Three words that will always enter your team in the Fulmer Cup:

1. Pistol.

2. Whippin’.

3. Vandals.


Vandals! Run!

Three great tastes that taste great together! Add a topping of “team coached by Dennis Erickson just a few months ago” and we’re feeling a blockbuster of a score coming on here. The sad, relevant facts from the still-frozen wastes of Moscow, Idaho:

Tone Taupule, a 22-year-old safety, was arrested about 4:30 a.m. in Moscow after a resident was robbed and pistol-whipped in his home…The victim told police a man was inside his apartment when he returned home and brandished a semiautomatic pistol and forced him to give him about $1,000 from a safe. The robber then allegedly hit the man with the weapon and fled…The victim picked Taupule out of a photo lineup, Duke said. Taupule was arrested at his Moscow apartment, where a search warrant produced cash, a magazine and ammunition, but no weapon, Duke said.

Taupule garnered two felony charges at his hearing: felony armed robbery and aggravated battery. We break down points accordingly:

Felony armed robbery: 3 points, since it didn’t involve abductions, a gang of hundreds armed with axes, the theft of a rare and cursed work of art, or hott ladiez in body suits.

Aggravated battery: Again, 3 points because of the simple nature of the crime. He didn’t make off with the Hope Diamond, or steal a gay sheep or anything so grand as that.

Bonuses: One point for invoking both memories of one of Good Fellasbetter scenes and Dennis Erickson associations with the pistol-whipping. Plus your team is named the Vandals, and in life real irony like this is rare and bears special mention. Therefore: one bonus point.

The total score for Idaho: Seven FC points. Salut!