GATORS, EMBRACE THE FLAKE.

Will someone please confirm that Rip Torn is a made-up name?

How great would it be to see Joakim hawking Golden Flake? I think we’ve identified a natural pitchman.

Joakim must be attending The Mark Madsen School of Ass-Shaking.

White folks, rejoice! There is still hope for the rest of us.

he is probably the coolest person we will ever witness in college basketball. not cool in the “just like every other guy with corn rows” type, but in the sense that there is NO ONE like him.

If dancing like that makes you cool, then I’m going to change my name to Miles Davis!

Then you’d have to turn your back on us while you danced…

This link is a little better quality and is longer, and has interviews with Donovan, Horford and Noah. But the Youtube link conveys the point quite nicely.

http://www.sportsline.com/video/player/cbssports?id=133829s

Never has there been a more punchable face in the history of sports.

Now THERE’S a topic, Y2K.

Jeff George?

Y2K put it better than I could.

I was ready with, “I haven’t seen someone this unlikeable since, well, Bill Walton.”

The actual logistics of an averaged person being able to punch Noah in the face drastically reduces his punchability. He’d have to be sitting, still.

The best part is that he’s dancing to the pep band -

I’d say that papa Yannick is the alien connection – tennis player/rock star/zany -

I’d have to say A-Rod has a punchable face, and in college football, I’d have to say Bobby Bowden. I saw this and it reminded me of my current roommate—they both are people who think they’re cool but try way too fucking hard and fail miserably. And it’s fun to laugh at them both as they try and fail.

And yeah, I’d punch that fake old fuck. Don’t lie, you would too.

You’re behind us in line, son.

I forgot about Jeff George. It’s almost like his image is coming through my TV, as if to say, “Punch me square in the nose.”

When considering face punchability, I try to ignore things such as height and weight.

Who’s that guy that plays for Boston College? Dudley? I wanna punch him in the face.

He looks like a human/chihuahua mix from some awful experiment out of “The Fly.”
Act like you’ve been there before, punk.

Bill Laimbeer will always be the most punchable, provided that kid in the background who yelled “Get him a bodybag!” in Karate Kid doesn’t qualify…

And also provided that I can run much faster than Laimbeer. That part is important.

Lou Holtz – just for having to listen to whoa is me shtick during the late 80s and early 90s.

Same comment, just without the grammar error – woe for whoa. That is all.

McPants, you’d better be able to run faster than Laimbeer, even if he isn’t wearing a Sleestak costume. He’d punch you back, just ask Larry Bird.

Jeff George? That man patented the deer-in-the-headlights look.

My nominees for most punchable face? Gary Barnett, Sweatervest, and the Notre Dame mascot.

xavier lee is hoping to “exploit” his own abilities…great

Oh yeah, Lou Holth is a good choice.

Laimbeer? As a Pistons fan from back in the day, I can’t say as he seems that punchable to me, although I bet if you punched him in the face you would be able to get a good head start on him, even if he did run faster.

P.S. As regards Noah, I’ve always felt more like kicking him in the mouth.

Actually, I think watching Magnus ver Magnusson swing Jokey Noah around and around by the hair hammer throw-style would be pretty sweet.

“ERRRRAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!”

Everybody who hates Noah would be better served by directing vitriol at Matt Walsh (who has a much more punchable face, and is certainly in the running for most punchable all-time)- in the end, Noah’s a kid having fun in college- essentially, he’s drunk on championship rings, and people out there who say they don’t have a drunken dance in their past is a step below statistics on the lying scale.

This is totally a post for tomorrow.

Dave, as a Sixers fan growing up, I can almost certainly surmise that the mere typing of my prior post likely caused Bill Laimbeer to flop violently to the ground, wherever he is, with mouth agape, vainly searching for a man in white and black to blow a whistle…

Man that’s a long sentence…

Will it be restricted to college football? Just want to know the parameters so I can start thinking seriously about this.

Listen to all the crybabies on here. The kid forgoes millions in the NBA (yeah his family is loaded blah blah) because he actually loves college basketball and endures a new taunt about his looks every 3 seconds. He’s a bit of a showboat but at least he still has a sense of humor, in addition to incredible talent, which is more than can be said for the people who hate on him.

