BLOGTOBERFEST: BELATED BOLUS EDITION
It’s been busy at the ferret ranch this week. Pardons for the lateness.
And in conclusion–whose remarks you may find in the 458 page addendum… A happy salute to T. Kyle at Dawg Sports, who crossed the year mark at his new blog digs. As college football’s most verbose blogger, we found his 206 word post on the topic a bit short. Despite his unusual restraint, we salute him with his favorite slice of cheesecake, the only cast member of Sex and the City with proper behind: Kristin Davis.

Badonkadonk is too strong. Serviceable hiney, perhaps?
We’re very concerned about academics…and a fifteenth game. The Wiz says Jim Delany, whose online, bitch-o-cratic broadside against the SEC started much online fooferaw, is among those in the Big Ten looking into extending the regular season into December. For academic purposes only, we’re sure.

Delany, seen here saying something about academic integrity.
Al Groh-ll bounce….ahhhhhh SKATE! Ian, late of Sexy Results and one of the five funniest writers on the planet when not lawyering, reminds us that spring is the most bittersweet of times for the UVA fan: a crap season finished, yet a disproportionate number of Cavaliers going in the draft. Ah, for the pleasure of being called a “homeless man’s Brian Leonard.”
Offseason Coping Technique #35767: Compulsion. One More Dying Quail is playing their way through a mock playoff and documenting every last thumbstroke of the affair. Don’t act like you did this and just didn’t write it down. We see that Burt’s Bees lip gloss, too. Don’t try and tell us it’s “manly lip balm for fishermen and stuff.” It’s lip gloss, and no amount of denial will change that.
Brian Stouffer, Court Artist. Brian’s got the best summary of what happened at the Charlie Weis mistrial, and it’s splashproof monitor-safe only.
Your flag football game will not be this cool. We’re thinking of starting a flag football league, but are intimidated by our local competition in the Atlanta area. If they’re playing this song during the whole thing, we’ll be too busy walking it out and doing the Bankhead Bounce to run our gunknife offense effectively.












