CHRYST REMAINS WITH WISCONSIN. ALLELUIA!
Wisconsin offensive coordinator Paul Chryst, architect of one of the Big Ten’s most powerful and righteous offenses, will remain with the Badgers after a brief flirtation with the Dallas Cowboys.
Badgers head coach Bret Bielema said one of the following quotes regarding Chryst’s anticipated and much-welcomed return. Pick the right quote, and win an EDSBS prize!*
“We love him. Unconditionally. We think the guy walks on water.”
“He does the work of…well, not two people. It’s more like he’s three guys wrapped up in one for us.”
“If he left, we were going to blame the usual suspects. By that, I mean the Jews, of course.”
“”I’m very pleased Paul will be staying with our program,” Badgers coach Bret Bielema said in a statement. “It’s a testament to all he has done here that an organization like the Cowboys would be interested in him.”
“Chryst working for the Cowboys? Did you see what God did to Tony Romo? No way he’s working for them.”
Wisconsin: Chryst returning. Repent, heathens.
*The official EDSBS Esteem and Respect Prize. Cash value? Zero or less.
Loading ...
1
Murphy says:
….so Chryst walks up to the hotel desk, lays 3 nails down on the counter, and asks the clerk, “Can you put me up for the night?”
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:45 pm
2
Brew(ster) Crew says:
Poor guy can’t get a real job to save his life. First he gets turned down for the best job available this year without even an interview, even though his dad is a good friend of Joel Maturi. Now he can’t get a gig with the Cowboys. He’ll just have to go back and put in another year with the inbred alcoholics and fat chicks in Madison. But on the bright side, he should be cutting time out from his stay in Purgatory.
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:48 pm
3
Miller says:
I’ll go with this one, Orson, it’s got just the right amount of innocuous coach-speak in it:
“”I’m very pleased Paul will be staying with our program,” Badgers coach Bret Bielema said in a statement. “It’s a testament to all he has done here that an organization like the Cowboys would be interested in him.”
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:49 pm
4
hookem76 says:
Wow…..I think the devil just laughed so hard he farted out another Bowden.
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:52 pm
5
Orson Swindle says:
Correct, Miller! You win the EDSBS esteem package.
+1, hookem.
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:54 pm
6
DevilGrad says:
If a Chryst walks on water, it would have to be Paul, because his brother Rick hasn’t been doing so well lately. (My latest fulminations at the link below.)
http://www.miamihawktalk.com/home/news/story/4514/
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:54 pm
7
Hook'em Tide says:
#1, I bet you’ve been waiting for a chance to use that joke when you wouldn’t be faced w/ awkward silence and judgmental stares. By the way, you are going to hell.
February 22nd, 2007 at 4:10 pm
8
Orson Swindle says:
(see tag “see: hell”)
February 22nd, 2007 at 4:14 pm
9
socalisrish says:
of course Wisconsin is happy to have Chryst back. The guy can do no wrong…
February 22nd, 2007 at 4:26 pm
10
socalirish says:
of course Wisconsin is happy to have Chryst back. The guy can do no wrong…
February 22nd, 2007 at 4:26 pm
11
NDTom says:
The Cowboys were pretty seriously considering him, but they felt that he was too hung up on crossing patterns.
February 22nd, 2007 at 4:33 pm
12
Murphy says:
Any opportunity to use a stolen joke where puns are available is a good opportunity. And, for the record, blasphemy is a victimless crime.
February 22nd, 2007 at 5:11 pm
13
lumpy says:
from #2: “But on the bright side, he should be cutting time out from his stay in Purgatory.”
Actually, the $300,000 next year is probably the bright side. See you November 17, asweepay
February 22nd, 2007 at 5:30 pm
14
RaginCajunRebel says:
ND Tom–wow. Just wow. I mean seriously…wow. I mean crucify me, but I think that was side-splitting humor right there.
February 22nd, 2007 at 6:03 pm