GatorKK, your post is pure super-awesomeness….It’s like regular awesomeness, but with a snake tattoo…Only the snake is holding a sabre in its mouth, and the sabre has an imprint of an even cooler snake…

That’s the kind of super-awesomeness I’m talking about…

Quick. Somebody set that to Thriller. Or Beat It. Something. After all, I’m relatively certain that the untold story here is that Noah is Michael Jackson’s clone-gone-awry.

You be the judge.

Hey folks, it doesn’t really matter how well Noah dances…because if you asked Billy D., I bet he’d say that Horford’s better.

Can anyone somehow splice that video into the Notre Dame tailgate video? I think they’d go awesome together, like peanut butter and chocolate.

Good thing The Orgeron doesn’t coach Florida hoops. I don’t think he’d stand for that nancy dancin’.

Pants, Laimbeer is currently leading Detroit’s WNBA team to two-inch-vertical-jumping championship awesomeness.

Sorry for all the posts in a row, but my mind can only hold one thought at a time. Orson, I think we might need a “Most Punchable” bracket, don’t you?

Dave- forgot about Laimbeer and the WNBA….I should save my ire for someone like Bill Romanoski…Pretty sure even his mom would like to facepunch him…

Or maybe he fits more into a “crotchkick” category…

I’m seriously not a violent person – I’ve only punched one person in my life – and that guy “dared” me to do so – but, If I had to guess…

Kurt Rambus, Jimmy Johnson, Jake Plummer, Brian Bosworth, Nancy Kerrigan

I nominate Mack Brown for most punchable. That squinty little half-grin, staring at your chest while bent over, hands on knees, dreaming of Vince Young….Normally I’d vote for Llwllloyd Carr, but we all know he feels no pain.

You know, I’d almost like to punch JoePa in the face, not because I think he deserves it, but just to see what his reaction would be……

Any entry involving the punchification of faces should be accompanied by a speculation on possible reactions. I think it’s only fair.

While punching Noah in the face might actually improve his overall appearance, I don’t think many of you actually would if you knew some of the things he does.

Short story: my aunt works the midnight shift at Shands Hospital and he is known to show up uninvited (and sober, I might add, which is more than I can say for most college-era midnight hospital visits) with a stackful of posters and sign them for patients, kids, Pigman, etc. My brother has one of these posters, so I know it’s not a rumor. I’m just saying… that’s pretty nice.

I’m really disappointed by the commenters here.

The ‘Most Punchable’ trophy has been retired many times over, by any number of players that have “Duke” on the front of their jersey.

I second Gary Barnett. His reaction: “You hit like a girl. You’re awful.”

Noah is just breakin’ it down the way a 7ft E.T.-esque person should.

As far as a “most punchable” bracket, could we line the seeds up with the more “old school”, longer deserving punchees as the #1 seeds, and the newer propects as the lower seeded teams? Like Bobby Bowden gets a 1 or 2, and Jim Delany gets a 15 or 16.

Pretty sure JoePa would just spit out a tooth and smile at you, like Bradshaw in “Hooper”…

Damn you GatorAM.
How can I work up a good hate for the World’s Ugliest Human Being when you tell stories like that?
Didn’t someone spot him punting kittens or something? Or maybe pulling wings off flies?

My vote for Most Punchable Face? Damon Bailey. His reaction? He’d make 38 more free throws in a row. Damn him too.

just don’t get your pompoms near him and everything will be just fine……

Re#41- I was just thinking to myself that no one on Duke ever really inspired any true ire in me….then it hit me…Bobby Hurley…

I defy anyone to top that little snot…

Oops, I forgot Hurley got into a serious accident and almost was killed….Now I feel like an ass….well, moreso than usual…

Peyton Manning. Why? General Principles.

The pig-nosed little lead singer of the Dixie Chicks. And Michael Irvin. And Aaron Brooks.

Star Jones. Punch in the Face.
Burt Reynolds, old version, Punch in the Face.
Dakota Fanning. That’s right. Punch in the Face.

