Posting picks up a-plenty today as soaring temperatures around the nation bring people out of their homes and into the well-furnished jails of our nation.

Georgia. On the board for what we’re forecasting as a point for being pulled in via a “fake ID dragnet” in Athens. Warrants have been issued. Roadbloacks set up. Snipers have been posted. Whatever happens, it still can’t be as embarrassing an offseason for Athens area law enforcement as last year’s Ninjagate. It is early, though–there’s still time for them to pull a Jim Dangle and turn this thing around, dangit.

South Carolina earns no points but provides a cautionary tale of avoiding the fight and subsequent Fulmer Cup Points. From the Sporting News via Chas:

Sorensen, 20, was hit over the head with a beer bottle at a downtown Columbia restaurant Saturday as he turned to walk away from a fight with 25-year-old Christian Ernest Beyer, according to a police report.

Spurrier took his usual sympathetic tone in dealing with the incident:

“He had a little injury downtown,” coach Steve Spurrier said. “Y’all didn’t hear about it?”

We salute Sorensen for walking away from the incident. Even if you manage to stay conscious after getting hit with a beer bottle, the results aren’t pretty or compatible with leisure activities not included in “Chuck ‘The Iceman’ Liddell’s Guide to Fun.” It is compatible with this statement, however: “Tha’s redneck right therr.” We can’t imagine how many souls’ last words heard on this earth are those. We do know how many of them are wearing sleeveless t-shirts–every last single one of ‘em.