EXERCISES YOU CANNOT DO, SIR/MA’AM.
Your name is Hypolite; therefore, you must play offensive line, since your name sounds like something out of 300, or perhaps a new light but wickedly strong polymer fiber used to make racing kayaks. He also plays for Colorado, so continue the 300 theme with Dan “Leonidas” Hawkins running about the place seeing if he can get a well built in the lockerroom to kick people down when he decides to really make a point emphatically.

Buffaloes! Tonight we dine…at Applebee’s!!!
This article on how wickedly strong your local offensive lineman is drives home the point in a number of ways. First, it mentions that OL Hypolite can back squat 665 pounds, best on the Colorado squad, and more weight than you care to think about putting on the frame of your car, much less your spine. It also has the Buff’s Thursday workout, which has our breakfast rising in our throats just looking at it:
* Over Head Squat 3×6
* Hang Clean 6
* Lateral Lung 3×6
* 30 Leg Ext. 3×6
* Bench Press 8
* DB Post Delt 3×6
* DB French Press 3×6
* WTD Inverted Rows 2×10
* Atomic Drop 2×30
Most of these should be self explanatory (the French press is a tricep exercise), however one definitely isn’t: the Atomic Drop. Our crack research skills (Google. What!) got us a good guess, and yippee! it involves Atlas Stones, the same 100 pound rocks the World’s Strongest Men contestants are forever lifting and dropping. Atomic Drops, we guess, are repetitions of lifting over head and dropping to the ground, done in sets of thirty.
Sometimes, this is easier typed than done, as evidenced by this guy who gets pwn3d by the stones with his kids watching.
Good for him, though. We’d crap ourselves trying to do one. Now excuse us, we have a chicken biscuit to go cough up.
P.S. Over/under on comments suggesting that the workout “doesn’t look bad:” four, we’re guessing.









1
PeterPumpkinhead says:
3 x 6 means 3 reps at 6lbs, right? Oh yeah, I could do that easy.
March 13th, 2007 at 9:35 am
2
AUgrad says:
Not on topic, but did you ever consider writing reviews for movies? I get a feeling that it will be huge success story.
Then we will write in the shade.
March 13th, 2007 at 9:39 am
3
Nick says:
Is the workout for Hawkins or the team? I mean they lost to an I-AA team.
March 13th, 2007 at 9:47 am
4
Matt says:
The strongest guy on the team “only” squats 665 lbs. Darius Reynaud a 200 lb WR is listed as having a 695 lb squat (http://www.msnsportsnet.com/content/Football-2.pdf page 23). Either they are a bunch of pansies or they need to learn the art of “fine tuning” measurable.
March 13th, 2007 at 9:50 am
5
Odell 51 says:
That is some low rep high weight workout. I think I might want to try and use it.
I could get huge! Like Montana Huge!
March 13th, 2007 at 9:53 am
6
oski says:
think this would help my ultimate frisbee game? That dude hawkins coaches intramurals right?
March 13th, 2007 at 10:00 am
7
Turf says:
The Lateral Lung 3 x 6 sounds really painful.
Definitely not suitable for smokers…
March 13th, 2007 at 10:07 am
8
HFS says:
If I ever try that Atlas Stone thing, which I won’t, I’d like a hell of a lot better spotter than the guy in that video. If that lifter decided to go ass over tea kettle with the stone landing on his chest, head or –heaven forbid– stones, there wasn’t going to be a whole lot done about it.
March 13th, 2007 at 10:21 am
9
Mike P. says:
I would have figured you guys had a post about Magnús Ver Magnússon being hired as strength & conditioning coach.
March 13th, 2007 at 10:37 am
10
Nick says:
Looks like he’s trying too hard with his back and not enough with this legs, good work by the spotter to help him out with that and you know spot him from a good safe distance so when he wiped out the spotter wouldn’t get injured.
March 13th, 2007 at 10:40 am
11
Orangeblood says:
Yes, but are they pulling 747 jumbo jets with their teeth?
March 13th, 2007 at 11:06 am
12
DHC says:
re: #1,
I believe 3×6 means three sets of six repetitions/set. Unknown on the weight but it would likely be quite heavy.
Spartans! Enjoy your breakfast, for tonight we dine in Hell!
March 13th, 2007 at 11:10 am
13
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
you dig wells, not build them
March 13th, 2007 at 11:44 am
14
JacketDan says:
My only question is why in the hell is he doing french press? He’s got this whole god’s gift to strongman routine on there and then he’s doing mother fucking french press. I he might as well add the pec dec , 17 different variations on a curl, and some calf raises to the whole thing.
#4, it’s also probably about legal squat versus not. I’m sure Mr. 200 lb WR is going down about halfway and then saying he squatted 695. Wearing squat pants vs. RAW also makes a huge difference.
March 13th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
15
Gator KK says:
Go hack up some Persians, brother.
March 13th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
16
Jonathan says:
Yes #12 that was his point
March 13th, 2007 at 3:00 pm
17
J.J. says:
Who else thought 300 sucked?
They made fun of the all-holy Xerxes.
And whoever the director was was an unholy love-child of Jerry Bruckheimer and Quentin Tarantino. That’s the only explanation for the Kill Bill style blood squirts and the CSI-style slomo zooms.
March 13th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
18
Jackwraith says:
This is where someone usually says ‘That guy has balls of solid rock!’
March 14th, 2007 at 8:20 am
19
juanmiguel says:
DB French Press means the secondary is making the coffe this morning, right?
March 14th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
20
wv tarheel says:
#14. jacket dan why are you hating on darius reynaud. he didn’t do anything to you. you should be directing your anger at pat white. he did tons of horrible things to you.
March 14th, 2007 at 8:54 pm