Pants, what about JJ Redick?

I know of a few people that channeled hate towards him, and rejoiced when he was busted for DUI.

Hmmm….Reddick never annoyed me that much, I found him to be more of a basketball launching cyborg than anything else….

I think boilerpete is onto something with Damon Bailey….think Reddick meets John McEnroe…

RedDevilEA if you want to know what JoePa’s reaction would be, scroll down a few posts and watch Ray Liotta show you justice from JoePa’s neighborhood either that or when Pesci whacks the made guy. Now go get your shinebox!

If the subject is punchable Duke players how about Wojo who was just like Hurley except that he lacked talent.

We’ve had all these Duke players mentioned and not one nomination for Christian Laetner.
 Hello? McFly?

That smug donkeyfucker Lute Olson is high on the list, but what I really want to know is if Sportstainment! creator Mark Shapiro qulifies as being a part of the sports world. I’m sure he thinks he is.

Along the lines of Damon Bailey and Bobby Hurley, how about former UCLA guard Toby (no relation) Bailey?

Keeping it in college football, nominees should include the Boz, David Boston, Todd Marinovich, every Notre Dame quarterback since Tony Rice, Ryan Leaf, and Bevo. And Dirk Koetter.

Laettner was the lesser evil when it comes to guys like Greg Newton, Cherokee Parks, Alaa Abdelnaby, and Danny Fucking Ferry. Unless of course you’re a Kentucky fan.

I’m pretty sure Bevo eloped with Chuck Norris sometime last season, so you probably don’t want to punch him.

1. kirk herbstreit. on camera. in front of 500 screaming college football fans at 10am on a saturday morning. and big n’ rich is there to laugh at kirk as he spits out his front teeth after i split him.

2. claude lemieux. those who know why are nodding their heads right now.

3. non-sports related choice: dick cheney.

He wouldn’t be my top candidate, but I’d love to sock ESPN’s Barry Melrose right in the fuckin’ mouth. Just for that ridiculous hockey hair, and those suits.

Actually I’d deck just about anyone from ESPN, particularly Stu Scott during one of his hip-hop/spoken word/ridiculous bullshit monologues.

AMERRRIKA, FUCK YEAH!!!!!

Peter. Fucking. Carroll.

The runaway bride from Atlanta that said she got abducted and really got cold feet. There. I said it. I feel better. Then I’d punch her ex-fiance for not punching her first.

Why not John Elway? What was with that stupid grin on his face?

The Olson Twins. One with a right cross, one with a spinning back fist.

My theory on Noah hatred : most of the dislike for top-level teams is really disguised envy, but of course not many people are willing to admit that, so they justify themselves by focusing their disdain and contempt on individuals. Unfortunately, you have to be a serious Grinch to work up a personal dislike for any Gator except Noah, which means that – despite being mildly obnoxious at worst – virtually all of the hate directed at Florida lands on him. (This is not an invariable rule – Duke and Notre Dame are always eminently worthy of hate, regardless of standings and players; VCU is everybody’s second-favourite team this month.)

High on my punchability list – CheatyPants McSweatervest. There’s something so insufferably smug about him – maybe a good pop on the schnoz would knock it off.

Back on topic of badly dancing 7 footers, I give you Gheorghe Muresan:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1qEBvPmI1s

Sorry bout the poor video quality, but what can you do.

In the “weighs less than I do” category, Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle.

In the “weighs more than I do” category, Rosie O’Donnell.

In the “glass eye” category, Stu Scott.

In the “really old person” category, Paterno.

In the “dude so hot he’s a threat to my manhood” category, nobody.

In the “gay rooster” category, Jimmy Claussen.

NBA—Tim Duncan
MLB—Jim Edmonds
NFL—Ben Roethlisberger
NHL—who cares

But I’d still rather punch Joey Noah in the face than everyone else on my list.

Peachy you just got nominated for a Punch in the Face for telling everyone ‘the reason you hate him is because you are jealous’

you sound like one of the MTV sweet sixteen brats who inevitably says every episode, “you just hate me because I’m beautiful”

no bit_h, we hate you because you are a miserable f’in human being.

