BEARCATS BRACING AFTER BAREBACK BASH?

All these Fulmer Cup points in Ohio and the Buckeyes haven’t even checked in yet. You other suckers are all fighting for second place. Bitches.

Not that I would want too see it…..but I wonder, If any of the vid’s have hit the web yet??

Anyone??

I see this video being used in high school history classes across the world: ‘see kids, now this is Germany- they came in hard and fast, before anyone else was really primed and ready. The Austrians are back there giving a hand. Ah, see, now is when France decides to just give it up, there was no saying no at this point, the camera was running and everything…’ You can imagine how it goes from here.

Robert Maplethorpe in the first line! I knew I could count on you, Mr. Swindle.

Here’s the actual letter.

http://news.enquirer.com/assets/AB62540220.PDF

Rumor is none of the four recruits actually ended up at Cincinnati; two are in the Big East, one is in the ACC, and one isn’t playing football.

Otter, aka Coach Kelly: "Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests – we did.
[winks at Dean Wormer] "

I can’t beleive that Robert Maplethorpe is still affiliated with Cincinnati. That is just amazing to me as a Cincinnati native. Is this a common things amongst Americans? Or is Orson just that aware? Or am I just that unaware?

Help!

Former? I’m guessing perhaps the 2006 team?

http://www.netitor.com/photos/schools/cinn/sports/w-soccer/auto_original/484021.jpeg

Gentlemen, place your bets.

My company blocked the site (douchebags), but if you can, go to www.thephatphree.com and look for an article titled, “This Gang Bang Is So Awkward”. I feel there are a lot of appropriate quotes/jokes to be mined from this piece.

Thank you for not forgetting Poland.

All this fuss and only one chick was involved? What a bunch of squares!

So , really, only the presence of alcohol is illegal. I am not aware recruits are not allowed to have sex, even orgies, by the NCAA. Where does this fit into Fulmer cup points, 1 point? A fantastic 1 point of underage drinking conducted with elan, but 1 point nontheless.

So, since this seems to have occurred during the season, does it count for Fulmer Cup points?

Just like the infamous Saugeen Stripper, college kids will learn that camera-bearing people should be banned from dorm room fun time activities. Come on kids: alcohol, members of the opposite sex, and cameras do not mix. Shouldn’t this be in a Freshman Orientation class?

Odell, I wouldn’t be too concerned. Most Americans don’t know who Robert Mapplethorpe is, much less that he was the subject of one of the many Cincinnati anti-obscenity hysteria outbreaks.

How much tragedy does Nick Lachey have to endure??

#3

He fixes the cable?

“I AM NOT A POLLACK!!!”

I’d say fulmer cup points IF it’s eligible to this season. One for alchol of each offendant, and then one for style points of each offendant. I mean, gangbangs definitely qualify for style points.

As for female soccer players, they are usually 15% or so of a team that are smokin’ hot. I wonder which one?

1. — ‘This gangbang is so awkward’ is good… however, I find ‘You can’t Plinko for shit you dumb whore’ to be a funnier read. Though not quite as applicable here, I suppose.

And I am computer-retarded and don’t know how to do snazzy italics. Sad.

Don’t be fatuous, #15.

Maybe they thought this would get them an inside track to the Bengals some day.

btw, doesn’t someone have to be cited by the police for something before Fulmer Cup points can actually issue?

I said it last year, I’ll say it again now: w/in 5 (now 4) years, the Bearcats will win the Big East.

With the quizzing on the points system, I think it’s time for Orson & Stranko to dedicate tomorrow to the points system definitions, the new rules changes for this year, and who the members of the Rules Committee are.

As well as some photos of fine-assed Univision cheesecake.

At the very least, I’m hoping Big Mike can help us put together the first scoreboard update of the season.

Sweet. As interesting as the dorm shanigans is the implied cover-up (and history of cover-ups) in the letter from the anonymous employee. OK, not AS interesting, but still something to watch.

Rabid Badger, I had actually put that in parenthesis at the end of my post, then thought, naw, somebody’ll hit that one out of the park.

Nice Harvey Birdman reference.

HA-ha… kinky group sex.

You know, there’s really only one girl in that team photo I wouldn’t want to get frisky with.

chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga CHOO-CHOOOOOOOO!

Let’s call the boys, let’s run a train
[/threesix]

I’ll never be able to order a Five Way again
http://www.skylinechili.com/signature.php
without snickering.