1
inre: HTRB’s courtroom sketch.
an attorney i once knew in louisiana told me that it was important to get as many good looking women on the jury of a trial you know are going to lose in order to have something pleasant to look at every day as you get your ass handed to you by the prosecution.
Comment by kleph — February 22, 2007 @ 11:14 am
2
During the Horseface discussion yesterday I almost threw in a comment which is even more relevant now. To wit:
What the hell is it with women thinking SJP is attractive? She is a damned horseface and marrying Ferris Bueller does not mitigate or rehabilitate this fact in the least. In fact, it kinda makes me like Ferris a little bit less. I have a female friend who WORSHIPS Carrie Bradshaw, and if I so much as make a peep about Charlotte’s obviously more-stunning yuppie qualities, she starts ranting about “Kristin Davis has cankles!”
Well cankle me up then, G.D. it. I love dem sorority girls, wit da little noses.
Comment by panhandler — February 22, 2007 @ 11:34 am
3
I heard Kristin Davis rinses her mouth with bleach.
Comment by Broom — February 22, 2007 @ 11:46 am
4
Bolus is one of the funniest words in the English language. A buddy of mine once showed me some technical specs of the International Space Station in which there were parameters for the “bolus size” that the space toilets had to be able to accomodate. I’ll never be able to see “bolus” again without thinking “huge turd”.
Comment by Kahuna — February 22, 2007 @ 11:53 am
5
“…we’ll be too busy walking it out and doing the Bankhead Bounce to run our gunknife offense effectively. “
How are you going to walk it out, exactly? I’d suggest the Devil Walk.
(God, I can’t get enough of that song/video!)
Comment by Aerobab — February 22, 2007 @ 11:59 am
6
Sarah Jessica Parker has a face?
Comment by Murphy — February 22, 2007 @ 12:00 pm
7
“What the hell is it with women thinking SJP is attractive?”
Panhandler - define attractive - do you mean like Harris’s wife’s attraction for latino honeys, or do they just find her appearance pleasant?
I could tolerate that first form of attraction for horse-face SJP to some degree.
Comment by Out of Conference — February 22, 2007 @ 12:09 pm
8
The Purple Ribbon All-Stars have nothing on Snoop and Tha Eastsidaz…
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2454640
Comment by BDoc — February 22, 2007 @ 12:13 pm
9
Speaking of offseason doldrums, a few words for the good folks at Bravo TV: Top Chef and Top Design are not Not NOT acceptable substitutes for Project Runway.
Hold me, Tim Gunn. But keep your hands where I can see them.
Comment by Ted Ginn did Everythin' — February 22, 2007 @ 12:37 pm
10
#2 nice Steve Dallas reference (actually i think it is a reference to when Bloom County sought out “scab” cartoon characters during the 1987 NFL strike…)
uh-oh. my nerd colors are showing, must get back to ass-related discussion….farts are funny
(i do miss Bloom County though. the newish “opus” sunday strip eats nineteen kinds of ass, none of them in the good way)
Comment by jon — February 22, 2007 @ 12:43 pm
11
Kristin Davis was unequivocally the most attractive woman on that show, but she also happened to have the most annoying personality that made her scenes practically insufferable to watch with the volume on. I was roped into watching that show with my girlfriend at the time, and she always wondered why I hardly bitched about that.
And oh yeah- I almost forgot… Jim Delaney is an unmitigated asshole. Apparently he is not only arithmetically challenged (big 11?), but also suffers from the disability commonly known as being a “hypocritical jackass.” I’m sure the addition of games and extending the schedule into December has EVERYTHING to do with protecting the academic integrity of the Big “10″ and nothing to do with competing with the SEC, the conference full of poor, backward rednecks not good enough for admission into the northern schools. Go to hell~
Comment by rjsplow — February 22, 2007 @ 1:04 pm
12
Also in re: HTRB’s courtroom sketch -
I’ve got a Jessica Rabit crush on juror 6 myself
Comment by Out of Conference — February 22, 2007 @ 1:39 pm
13
“Bitch-o-cratic” has got to be one of the top five neologisms of 2007.
Comment by DevilGrad — February 22, 2007 @ 1:39 pm
14
I would like to propose a motion to rename all hispanic cheesecake to “Flan.”
Comment by Brian — February 22, 2007 @ 1:40 pm
15
Jon, I went to law school because of Steve Dallas and Dan Fielding.
Comment by panhandler — February 22, 2007 @ 1:48 pm
16
Any chance of Ian updating his classic post comparing football teams to rappers? It is still pretty accurate two seasons later (do you know how long that is in teen years?) and has proven to be prophetic in some points.
And thanks for that YouTube post, I fuckin’ love that song.
Comment by AUAlum — February 22, 2007 @ 2:01 pm
17
SJP = horseface?
The Onion had a great fake magazine cover related to this topic:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54857
Comment by MM — February 22, 2007 @ 2:16 pm
18
No, seriously. SJP has a face?
Comment by Murphy — February 22, 2007 @ 3:17 pm
19
If you’re old enough to remember SJP on Square Pegs (never mind dorky enough to admit it), then you know that there is nothing that will make her teh hottness.
Comment by DC Trojan — February 22, 2007 @ 3:39 pm
20
Kristen Davis character on that show is exactly the kind of girl I loved in high school and college - prim and proper but with a dark desire to be a nasty girl. And as I yell at my wife everytime that show is on now, “Who didn’t know the redhead was a lesbian?”
Comment by Atlantadomer — February 22, 2007 @ 4:13 pm
21
SJP and Delaney are related?
Comment by Kecalf Bailey — February 22, 2007 @ 4:21 pm
22
I don’t know how much Sex in the City I watched (Shut up!) waiting for Kristin Davis to finally join her co-stars (with the exception of Mrs. Ed, of course) in flashing the nips. She finally did it, but boy was it anticlimactic.
Comment by Gator KK — February 22, 2007 @ 5:08 pm
23
– “Sex and the City” is a blight on America.
– SJP was last (remotely) attractive in “L.A. Story.”
– Flan!
Comment by Flop — February 22, 2007 @ 8:51 pm
24
Flop,
Oh… yeah. She was Steve Martin’s first Shopgirl, wasn’t she? And I did like her in that. SaNdEe*, right?
“I’m hot from running now!”
Comment by Panhandler — February 22, 2007 @ 9:39 pm