FULMER CUP SCOREBOARD: AUDITIONS
With the good people over at Sports Argument Wiki keeping score, all we lack now for a proper Fulmer Cup season is a regularly updated scoreboard. Being the jankety operation we are, we rely on our readers for chip-ins for things like food and updated graphics, which you deliver promptly and expertly whenever we ask. (Reader ‘Fesser bought us dinner last night, actually–a very nice one. We repaid him by taking him to the Clermont Lounge. No, it’s not a fair world, and we’re not helping it.)

Hospitality, or cruel joke: no one’s really sure about a visit to the Clermont.
We’re still accepting submissions for a new Fulmer Cup scoreboard, and need input. After the jump, please find reader submissions. Be gentle–they took valuable time out of their day to do this.
One:

Two:

Leave your thoughts and comments below. Danke.









1
Erik says:
The fake-light-based characters are a thing of beauty.
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:22 pm
2
drogue says:
#1- Nice touch with the Stripes v Orange Jumpsuits feature
#2- It has that Bellagio Sports Book look, and there’s no better place to watch rivalry weekend.
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:26 pm
3
Big Jon says:
If there’s going to be a Vols joke about donuts, it ought to feature Krispy Kreme’s “so good you’ll suck cock” ad campaign.
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:27 pm
4
PeterPumpkinhead says:
What if we took the beautiful scoreboard replica of # 2 and placed it at the center of the repellant orange imitation of corregated alluminum and cheesy marketing in #1
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:43 pm
5
Out of Conference says:
The fake lights are nice. The detail is superb- they even show the unlit lights. Nice. The first one has great touches as well – stripes vs orange suits, donut add, bail-bond ad, well done- both choices.
if beggars can be choosers – I wouldn’t mind someone making a widget to go on my desktop that makes a siren and flashes a cop light everytime a school scores FC points. Perhaps Orson, or the score board, could trigger the widtget going off… much like they make widgets for weather or the stock market.
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:47 pm
6
Brian says:
Ah Jesus H Christ you had to go and remind me of the Clermont Lounge.
Me in Virginia Highlands one night: “Dudes I really think if we went it would be really funny.”
Me one hour later: “I think I got an STD from sitting down.”
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:47 pm
7
Out of Conference says:
I’m guessing you can’t pay to watch Patrick Ewing get a blowjob at the Clermont Lounge?
March 23rd, 2007 at 12:52 pm
8
Signal to Noise says:
My preference is for #2, but I like ‘em both.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:04 pm
9
Dave K. says:
Agree with the suggestion of using the scoreboard of #2 wedged in between the orange/ads of #1
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:05 pm
10
Dave K. says:
By the way, I’m headed to a beautiful little cololmbian girl’s birthday party in NYC tonight, and could use some colombian cheesecake to get me pumped …if at all possible.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:07 pm
11
Raider Red says:
I like #2, can you adjust the bulbs so they resemble the scoreboard from “Family Feud”? That way you can announce “Survey says…assualt with a deadly weapon!”
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:10 pm
12
Steve says:
#1 has everything the Fulmer Cup stands for, except video of a West Virginia cornerback stealing a car after beating the shit out of his pregnant girlfriend.
#2 is more visually appealing, and for the three readers of this site that find what I just said grossly offensive there isn’t the possibility of updating #1.
I’d like to see one with a stock-ticker-type-thing of the score and, when something gets updated, a link to the news article. But I’d also like to watch Georgia Tech win the ACC next year.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:19 pm
13
PeteJayhawk says:
I like #2. The concept of #1 is OK, but the execution leaves something to be desired.
What happened to Mike or whatever the guy’s name was that handled scoring duties last year?
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:19 pm
14
ctgarric says:
The Clermont is a right of passage. For all you not living in the ATL, there is no way you can understand and no good way to explain it. It’s the only strip club that I have ever been in where NOONE is watching the strippers. But its open late and if you’ve been drinking PBR at Moes and Joes, you can continue to do so at the Clermont without any real transition.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:27 pm
15
Hook'em Tide says:
Clermont. Wow. Trauma. Pure Trauma.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:32 pm
16
RaginCajunRebel says:
I like them both, but I’m more partial to #2.
#2 just has a clear, crisp look, and a new sheen of consimante professionalism that really gives the FC a big boost.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:33 pm
17
Bottagetta says:
Someone with the photoshop skillz that pay the billz ought to be able to do something with this…
http://graphics.fansonly.com/photos/schools/tenn/galleries/05-football-season/11-12-memphis/DSC_0496-lg.jpg
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:34 pm
18
big D tide says:
i’m all about #2…..it has that certain “light bright” quality that i love
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:40 pm
19
Atlantadomer says:
Ever wonder what happened to that stripper you saw in the club back in the 70’s or 80’s, well she’s working at the Clermont. Orson, unreal reference, I mean you go from “Marketplace on NPR” last week to the Clermont this week. I believe I have met my match on psychosis, and his name is Orson.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:45 pm
20
GatorAM says:
