FULMER CUP: KENTUCKY FOOTBALL IS THE BOMB.

How many points?

That’s all that matters, FC points.

As a young sprout I pilfered a hockey puck sized cake of sodium from the HS chemistry lab, took it to a local creek and tossed it in. That was nice.

Val’s second greatest role ever right there. Makes me want some popcorn.

Second role after, need I say, Doc Holiday in Tombstone.

would 3rd be that disguisey dude in “The Saint”?

Nah — his best role was as Nick Rivers in “Top Secret!”

…or as Elvis in True Romance.

“Real Genius” is one of the most underrated comedies evah evah. “I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said … ‘I drank what?’”

As a devoted fan of McClinton’s UK football-inspired rapping, I find this hard to swallow. Surely he was just getting ready to go to war with them boys.

I guarantee you he got the idea from Mythbusters.

He should get a bonus point for doing this at a public school. I would have expected this from someone at Northwestern or Vandy, not Kentucky.

I rate Val Kilmer’s performances as follows:

1. Tombstone “I haff two guns…one fo’ each of yuh.”
2. Real Genius
3. Top Secret—“How did you get that name?” “I don’t know, my father said he thought of it while he was shaving”
4. The Saint
5. Top Gun

I always wondered what happened to Mitch.

What a great movie.

Whatever happened to everyone else from that movie? I vaguely remember seeing the nut-case recently in something. Did the female lead end up doing porn, or what?

I mean, if Val could go on to fame and fortune, why couldn’t she?

This movie also belongs on some kind of Top 5 list for “Most Quotable.” (I’d also put Cannonball Run on such a list, and institute the caveat that you gotta have a whole separate list for Will Farrell.)

Tebow always checks his optics.

1. Blues Brothers
2. Princess Bride
3. Cannonball Run
4. Real Genius
5. Breakfast Club

Here’s your list ph.

Sorry, Animal House should have been number 5.

I knew all that hard work watching movies would be put to good use…

#13: I don’t know about anything recently, but Hollyfeld (sp?) was Delroy Lindo’s partner in crime in ‘Get Shorty’? He was killed in that movie by Dennis Farina (“Serrano’s got the disks!”, Midnight Run).

#7: That’s my favorite role of his; his Elvis was awesome.

#3: Now I know what to get you for your birthday.

Our own private reserve:

1. O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Optimal performance line: I’m gone KILLLLL YOUUUUUU!!!

2. Anchorman

Fond of “It smells like bigfoot’s dick.”

3. New hottnezz: Idiocracy

Used only in company who know what we’re quoting, but this exchange is the best:

Why are you trying to read? Are you a fag?

I’ll fag your face!

4. Hunt For Red October.

Some things in here don’t react well to bulletshhh, Ryan.

I would like to have seen…Montana…

5. Cabin Boy.

Just awesome non-sequiturs.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “What could be stranger than a big fatass floatin’ cupcake?” Heh. How about one that spits tobacco?

Purple lightning. That’s always a good sign.

I’ve permanently yanked the silver spoon from my mouth, and I buried it 6,000 miles beneath the Earth’s crust….I mean, figuratively speaking, of course. I mean, who could do such a thing? That would be insane.

‘I have not yet begun to defile myself’- greatest single quote to ever bust out at the bar.

Ok, I realize I’m answering my own question, but the tie-in to this post is just too good.

The female lead (Jordan) was Michelle Meyrink. IMDB doesn’t even have her picture. But the next to last movie in her filmogoraphy (which ends in 1988) is…

“Nice Girls Don’t Explode”.

Kid got arrested and then investigated by the dept of Homeland Security/FBI/what-have-you for doing that exact same thing at Georgia Tech last year.

God – “Oh, and Kent . . . stop playing with yourself.”

Kent – “It really is you God”

Is it just me, or is there a lot more Fulmer Cup activity this year?

I like Spaceballs:
- You’re looking at now sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.
- What happened to then?
- We passed then.
- When?
- Just now. We’re at now, now.
…
- When will then be now?
- Soon.

#19. A well-timed “Nonsense, ah’m in mah’ prime” works well in many drinking scenarios, too.
And what, no mention of “The Big Lebowski” as insanely quotable?

It’s also good to see that what I would consider “goofing off at work” the authorities consider “wanton endangerment.” After reading the article, of course a kid from Ft. Campbell would have a fascination with exploding things.

Dan was acting out…the Great Molester was lurking around Tallahasee at the time

#17, re: #13

You guys, Laszlo Hollyfeld was also Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. Come on, people!

How is Caddyshack not on the list for most quotable?

“Hey Wang!”

" I think this this place is restricted. So don’t tell them you’re Jewish!"

