BLOGTOBERFEST: BELATED BOLUS EDITION

inre: HTRB’s courtroom sketch.

an attorney i once knew in louisiana told me that it was important to get as many good looking women on the jury of a trial you know are going to lose in order to have something pleasant to look at every day as you get your ass handed to you by the prosecution.

During the Horseface discussion yesterday I almost threw in a comment which is even more relevant now. To wit:

What the hell is it with women thinking SJP is attractive? She is a damned horseface and marrying Ferris Bueller does not mitigate or rehabilitate this fact in the least. In fact, it kinda makes me like Ferris a little bit less. I have a female friend who WORSHIPS Carrie Bradshaw, and if I so much as make a peep about Charlotte’s obviously more-stunning yuppie qualities, she starts ranting about “Kristin Davis has cankles!”

Well cankle me up then, G.D. it. I love dem sorority girls, wit da little noses.

I heard Kristin Davis rinses her mouth with bleach.

Bolus is one of the funniest words in the English language. A buddy of mine once showed me some technical specs of the International Space Station in which there were parameters for the “bolus size” that the space toilets had to be able to accomodate. I’ll never be able to see “bolus” again without thinking “huge turd”.

"…we’ll be too busy walking it out and doing the Bankhead Bounce to run our gunknife offense effectively. "

How are you going to walk it out, exactly? I’d suggest the Devil Walk.

(God, I can’t get enough of that song/video!)

Sarah Jessica Parker has a face?

“What the hell is it with women thinking SJP is attractive?”
Panhandler – define attractive – do you mean like Harris’s wife’s attraction for latino honeys, or do they just find her appearance pleasant?
I could tolerate that first form of attraction for horse-face SJP to some degree.

The Purple Ribbon All-Stars have nothing on Snoop and Tha Eastsidaz…

http://www.ifilm.com/video/2454640

Speaking of offseason doldrums, a few words for the good folks at Bravo TV: Top Chef and Top Design are not Not NOT acceptable substitutes for Project Runway.

Hold me, Tim Gunn. But keep your hands where I can see them.

1. nice Steve Dallas reference (actually i think it is a reference to when Bloom County sought out “scab” cartoon characters during the 1987 NFL strike…)

uh-oh. my nerd colors are showing, must get back to ass-related discussion….farts are funny

(i do miss Bloom County though. the newish “opus” sunday strip eats nineteen kinds of ass, none of them in the good way)

Kristin Davis was unequivocally the most attractive woman on that show, but she also happened to have the most annoying personality that made her scenes practically insufferable to watch with the volume on. I was roped into watching that show with my girlfriend at the time, and she always wondered why I hardly bitched about that.
And oh yeah- I almost forgot… Jim Delaney is an unmitigated asshole. Apparently he is not only arithmetically challenged (big 11?), but also suffers from the disability commonly known as being a “hypocritical jackass.” I’m sure the addition of games and extending the schedule into December has EVERYTHING to do with protecting the academic integrity of the Big “10” and nothing to do with competing with the SEC, the conference full of poor, backward rednecks not good enough for admission into the northern schools. Go to hell~

Also in re: HTRB’s courtroom sketch -
I’ve got a Jessica Rabit crush on juror 6 myself

“Bitch-o-cratic” has got to be one of the top five neologisms of 2007.

I would like to propose a motion to rename all hispanic cheesecake to “Flan.”

Jon, I went to law school because of Steve Dallas and Dan Fielding.

Any chance of Ian updating his classic post comparing football teams to rappers? It is still pretty accurate two seasons later (do you know how long that is in teen years?) and has proven to be prophetic in some points.
And thanks for that YouTube post, I fuckin’ love that song.

SJP = horseface?

The Onion had a great fake magazine cover related to this topic:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54857

No, seriously. SJP has a face?

If you’re old enough to remember SJP on Square Pegs (never mind dorky enough to admit it), then you know that there is nothing that will make her teh hottness.

Kristen Davis character on that show is exactly the kind of girl I loved in high school and college – prim and proper but with a dark desire to be a nasty girl. And as I yell at my wife everytime that show is on now, “Who didn’t know the redhead was a lesbian?”

SJP and Delaney are related?

I don’t know how much Sex in the City I watched (Shut up!) waiting for Kristin Davis to finally join her co-stars (with the exception of Mrs. Ed, of course) in flashing the nips. She finally did it, but boy was it anticlimactic.

— “Sex and the City” is a blight on America.

— SJP was last (remotely) attractive in “L.A. Story.”

— Flan!

Flop,
Oh… yeah. She was Steve Martin’s first Shopgirl, wasn’t she? And I did like her in that. SaNdEe*, right?

“I’m hot from running now!”