As a lady who lives in Atlanta, I’ve always thought of the Clermont as the club “where strippers go to retire”… but alas, I’ve never actually been inside. Shame.
Good job on both, but I prefer #2. Lite-Brite, anyone?
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:46 pm
21
adam says:
i second (third) the idea of merging the two.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:47 pm
22
Dave says:
@3,
After watching the Vols piss away a 20-point lead and let the vampiric tOSU return from the dead to fuck up my basketball bracket last night, I wholeheartedly agree that “sucking dick” belongs in the same sentence as “Tennessee.”
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:48 pm
23
NDTom says:
I will be in Atlanta next week for work. I get the feeling that going there would be detrimental to my health and quite possible continued employment
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:54 pm
24
brain says:
#2 without question
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:56 pm
25
always rebellious says:
Loser with Socks has become unreadable. UNREADABLE. Obsess much?
Sorry for the threadjack.
March 23rd, 2007 at 1:56 pm
26
Steve says:
Is Blondie still there?
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:10 pm
27
RedDevilEA says:
Because no, not everyone lives in Atlanta…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clermont_Lounge
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:10 pm
28
ness says:
7
I’m guessing you can’t pay to watch Patrick Ewing get a blowjob at the Clermont Lounge?
no, but you could watch a women who looks like Patrick Ewing get turned down trying to give away free blowjobs.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:13 pm
29
stockman says:
#2 is visually appealing. #1 just has too much to remind me too often of that team in Knoxville. (run on FTL)
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:34 pm
30
Kenny says:
Number two, aside from number three, is my favorite number.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:36 pm
31
The Conscience of a Nation says:
The Clermont on Saturday nights has the best old-school funk in town, but inevitably there will be 300 people stuffed in a club with room for 75 that as far as I can tell has no air conditioning or fans. It’s very, um, authentic.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:37 pm
32
Cooler Czar says:
NDTom,
The Clermont won’t just be detrimental to your health or employment, it could ruin your whole company. It has been known to collapse entire third world counties when their denizens become scared at finding out people actually pay to go to places that are less clean and have nastier women than their homelands.
That said, I’ll probbaly be there tonight.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:40 pm
33
jfinke says:
#2 looks great.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:42 pm
34
Brian says:
I once gave a woman a dollar to have her STOP showing me her crotch. I think that explains it. pretty well.
March 23rd, 2007 at 2:46 pm
35
kleph says:
number two is great except for the fact i can hear richard dawson bellowing “SURVEY SAYS….!” every time i see it.
March 23rd, 2007 at 3:01 pm
36
Mosby says:
Good Answer! Good Answer!
March 23rd, 2007 at 3:05 pm
37
NDTom says:
Show me….. Carjacking!
March 23rd, 2007 at 3:19 pm
38
PeterPumpkinhead says:
Just as long as you don’t actually feel him kissing you on the lips when you see it kleph.
March 23rd, 2007 at 3:19 pm
39
John says:
How come ufmike22 can’t do it this year?
March 23rd, 2007 at 3:21 pm
40
PJ from NU in SF says:
I haven’t been to Atlanta in almost a decade, but I remember a late-night trip to the Clermont… hazily, but that’s probably for the best.
From my recollection, TCOAN’s description is on the money, but Ness and Brian aren’t exaggerating either. I’ll make it a point to swing by on my next trip, for memories’ sake.
March 23rd, 2007 at 3:28 pm
41
ctgarric says:
I wouldn’t worry to much about the Clermont ruining your carreer. If you happen to see someone you work with or your boss at the club, neither of you will admit it the next day.
March 23rd, 2007 at 4:09 pm
42
J.J. says:
People seem to be favoring #2, but are you guys sure the Boston P.D. won’t mistake it for a bomb and fine Orson a million dollars?
March 23rd, 2007 at 4:56 pm
43
MCab says:
Weren’t clear heels first seen at the Clermont?
March 23rd, 2007 at 7:26 pm
44
Jeff from LA says:
Great Effort #1, but I’m going to have to go with #2.
March 23rd, 2007 at 8:16 pm
45
Aaron says:
Holy shit, when did Illinois pick up 24 points?
March 23rd, 2007 at 9:02 pm
46
Holly says:
#2. Clean, classic, looks like last year’s only better. I’m threatened by change.
March 23rd, 2007 at 11:33 pm
47
rusty says:
Aaron, two U of I players got picked up for four counts of robbery per, if I remember correctly. 4 counts x 2 offenders x 3 points each = 24 total Fulmer Cup points.
March 24th, 2007 at 7:04 am
48
Oliver says:
Blondie is still there and Cathy is still running the joint. Blondie’s signature move is crushing beer cans between her cans. She also writes poetry. She bloodied a friends nose with her ta-ta’s one time too. Also saw Cee-Lo there. Probably been there too many times…
March 24th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
49
Run Up The Score says:
I swear I posted a comment earlier, but it never showed up.
Anyway, I love #2 and think the Family Feud theme needs to be embedded in the page for full effect:
Listen for yourself.
March 24th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
50
Geogre P Burdell says:
You know what sums up the Clairmont for me? A conversation I had with a long time Atlanta local, who said that not all the girls there were awful looking. There was “this new girl that’s pretty good looking. Kinda hairy though.”
Kinda hairy? You know, when its the type of person that actually frequents the Clairmont, and the qualifier “hairy” is used, that the bitch was a mountain Yeti up on the stripper pole.
March 29th, 2007 at 8:23 am