EXERCISES YOU CANNOT DO, SIR/MA'AM.

by Orson on Mar 13, 2007 10:21 AM EDT

Your name is Hypolite; therefore, you must play offensive line, since your name sounds like something out of 300, or perhaps a new light but wickedly strong polymer fiber used to make racing kayaks. He also plays for Colorado, so continue the 300 theme with Dan "Leonidas" Hawkins running about the place seeing if he can get a well built in the lockerroom to kick people down when he decides to really make a point emphatically.

Buffaloes! Tonight we dine...at Applebee's!!!

This article on how wickedly strong your local offensive lineman is drives home the point in a number of ways. First, it mentions that OL Hypolite can back squat 665 pounds, best on the Colorado squad, and more weight than you care to think about putting on the frame of your car, much less your spine. It also has the Buff's Thursday workout, which has our breakfast rising in our throats just looking at it:

* Over Head Squat 3x6
* Hang Clean 6
* Lateral Lung 3x6
* 30 Leg Ext. 3x6
* Bench Press 8
* DB Post Delt 3x6
* DB French Press 3x6
* WTD Inverted Rows 2x10
* Atomic Drop 2x30

Most of these should be self explanatory (the French press is a tricep exercise), however one definitely isn't: the Atomic Drop. Our crack research skills (Google. What!) got us a good guess, and yippee! it involves Atlas Stones, the same 100 pound rocks the World's Strongest Men contestants are forever lifting and dropping. Atomic Drops, we guess, are repetitions of lifting over head and dropping to the ground, done in sets of thirty.

Sometimes, this is easier typed than done, as evidenced by this guy who gets pwn3d by the stones with his kids watching.

Good for him, though. We'd crap ourselves trying to do one. Now excuse us, we have a chicken biscuit to go cough up.

P.S. Over/under on comments suggesting that the workout "doesn't look bad:" four, we're guessing.

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Comments

3 × 6 means 3 reps at 6lbs, right? Oh yeah, I could do that easy.

by PeterPumpkinhead on Mar 13, 2007 10:35 AM EDT reply actions

Not on topic, but did you ever consider writing reviews for movies? I get a feeling that it will be huge success story.

Then we will write in the shade.

by AUgrad on Mar 13, 2007 10:39 AM EDT reply actions

Is the workout for Hawkins or the team? I mean they lost to an I-AA team.

by Nick on Mar 13, 2007 10:47 AM EDT reply actions

The strongest guy on the team “only” squats 665 lbs. Darius Reynaud a 200 lb WR is listed as having a 695 lb squat (http://www.msnsportsnet.com/content/Football-2.pdf page 23). Either they are a bunch of pansies or they need to learn the art of “fine tuning” measurable.

by Matt on Mar 13, 2007 10:50 AM EDT reply actions

That is some low rep high weight workout. I think I might want to try and use it.

I could get huge! Like Montana Huge!

by Odell 51 on Mar 13, 2007 10:53 AM EDT reply actions

think this would help my ultimate frisbee game? That dude hawkins coaches intramurals right?

by oski on Mar 13, 2007 11:00 AM EDT reply actions

The Lateral Lung 3 × 6 sounds really painful.

Definitely not suitable for smokers…

by Turf on Mar 13, 2007 11:07 AM EDT reply actions

If I ever try that Atlas Stone thing, which I won’t, I’d like a hell of a lot better spotter than the guy in that video. If that lifter decided to go ass over tea kettle with the stone landing on his chest, head or ~~-heaven forbid~~- stones, there wasn’t going to be a whole lot done about it.

by HFS on Mar 13, 2007 11:21 AM EDT reply actions

I would have figured you guys had a post about Magnús Ver Magnússon being hired as strength & conditioning coach.

by Mike P. on Mar 13, 2007 11:37 AM EDT reply actions

Looks like he’s trying too hard with his back and not enough with this legs, good work by the spotter to help him out with that and you know spot him from a good safe distance so when he wiped out the spotter wouldn’t get injured.

by Nick on Mar 13, 2007 11:40 AM EDT reply actions

Yes, but are they pulling 747 jumbo jets with their teeth?

by Orangeblood on Mar 13, 2007 12:06 PM EDT reply actions

re: #1,

I believe 3×6 means three sets of six repetitions/set. Unknown on the weight but it would likely be quite heavy.

Spartans! Enjoy your breakfast, for tonight we dine in Hell!

by DHC on Mar 13, 2007 12:10 PM EDT reply actions

you dig wells, not build them

by Dr. Kenneth Noisewater on Mar 13, 2007 12:44 PM EDT reply actions

My only question is why in the hell is he doing french press? He’s got this whole god’s gift to strongman routine on there and then he’s doing mother fucking french press. I he might as well add the pec dec , 17 different variations on a curl, and some calf raises to the whole thing.

#4, it’s also probably about legal squat versus not. I’m sure Mr. 200 lb WR is going down about halfway and then saying he squatted 695. Wearing squat pants vs. RAW also makes a huge difference.

by JacketDan on Mar 13, 2007 2:24 PM EDT reply actions

Go hack up some Persians, brother.

by Gator KK on Mar 13, 2007 2:34 PM EDT reply actions

Yes #12 that was his point

by Jonathan on Mar 13, 2007 4:00 PM EDT reply actions

Who else thought 300 sucked?
They made fun of the all-holy Xerxes.
And whoever the director was was an unholy love-child of Jerry Bruckheimer and Quentin Tarantino. That’s the only explanation for the Kill Bill style blood squirts and the CSI-style slomo zooms.

by J.J. on Mar 13, 2007 6:44 PM EDT reply actions

This is where someone usually says ‘That guy has balls of solid rock!’

by Jackwraith on Mar 14, 2007 9:20 AM EDT reply actions

DB French Press means the secondary is making the coffe this morning, right?

by juanmiguel on Mar 14, 2007 5:23 PM EDT reply actions

#14. jacket dan why are you hating on darius reynaud. he didn’t do anything to you. you should be directing your anger at pat white. he did tons of horrible things to you.

by wv tarheel on Mar 14, 2007 9:54 PM EDT reply actions