“Okay Fine.”

from “Real Genius”: “Can you hammer a 6” spike through a 2″ × 4″ with your penis?"

and from “Red October” courtesy Phat Phil’s former senator:
“This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it”

and

“Russkie sub commander don’t take a dump without a plan, son”

That’s complete bunk about Russians. If you’ve ever seen a Muscovite toilet, you’d know how wrong that statement was.

Don’t forget “Blazing Saddles”-

Taggert- “Ooh, we’ll run a number six on ’em”
Hedley Lamar – “Number six? I’m not familiar with that one”
T- Well, that’s when you go a’ridin into town. A whoopin and a whompin, beatin every living thing within an inch of it’s life…except the women folk a’course
HL – You spare the women?
T – Hell no! We rape the shit out of them at the #6 dance later on.

Or Lebowski

and I can’t even begin to choose a single quote since I know the entire movie by heart…

Mitch showed up as an engineer in Mission Control in Apollo 13. It was a decent movie, but the Mitch sighting was by far the best part of it for me…

Beanik – I knew that, really!

Though I suggested it, I’ve now realized it’s impossible to make list of 5 Most Quotable Movies. 25, maybe, or 50.

The only way I can get down to a managable number is if I list entire bodies of work on each line, instead of just a single movie (i.e. Zucker-Abrams-Zucker 70s, John Hughes’ 80s, Will Ferrell 00s). Even doing that, I’m still at about 14.

And we haven’t even gotten into non-movie quotables. Does anyone else conflate 16 Candles and Gauntlet the video game? “Donger needs food… Badly.” Maybe that’s just me.
Props to you guys who come up with these things all the time; it’s harder than it looks.

Panhandler… “Shots do not hurt other players… YET!”

Cabin Boy? Motherfucking Cabin Boy?

It’s sitting next to my tv right now.
I thought I was the only one…now I know what it feels like when doves cry.

These pipes are CLEAN!!!!!

here’s the rest of the list though:
Caddyshack
Stripes
Anchorman
Lebowski
Hudsucker Proxy
Hoosiers (Got ‘em good, didn’t I coach?)
Rushmore

and for unintentional comedy, Death Wish 3 and Star Wars (But I was going to Tosche Station to pick up some Powere Converters.)

Jeeebus, what a whiny bitch Luke is….

Gauntlet: “Elf shot the food!”

Holliday: “Because if I thought we weren’t friends… I don’t think I could bear it.”

and

“This is a nocturne.”
“A whut?”
“A nocturne. You know, Frederick fucking Chopin.”

and on the Star Wars bit: I once spent a day sitting across from Uncle Owen at a comic convention (used to own a studio.) I think he was ready to kill us by the end of it, because we spent most of that day loudly repeating Luke’s whiniest lines:
“But I was going to Tosche Station to pick up some Power Converterrrrrrrs!”
“But why can’t we go see Master Yoda nowwwwww?!”

Met Jerry Bulloch (Boba Fett) and hung out with Caroline Blakiston (Mon Mothma) for most of the weekend. Good people.

What are the odds this headline writer is a Louisville grad?

http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070326/SPORTS03/70326047

Power converters? Jon, you can play with your friends later.

1. - “What’s the matter Colonel Sanders? Chicken?” God, I love that movie….

I’m surrounded by A$$holes!

This comment thread is also equipped with BIG JIM SLADE.

living on Tatooine might put a lot of sand in Luke’s vagina, I suppose

Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket is also priceless:
“Private Pyle, you climb obstacles like old people fuck!”

the courier-journal article is fantastic—he’s the beat writer for UK, but at least he finds humor in it

1. - This blog also brought to you in feel-o-vision

No “Most Quotable” list is complete without Raising Arizona:

“Guv-ment do take a bite, don’t she?”
“We released ourselves on our own recognizance.”
“Well, sometimes I get the menstrual cramps real hard.”
“Why ain’t you breast feedin’- you appear to be capable.”
“Awful good cereal flakes, Mrs. McDunnough.”
“Dammit, H.I., the sun don’t rise and set on the corner grocery!”
“That’s your whole raison detre, ain’t it? Findin’ microbes and shit?”
“I want Nathan Jr. back- or whicheverthehell one of ’em they took!”
“I’ll be takin’ these Huggies and whatever cash you got…”
“Son, you got a panty on your head.”

O.K., I’ll stop now. (And don’t even get me started on M.P. and the Holy Grail…)

#36

speaking of annoying sentences….

“I wanted the damn TRANSFER orders!”

Gauntlet – “Don’t shoot the potion!”

