VANDALS PREDICTABLY JOIN FULMER CUP.

by Orson on Mar 12, 2007 4:34 PM EDT

Three words that will always enter your team in the Fulmer Cup:

1. Pistol.

2. Whippin'.

3. Vandals.

Vandals! Run!

Three great tastes that taste great together! Add a topping of "team coached by Dennis Erickson just a few months ago" and we're feeling a blockbuster of a score coming on here. The sad, relevant facts from the still-frozen wastes of Moscow, Idaho:

Tone Taupule, a 22-year-old safety, was arrested about 4:30 a.m. in Moscow after a resident was robbed and pistol-whipped in his home...The victim told police a man was inside his apartment when he returned home and brandished a semiautomatic pistol and forced him to give him about $1,000 from a safe. The robber then allegedly hit the man with the weapon and fled...The victim picked Taupule out of a photo lineup, Duke said. Taupule was arrested at his Moscow apartment, where a search warrant produced cash, a magazine and ammunition, but no weapon, Duke said.

Taupule garnered two felony charges at his hearing: felony armed robbery and aggravated battery. We break down points accordingly:

Felony armed robbery: 3 points, since it didn't involve abductions, a gang of hundreds armed with axes, the theft of a rare and cursed work of art, or hott ladiez in body suits.

Aggravated battery: Again, 3 points because of the simple nature of the crime. He didn't make off with the Hope Diamond, or steal a gay sheep or anything so grand as that.

Bonuses: One point for invoking both memories of one of Good Fellasbetter scenes and Dennis Erickson associations with the pistol-whipping. Plus your team is named the Vandals, and in life real irony like this is rare and bears special mention. Therefore: one bonus point.

The total score for Idaho: Seven FC points. Salut!

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Comments

Three questions this article tantalizingly raises, yet fails to address:

1. What was the magazine, and why is it relevant to the investigation?

2. Why do the police already have photos of Tone on file?

3. Have Tony! and Toni! been brought in for questioning?

by Dinknflicka on Mar 12, 2007 5:00 PM EDT reply actions

Answer to question 2 – When Erickson comes in to be your coach, the police do a preemptive photo session with the team for just such an occasion as this.

by Nick on Mar 12, 2007 5:13 PM EDT reply actions

answer to question 1 – I assume it meant the ammunition holding part of the pistol (Wiki)

also, could we throw on another bonus point for this story breaking when the History channel has been running Fall of Rome/Dark ages programming all week?

by NDTom on Mar 12, 2007 5:26 PM EDT reply actions

C’mon, who doesn’t enjoy a good old fashioned pistol whippin’ once in a while? Besides, he is a former player – doesn’t that give him pistol whippin’immunity?

Also, I take issue with the number of points you gave us – being associated with the prince of dark…er, Dennis Erickson should be worth an extra 2 points.

by I pistol whipped him and I'd do it again! on Mar 12, 2007 5:26 PM EDT reply actions

Tom, that might have to happen. Like a sneering Nero, we’ll let the people decide before we give the thumbs up or down here.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 12, 2007 5:27 PM EDT reply actions

Crucify him!

Oh, sh!t. Wrong Roman Empire figure.

I say instead of giving the points, you make him drive the ex-coach’s golf cart into the volcano.

by Geaux Irish on Mar 12, 2007 5:40 PM EDT reply actions

Tom — I saw “magazine” and immediately thought “Juggs”. I don’t know whether I should feel like a moron or a pervert. I’m going to play it safe and go with both.

by Dinknflicka on Mar 12, 2007 5:47 PM EDT reply actions

Fact check -

Apparently Taupule had graduated. Can you still get Fulmer points as an alum?

Also he was a Reily get – not Erickson.

by Mr. Underhill on Mar 12, 2007 5:55 PM EDT reply actions

He’s still on the roster. However, if he graduated prior to the crime, he is NOT eligible for points.

And all Taupule needed for bonus points was an association with Erickson. Points stand until graduation is confirmed.

by Orson Swindle on Mar 12, 2007 6:04 PM EDT reply actions

I just have one question: was Erickson turned on when Tone gave him the blood stained gun to hide?

by spartymike on Mar 12, 2007 6:08 PM EDT reply actions

Jeez, this has to be the most violent crime in Montana since,

…oh, right. blush

Alliterative names rule.

by tim in tampa on Mar 12, 2007 7:00 PM EDT reply actions

There can’t be that many Samoans running around in idaho…. Should’ve been pretty easy to finger him once the victim mentioned that fact.

by Kevin on Mar 12, 2007 7:11 PM EDT reply actions

Clearly they are still emotionally scarred by Erickson’s sudden departure and are merely “acting out.” They don’t need jail, they need hugs!

by Doug on Mar 12, 2007 8:44 PM EDT reply actions

Hey. . .leave Montana out of this! It’s not our fault we have to share a border with those freaks! When will people forget about the militia and the Uni-Bomber?

Go Grizzlies!

by jeneria on Mar 12, 2007 9:04 PM EDT reply actions

Does Oregon State also get credit? Looks like he used up his eligibility in the 06 season.

http://scout.scout.com/a.z?s=205&p=8&c=1&nid=2479639

by Out of Conference on Mar 12, 2007 9:21 PM EDT reply actions

Are you sure that’s not the Visigoths in that picture?

by Jason on Mar 12, 2007 9:56 PM EDT reply actions

Hey Orson, can we get a scoreboard link to bask in the disciplinary glory?

by Alex on Mar 13, 2007 9:23 AM EDT reply actions

Try to avoid the scandals
Don’t wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The safe don’t work
’Cause the vandals took the handles

My question is more historic. Why didn’t Joseph McCarthy have that whole city disbanded during the days of McCarthyism?

by Mike P. on Mar 13, 2007 9:34 AM EDT reply actions

I think these single individuals are damaging the whole team concept behind the Fulmer Cup. He will have earned more points, assuming they stand, than most entrants will earn.

I think we need to have a separate All-American type award for anyone who can get say 5 or more FC points in a single incident or incidents. Name it after the guy from San Jose or Fresno State from last year. Good singular efforts should be rewarded and remembered.

by Vairish84 on Mar 13, 2007 9:58 AM EDT reply actions

when do we get a fulmer cup scoreboard???

by big D tide on Mar 13, 2007 10:54 AM EDT reply actions

I think we’re alright, Vairish. After all, this individual effort, while exemplary, will not give the Vandals a Fulmer Cup win. Except in the Ellis T. Jones case, it looks like it’s going to take members of the team, working together, (Marshall, Delaware, Illinois, et cetera) to bring home the cup. If there’s to be any rule, in my humble opinion, it’s that no one man may singlehandedly deliver the Fulmer Cup for his school.

by Rusty on Mar 13, 2007 11:08 AM EDT reply actions

Rusty,

Perhaps you are right. I do like the idea of HOF or AA type status for particularly good perpetrators. Kind of like retiring a jersey or something. Erickson can recall the kid he had fondly who got to 7 in a single incident. Something to inspire the team during the off season. A target for the future, Coach could say sure that was a great drinking incident, but where were the handguns, etc, now back to the weight room.

by Vairish84 on Mar 13, 2007 5:41 PM EDT reply actions