PURDUE FOOTBALLER STABBED IN CLUB

by Orson on Mar 30, 2007 12:03 PM EDT

Last season Purdue TE Garret Bushong stated that:

We run this place and if anyone begs to differ, I’ll say what my good buddy Brandon Kirsch once said. "You know where to find me, locker number three, so come and say what you need to say to my face."

This edict does not apply to Nick's Nightclub in West Lafayette. Purdue wide receiver Selwyn Lymon, (not named after the mythical half lime, half-lemon fueling the irresistible taste of Sprite,) got stabbed by someone early this morning in the parking lot of the aforementioned club. Lymon suffered a wound to the upper chest and is listed in critical but stable condition at St. Elizabeth Medical Center in Lafayette. For the layperson, "critical but stable" is medical terminology for "nasty, probably won't die, and definitely in need of piles of painkillers."

Purdue WR Lymon: injury report says "stabbed."

Paramedics responded promptly and stopped the bleeding, prompting Joe Tiller to immediately offer them the job of defensive coordinator at Purdue. "We've had a problem with that around here," said Tiller at a morning press conference. "When we see talent, we take it wherever it's coming from."*

* No, he didn't.

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We know that it wasn’t either Tommy Zbikowski or Chinedum Ndukwe that did it… they weren’t anywhere near him all game.

I kid because I love.

by Whitey on Mar 30, 2007 12:12 PM EDT reply actions

Off-topic but has anyone heard from CBG this AM?
I want to make sure she didn’t celebrate that NIT championship too hard.

If anyone knows what its like to celebrate and NIT title its us Cocks.

by GamecockTony on Mar 30, 2007 12:19 PM EDT reply actions

His mother must have raised him under the belief of," There’s no I in team but maybe I can find a place for a couple of useless y’s."

by Mike P. on Mar 30, 2007 12:32 PM EDT reply actions

And the Notre Dame defensive backfield rejoiced at the unintended consequence…580 yds receiving for the season…238 yds v. the Irish…

by immikfefazz on Mar 30, 2007 12:40 PM EDT reply actions

poor taste

by matt on Mar 30, 2007 4:23 PM EDT reply actions

in the medical world (i’m a doctor), critical but stable implies “you’re fucking sick, but you’re not going to die right now, but one snafu, and you’re shit outta luck”

by Brian on Mar 30, 2007 5:56 PM EDT reply actions

Thanks for the wonderful use of medical terminology. :)

by James on Mar 30, 2007 8:33 PM EDT reply actions

One of my favorite spelling of “team” jokes: There is no I in team, but there is an m and e. Run laps joker!

by Electrirfried on Mar 30, 2007 11:13 PM EDT reply actions

This kid was supposed to be all-world when he came to Purdue. He had to sit out a year (paying his own way at Purdue) due to an academic thing. Last year as a freshman, he missed a few games due to getting shot in the eye with a paintball gun. Now this.

As if things weren’t bad enough, one of Purdue’s VHT safeties, Torri Williams, was out the two previous years with knee injuries, was finally looking like he might come back, and he got arrested on suspicion of DUI after leaving Nick’s…

by Brad Warbiany on Mar 31, 2007 1:02 AM EDT reply actions