Quotable well known movies (showing my age)
Princess Bride
Spinal Tap
Holy Grail
Fletch (even though I didn’t like it that much you can’t escape it)
Caddyshack
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Blazing Saddles
Weird Science

Quotable less well known movies
Summer School (Mark Harmon, Kirstie Allie (when she was hot), Courtney Thorne-Smith))
Say Anything (John Cusack and Ione Skye)

#44, I’ve always been partial to:

“HI…you’re young and you’ve got your health; what do you want with a job?”

So I’ve got that going for me…which is nice.

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac…It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!

Caddyshack is #1…book it.

Lock, Stock, & 2 Smoking Barrels is a good underdog pick:

If you hold back anything, I’ll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I’ll kill ya. If you forget anything I’ll kill ya. In fact, you’re gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I’ve said? Because if you don’t, I’ll kill ya.

Dammit. Rasing Arizona, in turn, reminds me of all the crazies-in-the-west movies, like the long-black-hair festivus that is Desperado.

“And by the way? Your beer tastes like piss.”
“WE KNOW! WE PEEESE IN IT!”

(…and now we are back to Latin cheesecake. Stranko, it’s “Colombia Day” at the Capitol, today. Care to help us celebrate diversity?)

Not a comedy, but I’d certainly put “Full Metal Jacket” on the most quotable list….the opening basic training scene alone is textbook child-rearing material :)

oh, and Office Space ain’t too bad either…

I’m thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics. If things go well I might be showing her my O-face. “Oh… Oh… Oh!” You know what I’m talkin’ about. “Oh!”

and when there was no meat, we ate fowl, and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad, and when there was no crawdad, we ate sand.

you ate what?

sand.

sand?

That’s right

Panhandler:

My forehead is bruised from smacking it after reading post #49: two outstanding reccomendations

And for a month after seeing “Snatch”, I couldn’t help saying “I fooking hate pikees” at least 4 times a day

Holy Grail has to be in the top 5. Wikiquote has a tag saying that it might be in violation as practically the entire movie dialogue has been posted.

All right… we’ll call it a draw.

Yellow… no blue!! Aaarrrgghhhhhhh.

Most of my list has already been mentioned , Princess Bride, Big Leboski, Spinal Tap (anyone who has been in a band has to have that on their list)

But I have to add my #1 “Pulp Fiction” .

That’s some serious GOURMET shit
That’s not a bike, that’s a chopper
You know what they call a quarter pounder in Paris?
Does he look like a bitch?
Pigs are flithy animals

We use to make bitching bombs with 25 sparklers and a roll of electrical tape. Mail boxes all over southwest AL felt my wrath. I will reassure you that no wonton noodles were ever in any danger.

Oh man….how could I have forgotten “Swingers”

…and another overlooked masterpiece was “Volunteers” with jewels like:

“Bootsie Widener? You want Bootsie Widener? Take her, everybody else has!”

“Just another sexually frustrated jewish maid joining the peace corps to avoid men.”
(slap)
“What? Something I said?”

“I’m going solely by height, but are you in charge here?”

“I’m gonna kill ya, then I’m gonna skin ya, then I’m gonna use your shinbone as a pencil box…”

“Asshole…that Chun-Me…he’s a mutha-fucka!”
“Mr. Me! Pardon the comment about the hair, but you must admit it is ridiculous…”

“Jim Beam, Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker…the gang’s all here!”

I guess it helped that I had a real hardon for Beth Wexler, the erstwhile “jewish maid”…Bootsie was a little cynical for my taste…

Sandman – another head-smacker, Swingers. Imagine if Gauntlet started talking to you, the way the answering machine does at the beginning of Swingers. “You shot the food. You have no friends and should get out more.”

And Monty Python is one of those that just has to be rolled up — the whole oeuvre as one line-item…

[This is ridiculous – maybe the shorter list would be: Top 5 movies you like, but are strangely UN-quotable. Tron, maybe? (I’m a nerd.)]

NERDS!!

No love for Stripes?

“Lee harvey, you are a madman. When you and your buddies stole that cow? And you tried to make it with that cow? I wanna party with you, cowboy.”

“OK, so does anybody here speak some English, but with difficulty?”
“Son of bitch! Shit!”

Nerds. Yep – very quotable. “Go on and say what you gotta say kid.” Sends chills down my spine.

Reminders of Dan Kendra and Real Genius in the same paragraph……….my day just moved from bad to good.

Booger is the greatest:

“Hey guys…wonder joints.”
“What the f*** is a frush?”
“I’ve been combing the junior highs all day”
“What, does she have a penis?”

Holy Grail “Silly English K-nig-its”

Airplane! “Don’t call me Shirley”, “I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue”

Apocalypse Now “I love the smell of napalm in the morning”

The Big Lebowski “The Dude abides”

Pulp Fiction “Medieval on his ass”

Blues Brothers
Holy Grail
Caddyshack
Full Metal Jacket
Airplane