EDSBS Live: tonight at 8:00 p.m. EST.
Call in at (310) 984-7600
or….
Listen in and chat at EDSBS Live! Remember! Punctuation=Xcitement!
The four questions, again:
1. What do you know about your team going into spring practice?
2. Better still…what don’t you know about your team going into spring?
3. What’s your offseason coping mechanism?
4. What’s a badass death?
Hear you then. –O.
Willie Tuitama, starting quarterback for the Arizona Wildcats and our “breakout player most likely to be listed on breakout player lists both this year and next year,” enters Arizona into the Fulmer Cup with a deft bit of DUI dodging Tuitama and company parlayed into a much more innocuous Minor In Possession charge.
Tuitama and company were spotted peeling out of a parking lot in a Black Tahoe last Saturday night. When the officer doing the spotting caught up with the car, it was parked, empty, and locked with its passengers standing around it. The officer requested a look-see at the two suspicious bottles on the seat visible inside the car, but with the keys mysteriously gone, the bottles could not be examined. Fast-forward two hours:
The officer met Tuitama at his car 2 1/2 hours later, where Tuitama gave the officer a 1.75-liter bottle of brandy that was one-third full and a half-full 750-milliliter bottle of Hpnotiq liqueur. The contents of both bottles were poured out and later disposed of at UAPD headquarters.
Hitting the Hp’ and the Hen’ on the highway yields Tuitama and the Wildcats one single point in the Fulmer Cup, and likely earned the UAPD one cranium-splintering hangover from the “disposal” of the contraband. Just as well for Tuitama; all the playaz for real drink Donaghy Estates Sparkling Wine now.
Ghostface Killah: strictly drinkin’ the JD, even if Robert Parker says it’s “satan’s urine after a hefty dose of asparagus.”
Brian’s got Reggie Bush in Ciara’s new video for the song “Like A Boy.”
Of course, he was supposed to be in Beyonce’s video, and they had this whole deal worked out, but he reneged at the last second, kept the money, and went with Ciara instead. Just biznazz, right?
Be careful, video directors: Reggie Bush has a track record of making last-minute decisions under pressure.
Blogtoberfest: Because we’re raving like Ahhnold.
Non-broken bones work so much better than the broken ones. Obligatory pic indicating a West Virginia story:
Steve Slaton is discovering the joys of unbroken bones in his right hand.
“I’ll be 10 times better without [the broken bone],” Slaton, a consensus All-American at tailback as a sophomore, said after an indoor practice yesterday to open the West Virginia Mountaineers’ spring workouts. “You can only do so much with one hand.”
Steve Slaton, now back with dual kung-fu grip after off-season surgery to repair a broken bone in his right hand. Dave Wannstedt will have to reiterate his advice to his Pitt defense last year to “get faster” against West Virginia if Slaton’s truly back at 100%.
Mike Garrett never, ever loses a game. His football team’s players do, however. Scott over at the Fanhouse illustrates the positive, uplifting motivational tactics used by USC AD Mike Garrett. (more…)
Tonight, EDSBS Radio reappears…
…only this time with such innovations as sound quality, a moderator for callers, and interstitial music and commercials that won’t deafen you. We’ve moved the show to the Now! Network–check the preview page here–and will have someone manning the boards for us, controlling sound quality, and exterminating all of the bugs that bedeviled the initial installment of the show.
The details:
What: EDSBS Radio
When: 8:00 p.m.–9:00 p.m. EST
Where: On the EDSBS channel at Now Live.
How: To call in? (310) 984-7600. You may also register at Now Live and participate in the live chat, where we’ll be taking comments and working them into the broadcast.
Why: Because you, like us, need to confess to the fact that you’re going to tailgate your spring practice game like the desperate, depraved person you truly are.
Who: Peter Bean of Burnt Orange Nation and Orson from this website, along with special guest Warren St. John of the New York Times and the best book ever written about college football fandom, Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer.
The five questions from last time have been whittled down to four questions. To prepare ahead of time, your study list appears below:
1. What do you know about your team going into spring practice?
2. Better still…what don’t you know about your team going into spring?
3. What’s your offseason coping mechanism?
4. What’s a badass death?
The final question has to do something with a long running debate between EDSBS attorney to the stars Weo Lee and ourselves as to what constitutes a badass death. His prime examples:
–Brad Pitt’s death in Legends of the Fall where he fights a bear.
About 10,000 Juneau residents briefly lost power Jan. 28 after a bald eagle lugging a deer head crashed into transmission lines.
“This is the story of the overly ambitious eagle who evidently found a deer head in the landfill,” said Gayle Wood, an Alaska Electric Light & Power spokeswoman. The hefty bounty apparently bogged down the eagle, which failed to clear transmission lines as it flew away from the landfill, she said. When a repair crew arrived, they found the eagle carcass with the deer head nearby.
The eagle “got a hold of a little bit more than he could handle,” Wood said.
–A hypothetical he’s been refining for years where he plays a guitar solo on top of a jet that’s just dropped a tactical nuclear weapon into a hurricane off the coast of Florida. Did we mention he’s wearing a speedo and a hockey mask, too?
These will be on the exam tonight. Prepare accordingly. And hey, they’re taking us on the network despite us bringing down the overall hotness of the operation considerably. After all, Adrianne Curry is one of the hosts on the network, and she married Peter Brady. That’s uber-hott.
We’re bringing the ass factor in the neighborhood down considerably.
When the team that the whole Cup is indirectly named for makes their debut, it’s a special day–especially when they make it in true, classic Volunteer style: with alcohol.
The actual charge is relatively benign. Josh McNeil, sophomore center for the Vols who missed most of last season with an injury, picked up a citation for underage drinking and public intoxication in Knoxville. Phil Fulmer, disappointingly enough, did not write these remarks on the incident on the back of a barbecue-stained wetnap, but made them through the Tennessee office of press relations:
He has embarrassed himself and his wonderful mom and dad, and he has let this team down. He will be suspended for five practices during the spring. He will not be allowed to leave for spring break and will be required to perform community service along with internal punishment.
Harsh, we think. It makes us nostalgic for the old, kind, and much fatter Phil, not the new leaner and one presumes much hungrier Fulmerbeast.
Nevertheless: one point for the Vols, and cigarettes and alcohol for everyone!
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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