BRITNEY SPEARS: THE COLORADO OF CELEBRITIES?

by Stranko on Feb 19, 2007 10:11 AM EST

How did she get to be the girl checking out of rehab and shaving her head, the proverbial 2-10 season of a celebrity?

Britney, like Colorado, had her day in the sun. Consistently in the national media (for good things) and competing for the top spot in her field year in and year out. She had her Bill McCartney years. So what happened?

A few bad relationships...

Things get out of hand....

The pressure mounts in the media....

Maybe Dan Hawkins can save her.

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I’ve seen this one before. Next, she appears on Saturday Night Live and shreds a picture of the Pope.

by DevilGrad on Feb 19, 2007 10:16 AM EST reply actions

If you don’t have the cojones to shave all your hair completely off, then go play intramurals, brother!

by Doug on Feb 19, 2007 10:19 AM EST reply actions

I’m pretty sure Hawkins is not going to advocate a vacation.

by letsplaytummysticks on Feb 19, 2007 10:20 AM EST reply actions

I wonder of she got the full Telly Savalas.

by Southern Papa on Feb 19, 2007 10:21 AM EST reply actions

All we need now is a Youtube video of her singing Crazy by Patsy Cline.

by Cool Hand Mike on Feb 19, 2007 10:32 AM EST reply actions

Who would have thought that Kevin Federline would come out of this whole thing looking like the sane, rational, well-adjusted one? Not me, anyway.

by doreblogger on Feb 19, 2007 10:49 AM EST reply actions

Ironic- or maybe irony isn’t the word- but in a song Pink says she is tired of being compared to “damn Brittany Spears!” now- Brittany will be compared to her (in strange hair-does)

But in all seriousness, finally we know that the shower curtain matches the ceramic floor tile. In case you were wondering

by blah on Feb 19, 2007 10:50 AM EST reply actions

Couldnt she go out like every other respectable hottie, by a drug induced overdose.

by Brian on Feb 19, 2007 11:08 AM EST reply actions

You got to give her 4 out of 5 start in the loooney rankings…the only reason she is not a full 5 star recruit is the level of consistency she shows in applying the "shaved " look to her entire body.

by ness on Feb 19, 2007 11:11 AM EST reply actions

this is simply amazing- almost like the Daytona 500 of Celebs- The “I only watch for the crashes” part of it

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-23386100-details/Britney’s+wig+hides+the+bald+truth/article.do

she is now sporting a cheap wig…LOL Comparable to the meltdown of my semenhole friends on Jan 9th

by blah on Feb 19, 2007 11:16 AM EST reply actions

When 50 Cent is saying you need help, then you know you’re having problems. Next thing you know, Michael Jackson will be screening her calls and saying he doesn’t want to associate himself with that crazy bitch.

by rebel84 on Feb 19, 2007 11:38 AM EST reply actions

We get it, you’re upset Anna Nicole stole your thunder with that whole Meth overdose thing. This is not the proper way to deal…. When people from Kentwood are ashamed of you, you have truly arrived in the Pantheon of Human Filth. Congradulations you silly bitch

by Tarpon on Feb 19, 2007 11:40 AM EST reply actions

Oh,my goodness. I thin I’ve got it. That last picture put into context. She’s finally discovered her next role:
Frank N Furter.

by Southern Papa on Feb 19, 2007 12:03 PM EST reply actions

Does that make Dan Hawkins the metaphorical Paris Hilton? If so, I like it.

by glacialspeed on Feb 19, 2007 12:07 PM EST reply actions

Maybe Hawkins already got a hold of her seeing as she’s rocking the Dalai Lama’s ’do. The next step, however, might be Bam Bam Bigelow style head tattoos.

by Nick on Feb 19, 2007 12:18 PM EST reply actions

See I wouldn’t have as much of an issue with this if she kept the style. She actually looks pretty good with the shaved head, but wearing a wig is pretty much admitting that you were trashed when you made the decision to cut your hair.

by Dave110 on Feb 19, 2007 12:18 PM EST reply actions

tim hardaway suddenly finds her strangely attractive.

by adam on Feb 19, 2007 12:47 PM EST reply actions

Hats Dept:

If I put on my:

1) People Magazine Hat: BSpears cut her hair because she cannot believe she left J. Timberlake for a set of losers, while his career is right on target and hers is in the toilet. Plus, that blasted Cristina Aguilera, although a bit whacky, is doing fine.

2) Sports Illustrated: BS is depressed about Beyondsay getting the cover of the Swimsuit Issue.

3) Rivals/Scout Hat: BS is depressed about USC getting McKnight, instead of LSU.

4) News of the World Hat: Aliens abducted BS’s brain and the resident alien is up to no good.

5) Time Magazine Hat: BS wants to get a jump start on the “Man of the Year” award.

6) Blue Gray Sky Hat: Not even Domers, who are used to a certain type of woman, would not even hit on BS anymore.

by Stacy Keibler Loves Me on Feb 19, 2007 1:18 PM EST reply actions

Ms Spears is rapidly becoming the Appalachian State commercial of addled female celebrities.

by DC Trojan on Feb 19, 2007 1:44 PM EST reply actions

She’s just trying to pimp her new brand of dome wax.

