FULMER CUP: SCRUFFY SCAMP GARCIA KEYS HIS WAY INTO YOUR HEART.
by Orson on Mar 5, 2007 11:57 AM EST
32 comments
We were so set to get preachy on Stephen Garcia, the hotshot qb recruit who committed to Steve Spurrier at South Carolina and has now made two appearances in the Fulmer Cup Standings in two weeks. He's decadent! He's disrespectful! His air of entitlement and disrespect for the law is abominable, intolerable, and indicative of all that is wrong with our worship of athletes! [/wagging finger indignant indignance]
And then, we saw his mug shot:
Look at him! He's adorable, isn't he--like a young baby Jesus, if Jesus were a car-keying, beer-pounding Scott Stapp wannabe. Just a good ole boy! Never meanin' no harm. For pete's sake, he's smiling because trouble just feels good to him, the lovable scamp.
Sure, he earns South Carolina one cheap point in the Fulmer Cup by keying some dorkass professor's car. But we need rapscallions like Garcia to keep us dreaming. While we walk the painted lines of our hyper-ordered society, he's out there keying cars, fighting cops in alleys, and reminding us what it really means to live. What you call vandalism?
He calls it a message, man...a message about life, man. You just wish you lived with an ounce of the joy juice he calls his life.
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Garcia’s setting himself a nice pace to shoot for last year’s individual record of 31.
by Geaux Irish on Mar 5, 2007 12:11 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I thought for sure the first FC item I saw today would be this: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2787273
by RedDevilEA on Mar 5, 2007 12:21 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Steve’s parents live in South Carolina. He lives…like, in the moment.
by irishoutsider on Mar 5, 2007 12:25 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Could it be any clearer that this kid is the second coming of Steve Taneyhill?
by T. Kyle King on Mar 5, 2007 12:51 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Are FC multipliers applicable for repeat offenders within the same year? Racking up a second arrest in two weeks is hardly worthy of a single FC point by my book. Seems like a case could be made for a 2x multiplier on this charge (bringing his total contribution to 4 points, instead of 3). Next week, we’ll be looking at a 3x, after he’s arrested once again for pissing in the gas-tank of the Mercedes-Benz in the courthouse parkinglot…that, non-coincidentally, belongs to the judge.
Anybody else on my bandwagon?
by Aerobab on Mar 5, 2007 12:56 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
This guy totally throws beer bottles at road signs…while driving and smoking a bowl at the same time.
by Cardiac Kids on Mar 5, 2007 1:02 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Okay, Is there a titled individual award of some sort? Like the Heisman? And who pray tell is it named after?
by Hook'em Tide on Mar 5, 2007 1:15 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
According to the linked article, I don’t think he’s officially been charged…so I don’t think that FC Points are applicable, right? Maybe I’m wrong…it is Monday.
by RaginCajunRebel on Mar 5, 2007 1:15 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I propose, if there is a Heisman type award, that it be named after Jankikowski, becuase after all…..“we have different rules for our foreign players.”
by The Stos on Mar 5, 2007 1:27 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
The Ellis T. Jones Award is for individual achievement. Check out his taser assault, looting, and confinement bonanza from last year.
by Geaux Irish on Mar 5, 2007 1:36 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Mosby, gotta get the title right. It’s the “Ellis T. Jones Memorial Award for Outstanding Individual Achievment”
by Wooderson on Mar 5, 2007 1:37 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Naming the award after Janikowski would really capture the essence of it.
Sure, someone like Fred Rouse might also be deserving, but Janikowski’s body of work spanned his entire career and his hijinks were what the Fulmer Cup is all about— minor-to-moderately-severe illegal activity which embarrasses your school, but doesn’t get you kicked off the team.
by pw on Mar 5, 2007 1:38 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Agree with #3, where’s the Zook (aka Niedermeyer) story on Illinois’ FC points?
by Geaux Irish on Mar 5, 2007 1:40 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Nevermind. Comment #15 redacted thanks now to http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=3185.
by Geaux Irish on Mar 5, 2007 1:58 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Nice baby Jesus reference, Orson. Amen. You made that post your bitch!
by Out of Conference on Mar 5, 2007 2:08 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Stephen Garcia keyed a car for your sins.
by Gator KK on Mar 5, 2007 4:03 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
#19:
We appreciate you stopping by, Mr Coulter. We’ve got some nice parting gifts for you…
by rob on Mar 5, 2007 4:38 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I think his mugshot screams ’"Too cool for school!"
by King Harvest on Mar 5, 2007 4:38 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Now Matt, the only insultt that is worth a shitt is a good insultt. Please use any variation of humor, style, and/or witt when tossing insultts aboutt. Also, make sure you spell your insultts correctly—not doing so makes you look like a dumb-shitt as well as an idiott.
by RaginCajunRebel on Mar 5, 2007 4:43 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Everybody sing along: Can You Take Me Higher?
by J.J. on Mar 5, 2007 6:18 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
In ten years I see this person as overweight with a few more chins, balding (but he will still have long hair), and living in a van down by the river. Or he could do better and drive a beat-up Camero and sell meth. Either way he should do well.
by Anonymous IV on Mar 5, 2007 6:51 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
YYou jjerks sshould"nt mmake ffun of ppeople wwho sstudder!! ggo ccocks!!
by Chris on Mar 5, 2007 7:38 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Damn if that doesn’t look like some sort of album cover. I’m talking some kind of pop/folk fusion with a mumbling yet penetrating singing style. Penetrating, huh huh . . .
by MCab on Mar 5, 2007 11:17 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Man if he rocks the mullet under the helmet ala Tanneyhill, (does the fact that I was like 8 during his days, and the facts that he’s the only non-bigtime non UF or FSU QB I can rmeber by name tell you something about him or me?) he knock up the Dean’s daughter while running White Lightning for all I care.
Hey if you guys are looking for topics, that’d be a great one, memorable QBs/players and why (not necessarily just great players) I mean for some reason some players, even if they weren’t the best are highly memorable see: Tanneyhill, lil Joe Hamilton (though he was awesome, Woody Dantzler, Doering, that giant Pooh Bear Williams guy for FSU, etc.
by Socraticsilence on Mar 5, 2007 11:22 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Further proof that you can take the boy out of Hillsborough, but blah blah blah…
Also, I’m not sure I like where the detention center photog is headed with this latest series. His/her earlier work with Blake Mitchell was edgy and bold. The Garcia set seems lazy and forced. I want my villains scowling and bleached, not cute and huggable.
by Dinknflicka on Mar 6, 2007 12:44 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Aww, he kind of looks like Johnny Depp’s doughier, emo-listening, too-much-of-a-wuss-to-really-be-successful-with-the-ladies-but-good-at-picking-up-big-bro’s-sloppy-seconds little brother.
by Doug on Mar 6, 2007 8:46 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
#19, short, concise, but lacking in the pure essence required by this board… please take your time, think through your reply and replace your previous comment with one more pithy and entertaining…
by sb on Mar 6, 2007 12:22 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
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