FULMER CUP UPDATE: SHOPLIFTIN' HAWGS

by Orson on Mar 19, 2007 12:34 PM EDT

A busy opening day in the Fulmer Cup Market--if this were late afternoon essential Marketplace on NPR, we'd be playing "We're In The Money" behind this piece to celebrate the uptick in activity.

Hawgz Shoplifitin' Skillz=unw00t. At least for starting defensive end Antwain Robinson, best remembered by the casual football fan for stealing a shovel pass from Chris Leak in the SEC championship game for a temporarily devastating touchdown. The alleged theft in question this time involves something from a Dillard's in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Judging from the aristocratic pose Robinson took in his mug shot, we're guessing it's a tasteful linen shirt--plum or eggshell?--and a snappy pair of lightweight wool trousers for the garden party season.

Hello, good sir. Make mine a Hendrick's and tonic, please.

Fulmer Cup score: One point, with possible bonus if we find out he was stealing anything humorous, like a Dillard's employee.

Drinkin' in Utah. Utah enters the competition in decidedly un-Mormonesque style with a pittance of a DUI charge for Ute WR Marquis Wilson. Wilson made an illegal turn, was pulled over, and then blew a 0.11 on the breathalyzer, a mere .3 above the legal limit. In Utah, 0.11 is considered legally drunk; in Bulgaria, that's just getting started. Wilson has been charged with drunk driving nonetheless, and has been suspended from the Utes indefinitely.

Fulmer Cup Score: 1 point.

P.S. If anyone wants to maintain the Fulmer Cup scoreboard, we're canvassing for volunteers. Payment will come in the form of pats on the back and the mention of your name with the phrase "hung like Reggie F'n Nelson" for the rest of your life on this blog.

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If you can send me the school/score combinations I can work something up in the next day or so.

bigpeterpump of the gmail variety.

by PeterPumpkinhead on Mar 19, 2007 12:47 PM EDT reply actions

I thought only FSU players attempted to get stuff for less than fair market value at Dillards.

See kids, you learn something new every day.

by Brewster Crew on Mar 19, 2007 12:49 PM EDT reply actions

Actually, this is an improvement in Dillard’s enforcement techniques. Usually if you try to walk out with something the security guard just beats you to death in front of your wife and child.

http://www.coopamerica.org/programs/rs/profile.cfm?id=212

by PeterPumpkinhead on Mar 19, 2007 12:57 PM EDT reply actions

I’ll certainly do it if you give me a chance. However, I have no skills with HTML or anything other that is related to computers. All I have is alot of time, given to me by a job that does not require me to any actual work. Also, I’m a liberal arts major from UF, so you know I have to be good for something.

by Matt on Mar 19, 2007 1:03 PM EDT reply actions

Here’s a thought, Orson… why don’t you solicit entries for Fulmer Cup scoreboards, post them all this Friday afternoon, and then let everyone vote for their fav-o-rite.

by PeterPumpkinhead on Mar 19, 2007 1:11 PM EDT reply actions

Capital idea!

by Orson Swindle on Mar 19, 2007 1:16 PM EDT reply actions

Orson, nice Marketplace reference, Kuy Risdoll would be sooo proud!

by Atlantadomer on Mar 19, 2007 1:26 PM EDT reply actions

Dillard’s – Symbol DDS

Last [Tick] 32.6600[ – ]
Change 0.3800
% Change 1.18%
Bid 32.6600
Bid Size 4
Ask 32.68
Ask Size 3
Open 32.42
Volume 476,954
Day High 32.7800
Day Low 32.28
Previous Close 32.28
Prev. Close Date 03/16/2007

by drogue on Mar 19, 2007 1:50 PM EDT reply actions

Juxtaposing highbrow, moneyed Marketplace on NPR with criminal activity by 18-23 year olds. I tell ya, gotta love this place.

by BeatUofA on Mar 19, 2007 2:00 PM EDT reply actions

http://sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Fulmer_Cup

We’ve been updating our chart since the beginning.

by Neodoomium on Mar 19, 2007 2:02 PM EDT reply actions

“…a mere .3 above the legal limit.”

DAAAAMN!!…However, I think 0.03 would be more appropriate.

by Aerobab on Mar 19, 2007 2:07 PM EDT reply actions

Marketplace=w00t

Kai Ryssdal, motherfucker!

by smq on Mar 19, 2007 2:37 PM EDT reply actions

What happened to the guy who did the old scoreboard?

by John on Mar 19, 2007 2:40 PM EDT reply actions

Never has any show made hearing about mostly rich people and money stuff I wouldn’t care about as much of a must-listen as Marketplace.

Kai, we salute you.

by Signal to Noise on Mar 19, 2007 2:42 PM EDT reply actions

God, it’s about time I see something positive about the Hogs – ONWARD TO FULMER CUP VICTORY!!

by Jerkwheat on Mar 19, 2007 3:03 PM EDT reply actions

Mr. Robinson should make the aquaintance of Mr. Tony Sinclaire…and they can “Tanqueray”…Hendricks is for those who like cucumbers…in a Martini? C’mon, man…

by sb on Mar 19, 2007 3:35 PM EDT reply actions

“Kai Ryssdal.”

Every day I hear his name and think the same thing. Is this business news, or B2 — The Keep on the Borderlands?

by panhandler on Mar 19, 2007 4:05 PM EDT reply actions

So, is underage drunk driving (Robinson) worth more points than over 21 drunk driving (e.g., Adam Bednarik, WfVU)? Or just the same?

Just askin’.

by rocket screen on Mar 19, 2007 4:09 PM EDT reply actions

Only in Bulgaria.

by drogue on Mar 19, 2007 4:31 PM EDT reply actions

I believe these are the standings.

1. Illinois: 24
2. Ohio U.: 8
3. Idaho: 7
4. South Carolina: 3
5. Washington: 2
5. West Virginia: 2
5. Boise State: 2
8. Tennessee: 1
8. Utah: 1
8. Arkansas: 1
8. Arizona: 1
8. Georgia: 1
8. Bowling Green: 1
8. Memphis: 1

by DE on Mar 20, 2007 1:08 AM EDT reply actions