WELCOME TO THE SI SWIMSUIT PARTY! GAMMA GLOBULIN SHOOTERS FOR EVERYONE!

Elective surgery = elective is a choice … seems logical.

Next Jenn will explain that we should put our trash in the trash can, she can’t stress that enough.

ALMOST felt sorry for her till I heard this line-“($11000) Boobs were way cheaper than a car, by the way.”

My mom overheard me listening to her soliloquoy. Get on your knees, b/c Leila (my mom) has spoken:

“Too much bull, not enough essence. (goes on to impersonate some cackling South American bird)”

When I clicked on the link, I thought it would describe how Puck from the Real World gave everybody the Hep.

“alas”

Tagged perfectly.

YOU may not think it makes you shallow, Jenn. We know differently.

Idunno. She actually came across as a lot more intelligent in that video than I was expecting.

That said, I have to ask whether getting boob implants was really the “best” decision she ever made. I mean, if she went back through her life and really tried, I bet she could come up with a decision that might be a little better/more significant than that. Joining up with SI.com? Going to FSU instead of immediately running off to Hollywood? Buying a Volvo instead of a Chevy? I mean, don’t sell yourself short.

where do you find a video like this?

It’s just as well she didn’t get the implants to boost her self-esteem, because it doesn’t seem to have worked.

Jenn, please get off the bitter bus. Your boyfriend broke up with you a long time ago. Get over it. Everyone has break ups.

By the way, Jenn, that multiple personality thing you’ve got going on (“Jenn Sterger” vs. “Jenn the Cowgirl”), really, that won’t mess you up mentally or emotionally later in life. No, really, you’ll be just fine.

Twit.

Did someone pull a Tyler Durden and pee in the gumbo?

Another delightful example of the fact that no matter how hard you try, you can’t fix crazy.

11 fucking grand for the overinflated basketball look?

Oh wait, we shouldn’t knock-er. Hey-o!!!!!

I’d still hit it. But I think I’d make sure to “forget” to call afterwards for #12’s reason.

Ah, the Jenn strikes again…reminds me of the fractured logic a married woman once used in explaining to me why having sex with a non- spouse for procreation was not adultery while having sex with the same non-spouse for recreation was adultery…I refused her offer, but for reasons other than the sex…

Gotta admit though, she certainly is entertaining in a “car wreck” sort of way…hard not to look as you go past, but you’re sure glad you’re not stopped.

#11
You don’t wanna know what’s in the Clam Chowder.

“I didn’t have self esteem issues, I just wanted them.” Jenn Sterger

I don’t get it. When does she take her top off?

where do you find a video like this?

Never heard of YouTube, bub?

I’m at work, so I can’t watch this with sound. After watching this five times, four of them looking for glimpses of the stuffed baseballs in that tiny bebe top, I decided to only watch her eyes.

This woman is lost.
Maybe she should try Harri Krishner.

If it’s gonna be THAT kinda party, then I’m gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!

This blog is so funny! Not only the content but the responses are hilarious. I thought I had some wit but I am a hack compared to the brilliance of EDSBS.

By the way, I lived in Jacksonville for a few years which only served to stoke the flames of hatred I had for the Gators and their Middleburg minions but this blog has doused that animosity into a smoldering pile during the off season.

Hey Lifelong…go easy on the Middleburg/Jacksonville comments. Alot of the wit you see here percolated in just those same steamy, sun drenched pine-barrens. Besides, we switched the morning aroma of paper mills for the wind-dependent whiff of roasting coffee…an upgrade in anyone’s book.

Oh, and you can keep those smoldering piles elsewhere, thankyou.

#7. She comes off as far from intelligent. Articulate, yes; intelligent, no freaking way.

I just hope she passes that correspondence sourse this Summer, so I can tour the value of a degree from FreeShoeU

Articulate?!!! Arrrr-fucking-ticulate? Count the number of times she says “like” during her “speech”.

She reminds me of the “drunk girl at the party” from Family Guy. “This song is about MEEEE”, she cries, moments before vomitting all over herself and passing out in a violent, horrific heap atop her tears and the stereo. Poor dove.

Okay, I think we’ve made some great progress today, but our time is up now, Jenn, so just make sure you leave your check with the receptionist. Don’t forget to take your pills; I know we’ve had some issues with that lately. Same time next week? Great…

so, if she’s got $11k on her chest……….i’m thinking there’s got to be a ‘money shot’ joke there somewhere…..

Wait, I’m confused…

Was that really supposed to be a motivational speech?

Because the only motivation I got from it was to go Google “Jenn Sterger” and “Playboy”.

Again.

This is why ball gags were invented.

Can Jen’s Dad pay for a PR person? What a Maroon!

“I dig my tits. Best investment I ever made! And f*ck all you tools trying to use me for empowering my tits. "

I, too, feel the pain of having too many people want to be my friend….

heavy is the crown, jenn, heavy is the crown.

How can she say she didn’t get them for self-esteem issues when she had just said “If they give me more confidence, then that’s fine!”
HYPO…..CRIT……E

Upon further review (with sound):

I was waiting for the part where she yanks out a picture of the pope from her clevage and says “This is the real enemy.”

Either that or yanking out a picture of her old boyfriend and asking where he is, so she can find closure on the relationship, with stabbing knifes.

I can’t hear the video at work so can somebody explain to me what Soleil Moon Frye is speaking about?

The jist of the video dialogue:

You and your friend are at a bar, and see a blonde and a burnette sitting alone. Your buddy calls dibs on the blonde, but both are acceptably railable. The blonde is the fun happy outgoing girl of the two, the burnette is the one with major self-esteem and indenity issues. She talks about her past boyfriend with enough hurt scorn to make that plastic knife looks dangerous, then mentions her bewbies are enhanced with the money she set aside for a car.

Your friend is having a blast, you however are watching a living train wreck, hoping you can bang her tonight, and grow a full beard and mustache tomarrow morning as you sneak out of her place.

That’s the jist of the dialogue.

One question. If dating is not an option, what is an option? 11K on a pair, there has to be options.

YouTube ruins yet another fantasy – I loved looking at the “Cowgirl” pictures, but this chick who seems to have an answer for everything is just annoying.

Oh yeah, exactly how did she pony up that 11K? Or were they financed and then paid off after the Playboy or Maxim spread?

If that’s the case, would it be more accurate to say, these boobs paid for themselves?

It’s kind of like my college education, I didn’t pay cash up front, I took out a loan, worked my ass off for 5 years, landed a sweet gig and it paid for my education, hence my education paid for itself. I figured an FSU grad would grasp that concept.

You don’t know many FSU grads, do ya?

How did she pay for them? Did she get a loan? Loved to see how she explained that to the loan officer. Wait, no I don’t . . .

“How about going to FSU instead of immediately running off to Hollywood?”
I don’t think she’s really Hollywood material.
San Fernando Valley is more like it..