CHRYST REMAINS WITH WISCONSIN. ALLELUIA!
by Orson on Feb 22, 2007 3:27 PM EST
Email
PrintWisconsin offensive coordinator Paul Chryst, architect of one of the Big Ten's most powerful and righteous offenses, will remain with the Badgers after a brief flirtation with the Dallas Cowboys.
Badgers head coach Bret Bielema said one of the following quotes regarding Chryst's anticipated and much-welcomed return. Pick the right quote, and win an EDSBS prize!*
"We love him. Unconditionally. We think the guy walks on water."
"He does the work of...well, not two people. It's more like he's three guys wrapped up in one for us."
"If he left, we were going to blame the usual suspects. By that, I mean the Jews, of course."
""I'm very pleased Paul will be staying with our program," Badgers coach Bret Bielema said in a statement. "It's a testament to all he has done here that an organization like the Cowboys would be interested in him."
"Chryst working for the Cowboys? Did you see what God did to Tony Romo? No way he's working for them."
Wisconsin: Chryst returning. Repent, heathens.
*The official EDSBS Esteem and Respect Prize. Cash value? Zero or less.
14 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
….so Chryst walks up to the hotel desk, lays 3 nails down on the counter, and asks the clerk, “Can you put me up for the night?”
by Murphy on Feb 22, 2007 3:45 PM EST reply actions
Poor guy can’t get a real job to save his life. First he gets turned down for the best job available this year without even an interview, even though his dad is a good friend of Joel Maturi. Now he can’t get a gig with the Cowboys. He’ll just have to go back and put in another year with the inbred alcoholics and fat chicks in Madison. But on the bright side, he should be cutting time out from his stay in Purgatory.
by Brew(ster) Crew on Feb 22, 2007 3:48 PM EST reply actions
I’ll go with this one, Orson, it’s got just the right amount of innocuous coach-speak in it:
""I’m very pleased Paul will be staying with our program," Badgers coach Bret Bielema said in a statement. "It’s a testament to all he has done here that an organization like the Cowboys would be interested in him."
by Miller on Feb 22, 2007 3:49 PM EST reply actions
Wow…..I think the devil just laughed so hard he farted out another Bowden.
by hookem76 on Feb 22, 2007 3:52 PM EST reply actions
Correct, Miller! You win the EDSBS esteem package.
+1, hookem.
by Orson Swindle on Feb 22, 2007 3:54 PM EST reply actions
If a Chryst walks on water, it would have to be Paul, because his brother Rick hasn’t been doing so well lately. (My latest fulminations at the link below.)
by DevilGrad on Feb 22, 2007 3:54 PM EST reply actions
#1, I bet you’ve been waiting for a chance to use that joke when you wouldn’t be faced w/ awkward silence and judgmental stares. By the way, you are going to hell.
by Hook'em Tide on Feb 22, 2007 4:10 PM EST reply actions
of course Wisconsin is happy to have Chryst back. The guy can do no wrong…
by socalisrish on Feb 22, 2007 4:26 PM EST reply actions
of course Wisconsin is happy to have Chryst back. The guy can do no wrong…
by socalirish on Feb 22, 2007 4:26 PM EST reply actions
The Cowboys were pretty seriously considering him, but they felt that he was too hung up on crossing patterns.
by NDTom on Feb 22, 2007 4:33 PM EST reply actions
Any opportunity to use a stolen joke where puns are available is a good opportunity. And, for the record, blasphemy is a victimless crime.
by Murphy on Feb 22, 2007 5:11 PM EST reply actions
from #2: “But on the bright side, he should be cutting time out from his stay in Purgatory.”
Actually, the $300,000 next year is probably the bright side. See you November 17, asweepay
by lumpy on Feb 22, 2007 5:30 PM EST reply actions
ND Tom—wow. Just wow. I mean seriously…wow. I mean crucify me, but I think that was side-splitting humor right there.
by RaginCajunRebel on Feb 22, 2007 6:03 PM EST reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
