Congrats to the Florida basketball team, presumably doing it real big in Gainesville. You have no idea what this means, which is what Joakim Noah is telling you here:
Nailing whole seabass to car hoods? Making love to trees? Oh, if Noah’s involved, all that and more.
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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51
Willet says:
#33 you were 1-19 because we played defense. The only reason you were that close is the Refs decided that no fouls should be called on anyone older than 30.
I guess when you become UFs bitch whining is the only logical result.
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:43 am
52
Orson Swindle says:
They can’t read the universal irony font, Pete.
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:45 am
53
Coop says:
Just like a S. Carolina fan to be incorrect. There is no 3rd Round in the NBA Draft.
No, Florida is not that good, nowhere near comparable to the Duke squads in ‘91 and ‘92. Nowhere near comparable to UNC in ‘05, Kentucky in ‘96, Duke in ‘01, or UNLV in ‘90.
But, they have won two national titles in a row, and they really did not break a sweat in winning either.
It is not Florida’s fault that their first national title occurred in possibly the worst year, talent wise, of college basketball in over 50 years, just as it is not their fault, well maybe it is, that everybody played horribly against them in Atlanta.
Fla had something to do with destroying UCLA and Ohio State, I believe.
April 3rd, 2007 at 11:50 am
54
Mike P. says:
18 consecutive wins in the post season, SEC and NCAA tournament, tells me these guys were clutch. They may not have been the most talented team in history but you can’t teach the ability to keep your shit together under extreme pressure.
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:01 pm
55
Pants McPants says:
I find it funny that other schools mock OSU for playing in two championship games, but losing both…
If we’re Florida’s bitch, then so are you…And you’re our bitch too….You bitch’s bitches you…
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:02 pm
56
kleph says:
no, that means florida is just better than us. which is completely different from the state of “being owned.”
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:08 pm
57
Dave says:
After all these Noah pics and whatnot, I have to ask: Is the Punchout 64 going to re-commence? Cuz my fist is getting mighty itchy.
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:36 pm
58
Don V says:
Getting into two championship games in two different sports is quite an accomplishment. Congratulations to OSU.
We shouldn’t mock The Ohio State Bills; they have a great program.
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:42 pm
59
Willet says:
I agree Don
Let’s all join them with their chant “were number two”
Congrats to the Ohio State Generals
April 3rd, 2007 at 12:49 pm
60
doreblogger says:
Noah cracks me up, trying so hard to be “hard” and failing so miserably. It’s endearing, honestly.
If only Matt Walsh had been around as well…
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:04 pm
61
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Inquiring Minds Want to Know Dept:
Congrats on another national title. But, when J. Noah said:
“We’re going to do it big – all day, all night…The Gator boys know what I’m talking about.”
What did he mean? I’ve read most of the comments on this post, some written by Gators, but still nave no idea about what he was going to do big. Celebrate? Wine, women, dancing? Too obvious. Who knows what they do in Gator land….
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:08 pm
62
NewAZTiger says:
FWIW, Noah meant that the Gator Basketball team was going Whaling.
Big Girls knead love too.
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:12 pm
63
Stacy Keibler Luvs Me says:
Someone tell the Buckeyes that there is no such thing as second place.
There is the champ, and the rest are chumps.
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:13 pm
64
Yant says:
SKLM: Doing it big, all day and all night? He means Scrabble. But if they get really crazy, they might pull out the Cranium.
Because Noah’s all about that intellectual shit.
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:40 pm
65
HFS says:
Scrabble? I thought Boggle was the word game of choice in da hood.
So is this site going to change to http://www.everydayshouldbeinmarch.com?
April 3rd, 2007 at 1:51 pm
66
Orson Swindle says:
No. Our perfunctory basketball coverage is over.
Punch-Out and instructional videos will follow soon.
April 3rd, 2007 at 2:01 pm
67
AGS says:
I want to punch Noah in the face.
This CAN NOT be said enough.
April 3rd, 2007 at 2:54 pm
68
sb says:
Is it because Oden is over 40 that he got to wear the non-contact jersey? Damn thing had a direct link to the ref’s whistle and only works one way. I mean, no one was allowed to touch that old fart without fouling him, and he put Corey on the floor twice with no fouls… man, that’s some good shit if you can get it.
#56… uh, I think finishing twice in consecutive championship games to the same opponent would qualify as being “owned”.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:12 pm
69
Because They Can says:
I was in the dark regarding Orson’s defense of Noah in the earlier post, but now all is clear. He’s just so darn lovable, isn’t he? The fake ghetto blather and the fact that he’s half French and a silver spoon kid to boot only add to his cuddly cuteness!
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:13 pm
70
MP says:
The hate of Noah here (of which I’m apart) reminds me of a Caller of the Day on the Jim Rome Show from a couple years ago. This guy leaves a lengthy message apropos of nothing on th show that day about Cal Ripken and what a bum he is. His last line was “I want to spray Cal Ripken in the face with a full can of mace!” Cheers dandom caller, cheers.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:21 pm
71
Because They Can says:
BTW, I would love to have had a mind reading machine hooked up to Nance during that, uh, speech.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:21 pm
72
meg says:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WEATHER/04/03/hurricane.forecast.ap/index.html
Man, there was a reason the Greeks always started looking around behind them when things were going great. Have fun this summer, Florida.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:25 pm
73
RaginCajunRebel says:
“Hey meg–that’s not funny. Jerk.”