Why the assumption that the young lady in question is one of the cuter members of the soccer team? I’m thinking that “ready, willing, and able” would be the primary criteria.
English soccer players seem to get up to this a lot as well.

Well, if you’re looking for me, I’ll be encouraging my daughters to become goths or something similar. Sure, they’ll be the only kids in nursery school with Robert Smith lunchboxes, but it’s never too early to mope.

Stranko, at this point this thread surely deserves some Heather Mitts cheesecake, yeah?

The Nati’ is representing hardcore on this post.

1. Robert Maplethorpe
2. Skyline Chili
3. The predictable Bengals tie in
4. Cincinnati Native Heather Mitts

5-1-3 rep yo’ city!!!!!

You’ll only be representing hardcore once a copy of the tape gets out. Then it will be official.

If Chris Henry’s vomiting in the background of the video, the ’Nati becomes the new Miami. That is all.

uhh… help me out here

in the photo of the soccer team… are the ladies holding their legs to keep them OPEN or to keep them from flying apart?

also, I think #24 might be a guy… lord help ‘em if that’s who shows up in the movies

Eight dudes, one poorly-toothed west side ho, and probably zero college degrees between them.

I heard those guys now refer to their victim as Great American Ball Park.

A 5 Way here consists of chili, cheese, noodles, onion and beans—-apparently it also can consist of black guys, one white girl, cameras, music and a lil hot sauce down the ass crack. We call that the 5-way supreme team. Offer only valid during recruiting season

Remember it ain’t no fun, if the hoomies can’t haaaave none.
We are now going to get the best recruits because of this….i would definately commit

Other people Cincinnati is known for- some of This is humiliating

Carmen (im annoying but hot) electra
Tyrone( i have a decrepid john chaney looking face) Hill
Sarah Jessica (Horse face) Parker
Pete (I’m too awesome to pay taxes or not bet on everything) Rose —he really is the man
Ted (I look like a French Frog) Turner
Pete (I suck at baseball so i will sell GHB and steriods)Rose JR
Don (I could fight in the 30’s Crumple face) Zimmer
Nick Lachey-insert own humor
Doris Day
George (im a cocky SOB) Clooney
Marge ( i hate any race that isn’t a St. Bernard dog) Schott—-“White Power”
William (Im sofucking fat i couldnt fit in the whit houses bathtub) Taft
Jerry (I pay hookers i bang with a personal check as mayor of Cincy) Springer
And of course Charles (bitch kill that bitch) Manson

From my experience with soccer players (married one) goalies are the biggest freaks

Naticatz: I think you meant, Doris “Anne Bancroft is a cradle-robbing slut” Day.

BTW, I have only now recovered sufficiently to note that glazed ham is no longer on my Easter menu. Yikes!

I cannot stress enough how much of a horse face sarah jessica parker is….she makes me want to pull a chris Henry.

That is when you throw up out the car window while another bengal player is performing a field sobriety test, this all just moments after you gave two underage girls( one 16) alcohol and fucked an 18 yr old prostitute. Later you find out that that same prostitute you had sex with in a Kentucky hotel room is now facing murder charges…hence your case is dropped to much lesser charges. All true.

Chris Henry and Pacman Jones on the same Team in College and they are just coming of age now!

If SJP were really that much of a horse face, wouldn’t you want to pull an Art Long instead?

THAT, Devilgrad, is excellent!

Can’t be the goalie. They’re supposed to keep balls OUT of the goal.

Raider Red, they are supposed to get in the way of the balls to keep them out of the net.

Is this the first honest to god Title IX violation?

More like Title LXIX violation.

Orson,

I can only hope that Cincinnati becomes the new Miami. That would make my day. No….that would make my life.

The amount of jokes and doubled over laughter is totally worth my Alma’s reputation. Totally.

Re: post # 6 – Otter’s speech

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8uCS9wcyQ4

A ho to recruit ratio of less than 1?

Jeez, Cincy should move to the GLIAC.

Come on, Bearcats, you are not trying.

And next, on a very special Eight is Enough.

Jesus Christ, I go to Amsterdam for two fucking days and I miss a chance to dump on Cincinnati. Why do I always miss out on these things?

Must be nice to have a cum receptical like that round campus when recruits are in town. Hopefully her daddy is dead. B4 this tape goes public.