.
Seeing Buckeye fans cry again was well worth it.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:41 am
28
RaginCajunRebel says:
That’s good stuff, Mike. However, I don’t know if we’re brothers from another mother…no one is quite sure where I came from…It’s been rumored that I was actually found in the swamps of Louisiana, being raised by a group of friendly black bears and loveable alligators before being adopted by human parents, but who knows?
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:41 am
29
Hook'em Tide says:
Florida definitely made a sandwich with tOSU’s cheese……again.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:44 am
30
RaginCajunRebel says:
adam–I’ve hated people for a lot less than that. And no need to drop such foul language, buddy. Get a grip, it’s not like I’m putting on my diapers and driving to Florida to mace Noah, then tie him up and beat him until he learns to not act like a douche bag.
But on second thought…
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:44 am
31
spartymike says:
Cranbrook’s campus is unreal. Probably better looking than the University of Florida (at Columbus).
That was a cheap shot…sorry.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:47 am
32
Rob says:
Congrats from the cornfields, good luck this fall!
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:47 am
33
Rob Durham says:
Yeah we were 2-19 at one point on 3’s and still down by less than 10. You’re the greatest Florida. Really, you were. No, seriously you’d probably shoot that well every time and we’d go 1-19, seriously, UNLV, Duke, UCLA, and now Florida. Has Billy left your ass yet?
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:48 am
34
Rainmaker says:
Damn, that young lady is insufferable. What an embarrassment.
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:50 am
35
James says:
I’m disappointed there weren’t any shots of dejected Ohio State fans in the stands like on January 8th. By the way, what does Doing it real big in Gainesville mean?
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:50 am
36
Ltrain says:
#33:
I don’t think anyone is claiming we are the greatest.
We are just better than you.
In everything.
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:00 am
37
Seth says:
My financial adviser thanks Florida for their contribution to my retirement fund, and so do I
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:05 am
38
Orson Swindle says:
James–it probably means a shitload of cheap beer and getting head from two women in the middle of the living room. Judging from the look on Brewer’s face, at least…
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:06 am
39
MP says:
He’s talking about eightballs and hookers, duh.
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:10 am
40
PSUgirl says:
I think it means dancing with the pep band – like a little traveling troubadour following at the hem of his gown all day and all night so he can break in to dance at any moment. do dee dooty dooty bam bam.
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:18 am
41
Holly says:
I fear Noah like the spider fears the snake.
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:20 am
42
adam says:
oh, i use strong language all the time. nothing personal. i just happen to think that noah is the best thing to happen to college ball in, well, forever.
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:27 am
43
Mike P. says:
best thing to happen to college ball in, well, forever?
Bill Walton proved to the world that potheads can persevere. Carmello proved that half way to an associates degree still pays like a motherfucker. Jerry Tarkanian proved that you can beat the NCAA…sometimes. Villinova ‘85 proved David can beat Goliath. John Wooden proved that nice guys finish first 10 out of 12 years.
Noah is a punchline to every joke not coming out of the state that looks like it’s pissing on Cuba.
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:42 am
44
PDXGoneGator says:
to whomever asked about a quality 1978 photo of Noah’s mom, Cecilia Rodhe, I did a google image search and some photos exist. She’s gorgeous, but the photos are entirely too wholesome for this blog.
Anyway, Go Gators.
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:46 am
45
Orson Swindle says:
Noah is a punchline to every joke not coming out of the state that looks like it’s pissing on Cuba.
Al Horford pimping the Dominican Flag was great Floridiana, too, along with whomever had the Cuban flag out (Green, I think.)
THIS IS OURRRRR COUUUNNNNTREEEEE….
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:50 am
46
white-boned demon says:
I thought it was Walter Hodge sporting a Puerto Rican flag.
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:05 am
47
Out of Conference says:
You have to wonder if Noah’s antics are all for draft day. No disrespect (well ok a little) Look how much Ronaldo Balkman’s stock shot up after his antics during the Cocks run in the SECT and NIT last year… went from a solid late 2nd rounder/ early 3rd rounder to 1st round pick for the Knicks. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great player and I loved watching him play for South Carolina, but damn, did he sell it. I think Noah can see dollar signs like anyone else. My hope is to see Noah go Rodman weird in the NBA.
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:06 am
48
AGS says:
How can this Florida team NOT be considered one of the best ever? As far as I can tell, they’re the first almost all Men’s Basketball team to repeat. That’s damn impressive if you ask me.
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:11 am
49
Cardiac Kids says:
Whoa…whoa…whoa…I didn’t see the flag-waving crap. Is that true? Just when you think you know someone…
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:17 am
50
PeteJayhawk says:
There are an alarming number of people commenting here who seem to lack the irony/humor genes. What, did AOL Fanhouse link here or something?
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:34 am
51
Willet says:
#33 you were 1-19 because we played defense. The only reason you were that close is the Refs decided that no fouls should be called on anyone older than 30.
