PEA-NUTTS: WHERE FAN PSYCHOSIS MEETS FOIA
Another exciting chapter in college football’s favorite telenovela unfolds. Join us now for…
Las Cronicas this week opens with a Law and Order bend to the plot. Last year’s contract extension for Boss Hawg emerged without details on the exact numbers. Enter intrepid reporters, who instead of investigating the wallows of graft floating around them grabbed themselves a Freedom of Information Act request to force the divulging of the exact numbers of Nutt’s contract.
(We’re so down with responsible journalism in the south we even use FOIA to find out coaching salaries. Suck on that, Yankee elitists. WHAT? HUH?)
The details? For going 10-4 and getting the Razorbacks to the SEC championship game, Nutt received a whopping raise of 1,768,728 dollars. Man, that’s actually a shitload of money. Good job, sir…
No, wait…that’s in pesos, actually. In US currency that’s a raise of $160,000, a piddling sum leaving Nutt as the eighth-ranked coach in salary terms in the SEC behind Urban Meyer, Phil Fulmer, Cappy the popcorn guy at Ole Miss, Smokey the Tennessee mascot, and Jackd Filltrap, tenured Professor of Badass Studies at LSU.
Nutt did receive a ton of deferred money, including a million dollar bonus if he stays through 2009. We love those bonuses. They should just include things like “Gets own MechaGodzilla in 2013,” or “May force all staffers to wear harem pants in 2013.” Given the mayflyesque coaching tenures in the SEC and in college football in general, it’s a solid bet he’ll never see any of it.
“If I stay ’til 2012, I get the one on the right…which is nice.”
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1
What was not addressed were the rights to the screenplay and the serial drama this Peyton Place-esque delectable fiasco will spawn… I applaud their every move… where else, besides the halls of congress, do you get such unadulterated fun dripping down the walls? Really?
Comment by sb — March 29, 2007 @ 1:55 pm
2
Fulmer’s Krispy Kreme?
Comment by Kenny — March 29, 2007 @ 2:20 pm
3
YEA! Los Cronicas Locas… it must be sweeps
Comment by PeterPumpkinhead — March 29, 2007 @ 3:12 pm
4
…as an Arkansas fan, I know how shocked people are that he gets about a million seven, total, in compensation, when everything is tied together. The general complaint is that he’s overpayed– but yet he’s done more at the helm of his squad than half the coaches in the SEC, and paid below average.
Sometimes, I just don’t understand fan-bases.
Comment by Will — March 29, 2007 @ 5:32 pm
5
1. In the north, the top of the journalism class goes to the NYT or WaPo; in the south, you go to the sports pages. Priorities people.
2. The seven SEC coaches ahead of him have SEC titles w/ the exception of Les Miles, who has a good record (22-4ish?)
3. We FOI’d (yes that is a verb) his phone records. He was in contact w/ the evil emailer to Senorita Mustain several times that dia. The records also reveal the newest rumor in Arkansas. Proof of an affair. You can’t make this stuff up. http://www.shannews.com/
Comment by wilco — March 29, 2007 @ 10:23 pm
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#5, re: your 1.: thus the falling readership in both NYT and WaPo… have a saleable product, give the public what they want…looks like them southerners got it right.
re: your 3.: In the event this “affair” is chronicalled (sp) with pictures please give notice in advance… some acts of promiscuity are better left unseen and unimagined, and one with Boss Hawg and the obese, anti-Mustain e-mailer would fall into that category… I’m having difficulty getting through my morning coffee with that mental image bouncing around in my head…
Comment by sb — March 30, 2007 @ 8:01 am
7
Imagine my disappointment upon realizing FOIA is an acronym, and not a new word for my ever-expanding Spanish vocabulary. But I’m still hooked on Las Cronicas!
Comment by beast in 'bama — March 30, 2007 @ 8:36 am
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gotta love Arkansas:”The struggle began with a coup d’état—the physical removal of the sitting governor—and escalated to armed conflict. The ensuing events were complex political affairs with shifting allegiances. Eventually the intervention of President Ulysses S. Grant was necessary to settle the conflict.”
Comment by winstongator — March 30, 2007 @ 9:56 am