–New Orleans
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:27 pm
74
Orson Swindle says:
“Hey meg–that’s not funny. Jerk.”
–Bangladesh
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:30 pm
75
sandman227 says:
That’s really not fair: Bangladesh’s infrastructure is much better than New Orleans
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:55 pm
76
sb says:
…and Jim Rome, while burning, just said that while OSU’s basketball and football had great years, they best hope that they don’t play a team named “Florida”, because no one “owns anyone like Florida owns OSU”…or something suitably inflammatory. I thought that was germaine to my earlier post and I’m still buzzin’ from the cocktails and caffeine glow of that late night Gator party in G-ville enough to drive by and drop off some additional kind words…
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:55 pm
77
MasterGaytor says:
“We’re going to do it big – all day, all night…The Gator boys know what I’m talking about.”
What he meant was he was going to circle jerk off all the more talented players on the team who let him run around and act like an idiot.
Looking forward to when he goes into the NBA and shows up 5 years later on a “where are they now” TV show.
Oden owned Noah last night. Now on deserves an over-rated chant like Noah.
Here that swooshing sound? That is Noah’s draft stock falling……
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:07 pm
78
MasterGaytor says:
“love the emerging TOSU=Susan Lucci narrative.”
When you get done driving around in your El Camino wearing Jorts and drinking PBR, try doing some research.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:11 pm
79
MoClarett says:
Brewer’s parents new house is the shizz! He got a sweet deal!
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:15 pm
80
MasterGaytor says:
Brewer is the one guy I really respect on that team.
He and his family could have really used the money he passed up last year. Congrats to him for meeting his goal for the year. Hope he gets PAID in the NBA.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:17 pm
81
baconboy says:
As for Noah’s thug persona, it’s clear he grew up in a privileged environment. On the other hand, he also regularly played at Rucker Park in NYC, so he’s got some street cred.
April 3rd, 2007 at 4:43 pm
82
dogtown gator says:
I’m absolutely certain that Oden is Riggs from Lethal Weapon.
“Man, I’m getting too old for this shit.”
Think I might’ve type that joke last night, here. Might’ve been drunk.
“doing it big in Gainesville” in my day meant a keg of natural light, some jager and sticking it in some KKGs.
April 3rd, 2007 at 6:26 pm
83
sb says:
Nice drive-bys MasterGaytor…although it all sounds a little bitter and resentful, especially the homo-erotic, paternalistic angle you take in your screenname. Try not to make your anti-Gator, Noah-hatin’ so obvious… especially since us Gators are on such an NCAA unprecedented high. Yeah, I know you’re just waitin’ for Orson to crank out the “Punch-List”, not that in reality you could do much to mar Noah’s natural visage, its the desire to do so that tells the true color of your soul….work on that, it will only do you good.
Jon… if the gin makes me belligerent, then the vodka does something else entirely.
dogtown, thats what it meant to me…KKG’s and AOP’s in my time, although early on it was DDD and ADP, but you tend to go through the crowd and look for something new…or did I wear out my welcome??? I can’t remember… there was the intoxicated formal dinner where I asked (after clinking my glass) “the difference between a DDD and a bowling ball” which didn’t get a very good reception except for my frat bros… at least they got it…so I’m sorry they didn’t get to finish dinner…. it was still funny.
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:32 pm
84
Sir Ginho of the 216 says:
I was going to type some bitter retory that casted Noah as the epitome of all I hate…
Sigh.
I guess it’s better to be runner-up than irrelevant.
April 3rd, 2007 at 10:56 pm
85
Y2K says:
sigh…
I just…I just feel like nobody’s focusing on the fact that Noah needs to be punched.
In the face.
April 4th, 2007 at 10:22 am
86
Orson Swindle says:
Master Gaytor, we would counter your statements were they not the alpha and omega of rhetoric. You’re completely right! They’re all gay and inferior to (insert your team’s name here.)!!! Come break into our house sometime, because we’ll be curled up weeping in the corner while you take everything we own!!!
Correction, though: ‘Fesser really is a professor, and not a Gator. And he does not wear jean shorts. Madras plaid, yes; jeans, no.
April 4th, 2007 at 11:12 am
87
Dave says:
Y2K’s right. We all need to put aside our differences and focus on the common good, which involves feeding Noah’s faux ghetto mouth a knuckle sandwich. (Made with Ohio State cheese, though, natch.)
April 4th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
88
Meg says:
Hey, Ragin’-life’s a bitch when you live below sea level on the coast of the Gulf. Just change the name to Atlantis and build a theme park.
April 4th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
89
DC Trojan says:
So what is the difference between a DDD and a bowling ball then?
April 4th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
90
Mike Honcho says:
Baconboy – Rucker Park? Like Darius Rucker? fuckin white people…always gotta bring Hootie n the Blowfish into a conversation just to win an argument.
DC – I don’t remember the punchline, but it has something to do with three holes, three fingers and sliding down a lane.
April 4th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
91
DC Trojan says:
The internets claim the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball are:
1>You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
2>You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
3>You can’t fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
April 4th, 2007 at 3:16 pm