I guess when you become UFs bitch whining is the only logical result.
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:43 am
52
Orson Swindle says:
They can’t read the universal irony font, Pete.
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:45 am
53
Coop says:
Just like a S. Carolina fan to be incorrect. There is no 3rd Round in the NBA Draft.
No, Florida is not that good, nowhere near comparable to the Duke squads in ‘91 and ‘92. Nowhere near comparable to UNC in ‘05, Kentucky in ‘96, Duke in ‘01, or UNLV in ‘90.
But, they have won two national titles in a row, and they really did not break a sweat in winning either.
It is not Florida’s fault that their first national title occurred in possibly the worst year, talent wise, of college basketball in over 50 years, just as it is not their fault, well maybe it is, that everybody played horribly against them in Atlanta.
Fla had something to do with destroying UCLA and Ohio State, I believe.
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:50 am
54
Mike P. says:
18 consecutive wins in the post season, SEC and NCAA tournament, tells me these guys were clutch. They may not have been the most talented team in history but you can’t teach the ability to keep your shit together under extreme pressure.
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:01 pm
55
Pants McPants says:
I find it funny that other schools mock OSU for playing in two championship games, but losing both…
If we’re Florida’s bitch, then so are you…And you’re our bitch too….You bitch’s bitches you…
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:02 pm
56
kleph says:
no, that means florida is just better than us. which is completely different from the state of “being owned.”
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:08 pm
57
Dave says:
After all these Noah pics and whatnot, I have to ask: Is the Punchout 64 going to re-commence? Cuz my fist is getting mighty itchy.
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:36 pm
58
Don V says:
Getting into two championship games in two different sports is quite an accomplishment. Congratulations to OSU.
We shouldn’t mock The Ohio State Bills; they have a great program.
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:42 pm
59
Willet says:
I agree Don
Let’s all join them with their chant “were number two”
Congrats to the Ohio State Generals
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:49 pm
60
doreblogger says:
Noah cracks me up, trying so hard to be “hard” and failing so miserably. It’s endearing, honestly.
If only Matt Walsh had been around as well…
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:04 pm
61
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Inquiring Minds Want to Know Dept:
Congrats on another national title. But, when J. Noah said:
“We’re going to do it big – all day, all night…The Gator boys know what I’m talking about.”
What did he mean? I’ve read most of the comments on this post, some written by Gators, but still nave no idea about what he was going to do big. Celebrate? Wine, women, dancing? Too obvious. Who knows what they do in Gator land….
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:08 pm
62
NewAZTiger says:
FWIW, Noah meant that the Gator Basketball team was going Whaling.
Big Girls knead love too.
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:12 pm
63
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Someone tell the Buckeyes that there is no such thing as second place.
There is the champ, and the rest are chumps.
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:13 pm
64
Yant says:
SKLM: Doing it big, all day and all night? He means Scrabble. But if they get really crazy, they might pull out the Cranium.
Because Noah’s all about that intellectual shit.
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:40 pm
65
HFS says:
Scrabble? I thought Boggle was the word game of choice in da hood.
So is this site going to change to http://www.everydayshouldbeinmarch.com?
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:51 pm
66
Orson Swindle says:
No. Our perfunctory basketball coverage is over.
Punch-Out and instructional videos will follow soon.
April 3rd, 2007 at 2:01 pm
67
AGS says:
I want to punch Noah in the face.
This CAN NOT be said enough.
April 3rd, 2007 at 2:54 pm
68
sb says:
Is it because Oden is over 40 that he got to wear the non-contact jersey? Damn thing had a direct link to the ref’s whistle and only works one way. I mean, no one was allowed to touch that old fart without fouling him, and he put Corey on the floor twice with no fouls… man, that’s some good shit if you can get it.
#56… uh, I think finishing twice in consecutive championship games to the same opponent would qualify as being “owned”.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:12 pm
69
Because They Can says:
I was in the dark regarding Orson’s defense of Noah in the earlier post, but now all is clear. He’s just so darn lovable, isn’t he? The fake ghetto blather and the fact that he’s half French and a silver spoon kid to boot only add to his cuddly cuteness!
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:13 pm
70
MP says:
The hate of Noah here (of which I’m apart) reminds me of a Caller of the Day on the Jim Rome Show from a couple years ago. This guy leaves a lengthy message apropos of nothing on th show that day about Cal Ripken and what a bum he is. His last line was “I want to spray Cal Ripken in the face with a full can of mace!” Cheers dandom caller, cheers.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:21 pm
71
Because They Can says:
BTW, I would love to have had a mind reading machine hooked up to Nance during that, uh, speech.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:21 pm
72
meg says:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WEATHER/04/03/hurricane.forecast.ap/index.html
Man, there was a reason the Greeks always started looking around behind them when things were going great. Have fun this summer, Florida.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:25 pm
73
RaginCajunRebel says:
“Hey meg–that’s not funny. Jerk.”