Kevin Durant could run circles around Noah, how come no one is hating on him? kinda messes up the logic huh?

(and yes, I just referenced MTV sweet 16, pathetic, I know)

Yeah that twunt from the dixie chicks needs a right cross to shut her smug pie hole.

And Pete Caroll? Yeah, right when they put the camera in his face after shitting the bed against UCLA. He had that little boy who’s favorite toy broke face on. I would have loved to open-hand slapped him like that wrestler did to John Stossel a few years ago.

This is still a gator board, right?

Mickey fucking Andrews.

Jesus. Disappointed in all of you.

S.O.S. Repeatedly.

And a Knee to the considerable schnoz of a smirking Tubberville while gripping an enormous ear in each hand.

Non-sports winner would have to be a tie between Rosie “Disgusting Moung of Goo” O’Donnell and Donald “Creepiest Human Being Alive” Trump.

Re #72…Obviously this is a Gators board….No one’s mentioned Spurrier….Course, even as an OSU fan, I love the guy…college football just wouldn’t be the same without the Ol’ Ballcoach…

No-one is hating on Durant because Texas is a good but hardly exceptional team; that might change if he pulls a Carmelo. (Noah-hate was pretty mild before the Final Four last year.) You’ll note that my argument is general, not specific; I didn’t say you’re jealous of Florida, I said fans in general are jealous of more successful teams and transmute that feeling into distaste for individual players. It’s the natural inverse of the common “he may be a jerk, but he’s our jerk” sentiment – I don’t doubt UF fans would find Noah at least a little annoying if he played for UCLA. I freely admit to committing both types of rationalisations – who the hell hasn’t? – but I’ve rarely seen such intense loathing for an athlete who hasn’t been convicted of at least a couple of felonies.

1) Mitch Albom from the Detroit Free Press

2) Kirk Herbstreit

3) Jim Calhoun

4) non-sports related, although I am not a Pres. Bush supporter, I would really like to punch all those rioting people in South America who are protesting his Latin America tour. They are saying he’s like Hitler and a dictator and such. These jokers live in countries where people have little to no chance of changing their class/status/economic situation and they call the US president a terrorist. yeah, right in the smackers.

James, c’mon, let’s leave the little people out of this. Instead, let’s get a set of brass knuckles and beat the snot out of Chavez.

Mohammed Ali.

Re #60, I can’t believe I shook his freaking hand…

parker- WHOSE hand did you shake?

parker- WHOSE hand did you shake? please don’t say lemieux…

Two words: Mike Lupica

It wasn’t me, I was just channeling the spirit of Darren McCarty for that line….

Mike Shula. His patented " I don’t know what the hell is going on so I’ll just stare blankly at the scoreboard" look is a perfect setup for an uppercut shattering his jawbone.

1. The S.O.S. in #73 is Spurrier. Just hate to actually type out the name…

I will say that watching his press conference last year after the SC-UGA game was almost as good as getting in a clean overhand right.

BTW, Gators’ opinions of him would likely have changed a bit had that FG not been blocked late against SC.

Mitch Albom does not deserve a punch in the face. Unless the punch involves glass shards.
And honey.
And fire ants.
With syphilis.

#37, ’round these parts all non-UT fans refer to him as “Butterteeth” (due to the color of his chiclets) or “Sheriff Rosco” (due to his resemblance to actor James Best).

Oh hell yeah he deserves a punch in the face. But then he would just blink and give you the smarmy ass grin, while condescendingly putting his hand on the back of your neck and telling you what a fine team you have. Of course this is right after his team beat yours by four TDs.

I’d punch Gandhi.

why are all gator fans so happy? i mean being over zealous about your teams’ winning is one thing, but jesus christ, why haven’t you guys won a championship starting number 1 in the beginning of the year, gone undefeated never leaving that number 1 position, then winning a championship? 12-0 (in football). lrn2 be undefeated in football, win more games than any other team in a decade, and maybe then people from across the country and world will accept you. eat up your winnings because they won’t happen again in either sport for years to come. FSU>UF forever unless that happens which it wont.