WELCOME TO THE SI SWIMSUIT PARTY! GAMMA GLOBULIN SHOOTERS FOR EVERYONE!
The SI Swimsuit Party this year came with a very special extra parting gift: a possible exposure to Hep A. We realized there were going to be cuts at CNNSI…but really, there’s far easier ways to do it. Like Sarin gas, for example. That shit works. (HT: RCR.)
Commenter Ragin Cajun Rebel points out the connection between Jenn Sterger being hired to write for SI On Campus and the Hep A exposure, but we actually think Sterger’s blameless here. She’s too busy giving thinly veiled public glimpses into her fractured psyche motivational speeches to thrilled on-campus audiences nationwide.
I paid for these boobs. Me. Not dad. Well, there’s one to grow on.
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41
“How about going to FSU instead of immediately running off to Hollywood?”
I don’t think she’s really Hollywood material.
San Fernando Valley is more like it..
Comment by Hawkeye Dan — March 3, 2007 @ 9:34 pm
40
How did she pay for them? Did she get a loan? Loved to see how she explained that to the loan officer. Wait, no I don’t . . .
Comment by MCab — March 3, 2007 @ 12:36 am
39
You don’t know many FSU grads, do ya?
Comment by jason — March 2, 2007 @ 7:46 pm
38
One question. If dating is not an option, what is an option? 11K on a pair, there has to be options.
YouTube ruins yet another fantasy - I loved looking at the “Cowgirl” pictures, but this chick who seems to have an answer for everything is just annoying.
Oh yeah, exactly how did she pony up that 11K? Or were they financed and then paid off after the Playboy or Maxim spread?
If that’s the case, would it be more accurate to say, these boobs paid for themselves?
It’s kind of like my college education, I didn’t pay cash up front, I took out a loan, worked my ass off for 5 years, landed a sweet gig and it paid for my education, hence my education paid for itself. I figured an FSU grad would grasp that concept.
Comment by tOSUBuckeyes — March 1, 2007 @ 7:42 pm
37
The jist of the video dialogue:
You and your friend are at a bar, and see a blonde and a burnette sitting alone. Your buddy calls dibs on the blonde, but both are acceptably railable. The blonde is the fun happy outgoing girl of the two, the burnette is the one with major self-esteem and indenity issues. She talks about her past boyfriend with enough hurt scorn to make that plastic knife looks dangerous, then mentions her bewbies are enhanced with the money she set aside for a car.
Your friend is having a blast, you however are watching a living train wreck, hoping you can bang her tonight, and grow a full beard and mustache tomarrow morning as you sneak out of her place.
That’s the jist of the dialogue.
Comment by the walrus — March 1, 2007 @ 12:06 pm
36
I can’t hear the video at work so can somebody explain to me what Soleil Moon Frye is speaking about?
Comment by GamecockTony — March 1, 2007 @ 11:37 am
35
Upon further review (with sound):
I was waiting for the part where she yanks out a picture of the pope from her clevage and says “This is the real enemy.”
Either that or yanking out a picture of her old boyfriend and asking where he is, so she can find closure on the relationship, with stabbing knifes.
Comment by the walrus — March 1, 2007 @ 8:29 am
34
How can she say she didn’t get them for self-esteem issues when she had just said “If they give me more confidence, then that’s fine!”
HYPO…..CRIT……E
Comment by Hook'em Tide — March 1, 2007 @ 1:07 am
33
I, too, feel the pain of having too many people want to be my friend….
heavy is the crown, jenn, heavy is the crown.
Comment by Kecalf Bailey — February 28, 2007 @ 9:20 pm
32
“I dig my tits. Best investment I ever made! And f*ck all you tools trying to use me for empowering my tits. “
Comment by Matt — February 28, 2007 @ 8:58 pm
31
Can Jen’s Dad pay for a PR person? What a Maroon!
Comment by Matt — February 28, 2007 @ 8:39 pm
30
This is why ball gags were invented.
Comment by danh — February 28, 2007 @ 8:37 pm
29
Wait, I’m confused…
Was that really supposed to be a motivational speech?
Because the only motivation I got from it was to go Google “Jenn Sterger” and “Playboy”.
Again.
Comment by One More Dying Quail — February 28, 2007 @ 7:53 pm
28
so, if she’s got $11k on her chest……….i’m thinking there’s got to be a ‘money shot’ joke there somewhere…..
Comment by Bill — February 28, 2007 @ 7:48 pm
27
Okay, I think we’ve made some *great* progress today, but our time is up now, Jenn, so just make sure you leave your check with the receptionist. Don’t forget to take your pills; I know we’ve had some issues with that lately. Same time next week? Great…
Comment by AllWhoYonder — February 28, 2007 @ 5:13 pm
26
Articulate?!!! Arrrr-fucking-ticulate? Count the number of times she says “like” during her “speech”.
She reminds me of the “drunk girl at the party” from Family Guy. “This song is about MEEEE”, she cries, moments before vomitting all over herself and passing out in a violent, horrific heap atop her tears and the stereo. Poor dove.
Comment by CH — February 28, 2007 @ 5:08 pm