–New Orleans
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:27 pm
74
Orson Swindle says:
“Hey meg–that’s not funny. Jerk.”
–Bangladesh
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:30 pm
75
sandman227 says:
That’s really not fair: Bangladesh’s infrastructure is much better than New Orleans
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:55 pm
76
sb says:
…and Jim Rome, while burning, just said that while OSU’s basketball and football had great years, they best hope that they don’t play a team named “Florida”, because no one “owns anyone like Florida owns OSU”…or something suitably inflammatory. I thought that was germaine to my earlier post and I’m still buzzin’ from the cocktails and caffeine glow of that late night Gator party in G-ville enough to drive by and drop off some additional kind words…
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:55 pm
77
MasterGaytor says:
“We’re going to do it big – all day, all night…The Gator boys know what I’m talking about.”
What he meant was he was going to circle jerk off all the more talented players on the team who let him run around and act like an idiot.
Looking forward to when he goes into the NBA and shows up 5 years later on a “where are they now” TV show.
Oden owned Noah last night. Now on deserves an over-rated chant like Noah.
Here that swooshing sound? That is Noah’s draft stock falling……
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:07 pm
78
MasterGaytor says:
“love the emerging TOSU=Susan Lucci narrative.”
When you get done driving around in your El Camino wearing Jorts and drinking PBR, try doing some research.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:11 pm
79
MoClarett says:
Brewer’s parents new house is the shizz! He got a sweet deal!
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:15 pm
80
MasterGaytor says:
Brewer is the one guy I really respect on that team.
He and his family could have really used the money he passed up last year. Congrats to him for meeting his goal for the year. Hope he gets PAID in the NBA.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:17 pm
81
baconboy says:
As for Noah’s thug persona, it’s clear he grew up in a privileged environment. On the other hand, he also regularly played at Rucker Park in NYC, so he’s got some street cred.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:43 pm
82
dogtown gator says:
I’m absolutely certain that Oden is Riggs from Lethal Weapon.
“Man, I’m getting too old for this shit.”
Think I might’ve type that joke last night, here. Might’ve been drunk.
“doing it big in Gainesville” in my day meant a keg of natural light, some jager and sticking it in some KKGs.
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:26 pm
83
sb says:
Nice drive-bys MasterGaytor…although it all sounds a little bitter and resentful, especially the homo-erotic, paternalistic angle you take in your screenname. Try not to make your anti-Gator, Noah-hatin’ so obvious… especially since us Gators are on such an NCAA unprecedented high. Yeah, I know you’re just waitin’ for Orson to crank out the “Punch-List”, not that in reality you could do much to mar Noah’s natural visage, its the desire to do so that tells the true color of your soul….work on that, it will only do you good.
Jon… if the gin makes me belligerent, then the vodka does something else entirely.
dogtown, thats what it meant to me…KKG’s and AOP’s in my time, although early on it was DDD and ADP, but you tend to go through the crowd and look for something new…or did I wear out my welcome??? I can’t remember… there was the intoxicated formal dinner where I asked (after clinking my glass) “the difference between a DDD and a bowling ball” which didn’t get a very good reception except for my frat bros… at least they got it…so I’m sorry they didn’t get to finish dinner…. it was still funny.
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:32 pm
84
Sir Ginho of the 216 says:
I was going to type some bitter retory that casted Noah as the epitome of all I hate…
Sigh.
I guess it’s better to be runner-up than irrelevant.
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:56 pm
85
Y2K says:
sigh…
I just…I just feel like nobody’s focusing on the fact that Noah needs to be punched.
In the face.
April 4th, 2007 at 10:22 am
86
Orson Swindle says:
Master Gaytor, we would counter your statements were they not the alpha and omega of rhetoric. You’re completely right! They’re all gay and inferior to (insert your team’s name here.)!!! Come break into our house sometime, because we’ll be curled up weeping in the corner while you take everything we own!!!
Correction, though: ‘Fesser really is a professor, and not a Gator. And he does not wear jean shorts. Madras plaid, yes; jeans, no.
April 4th, 2007 at 11:12 am
87
Dave says:
Y2K’s right. We all need to put aside our differences and focus on the common good, which involves feeding Noah’s faux ghetto mouth a knuckle sandwich. (Made with Ohio State cheese, though, natch.)
April 4th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
88
Meg says:
Hey, Ragin’-life’s a bitch when you live below sea level on the coast of the Gulf. Just change the name to Atlantis and build a theme park.
April 4th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
89
DC Trojan says:
So what is the difference between a DDD and a bowling ball then?
April 4th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
90
Mike Honcho says:
Baconboy – Rucker Park? Like Darius Rucker? fuckin white people…always gotta bring Hootie n the Blowfish into a conversation just to win an argument.
DC – I don’t remember the punchline, but it has something to do with three holes, three fingers and sliding down a lane.
April 4th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
91
DC Trojan says:
The internets claim the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball are:
1>You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
2>You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
3>You can’t fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
April 4th, 2007 at 3:16 pm