When the team that the whole Cup is indirectly named for makes their debut, it’s a special day–especially when they make it in true, classic Volunteer style: with alcohol.

The actual charge is relatively benign. Josh McNeil, sophomore center for the Vols who missed most of last season with an injury, picked up a citation for underage drinking and public intoxication in Knoxville. Phil Fulmer, disappointingly enough, did not write these remarks on the incident on the back of a barbecue-stained wetnap, but made them through the Tennessee office of press relations:

He has embarrassed himself and his wonderful mom and dad, and he has let this team down. He will be suspended for five practices during the spring. He will not be allowed to leave for spring break and will be required to perform community service along with internal punishment.

Harsh, we think. It makes us nostalgic for the old, kind, and much fatter Phil, not the new leaner and one presumes much hungrier Fulmerbeast.

Nevertheless: one point for the Vols, and cigarettes and alcohol for everyone!