Spring practice reports by team leading off with the Hot Hot Hottest team in the land.

Appalachian State! Not division one, sure, but they are opening with Michigan this year. Armanti Edwards has a great, pseudo-fashion-inspired name, but do not fuck with the Mountaineers’ quarterback: he made the hit of the day, leveling cornerback Justin Woazeah on a reverse. Take heed, Wolverines. Take heed.

Florida State: They have like, at least three receivers on the play. FSU’s offense revelling in having plays, a playbook, and schemes involving more than two receivers on a play.

“It’s rectangular, but you can open it up and there’s all this stuff inside,” says backup qb Xavier Lee. “And you won’t believe what the coaches want us to do at the line. It’s nutty. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen at FSU.”

Missouri’s offense: late-blooming. The Tigers’ offense done got blowed up during their practice.

No one rocks your ass like George O’Leary……who rocked it by starting with PATs in UCF’s 2007 spring debut. Fuck yeah!

Georgia may have a wide receiver. Sean Bailey, recovering from injury, has looked sound thus far, giving Georgia something they’ve lacked for a while, a real live wide receiver.

Boise’s qbs in a scrum. Boise’s looking to replace Jared Zabransky, and it’s a three-way fight for the job. Chris Petersen may just solve the whole thing by playing with three qbs in the backfield; he’s the only coach who could actually pull this off, judging from the Fiesta Bowl.

Cal’s practices are closed. And Tightwad Hill could care less, which confirms his status as a real, live Pac-10 football fan. SEC fans would be bribing their Air Force buddy who flies surveillance over Afghanistan to swing halfway around the world on taxpayers’ money to snap a couple of quick shots of that new formation they’re installing up in Knoxville.