Continuing with the naming convention of adjectives that could possibly describe Britney Spears, the marketing agency have decided to name it “Irrelevant.” you should be seeing it in stores soon.

by Rockytop85 on Feb 19, 2007 1:50 PM EST reply actions

Bald (ing) people of the world unite!

by Rabid Badger on Feb 19, 2007 1:55 PM EST reply actions

Costanz & Cosmo:

RE: Comment No. 20:

Rabid Badger: Didn’t you see the Seinfeld “Bald Woman” episode?

Bald people do not even like other bald people!

by Stacy Keibler Loves Me on Feb 19, 2007 2:17 PM EST reply actions

No, I avoided Seinfeld, never did much for me.

And have we noticed bald britney = Tobias Funke?

by Rabid Badger on Feb 19, 2007 2:25 PM EST reply actions

It’s just like what my ol’ man’s T-shirt says:

“I’m not bald…it’s a solar panel for a sex machine!”

by Aerobab on Feb 19, 2007 2:31 PM EST reply actions

Like every other neck in the south. When she was nineteen you would have fought to hit that. Now you are really glad you did not.

by Willet on Feb 19, 2007 2:38 PM EST reply actions

"I’m not bald…it’s a solar panel for a sex machine!"

Ha! Frankly I’d rather find a way to hook my chrome dome up to recharge my iPod.

by DC Trojan on Feb 19, 2007 3:06 PM EST reply actions

Now the curtians match the drapes.

probably not the first or last time you’ll hear that on the internets.[/disclaimer]

by Rob on Feb 19, 2007 3:47 PM EST reply actions

Her next single is a cover of “Nothing Compares to You” By Sinead Oconnor

Anyway, Now when I look at her, I don’t see slutty schoolgirl, I start to think about the First Star Trek Movie.

Speaking of Seinfeld….“Live Brittany! Damn it! Live like it is the first day of the rest of your life….because in a way, it is.”

by Roaminggator on Feb 19, 2007 3:56 PM EST reply actions

Hey BS, Sigourney Weaver/Ripley from “Alien 3” wants her ’do back.

by Geaux Irish on Feb 19, 2007 3:57 PM EST reply actions

I’m sure we will see this one tomorrow but,
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/02/17/bc.fbc.scarolina.garcia.ap/index.html

I thought Spurrier was getting some speed down there. If you can’t outrun a South Carolina police officer (I’m picturing some Rosco P. Coltrane types) then how fast are you?
Drunken QB antics, an annual rite of passage for Gamecock signal callers.

by Zook Line and Sinker on Feb 19, 2007 3:58 PM EST reply actions

Willet – truth be told – yes or no?

by Out of Conference on Feb 19, 2007 3:59 PM EST reply actions

[Name Redacted] Line and Sinker – holy shit man, you’re speed is incredible. How did you scoop even the great Orson and general public with that bit of news? Wake up and read yesterday’s blogs and the day before’s blogs, yawn.

by Out of Conference on Feb 19, 2007 4:02 PM EST reply actions

First person to pop into my mind when I saw Brit’s new chrome dome.

[IMG]http://images6.theimagehosting.com/britney_urlacher.th.jpg[/IMG]

by RB on Feb 19, 2007 4:03 PM EST reply actions

your

by Out of Conference on Feb 19, 2007 4:03 PM EST reply actions

You really hate to see things like this. She was so fucking hot… and now, damn. Just damn.

by peachy on Feb 19, 2007 4:05 PM EST reply actions

http://server6.theimagehosting.com/image.php?img=britney_urlacher.jpg

working version.

by RB on Feb 19, 2007 4:05 PM EST reply actions

Re. Ms. Spears: Defcon 5 for the Redneck Trainwreck.

(I don’t think anyone’s put this one up around here yet. If so, correct me.)

by Signal to Noise on Feb 19, 2007 4:09 PM EST reply actions

That’s “Super Bowl Loser, Britney Urlacher”, RB. Get it straight.

by Aerobab on Feb 19, 2007 4:09 PM EST reply actions

#37…. visit here much? Been there, done that….so last week….even had it’s own blog.

Britney’s last ditch effort to win Justin Timberfake back….“maybe if I look like a boy, he’ll want me”

by Mich-Placed_Gator on Feb 19, 2007 4:24 PM EST reply actions

At least we now know the carpet matches the drapes…

Or should we say- NO carpet & No Drapes now?

by MrG on Feb 19, 2007 4:47 PM EST reply actions

2nd Chances Dept:

America loves second acts. (Just note all of the excitement over the Police touring again. Even though the last time they toured BS was not born.)

BS is in her 20’s. BS has enough time to get her b.s. together and make it a go again. And, if all fails here, she can always go to Europe where she will be huge, huge I tell you.

The only problem I think is drugs. She looks like she is going the Whitney Houston route and will end up drinking or drugging herself into oblivion.

Maybe she ought to take up Rosie O’Donnell’s offer. At least she would still look hot next to that beast (Rosie).

by Stacy Keibler Loves Me on Feb 19, 2007 5:00 PM EST reply actions

- missed it. Must have hit before I put this place on the feed list. Sorry.

I’m starting my deadpool on Britney for under two years.

by Signal to Noise on Feb 19, 2007 5:00 PM EST reply actions

to quote American Dad -

“ew…that’s the one place you want them to have hair.”

by Annonymous on Feb 19, 2007 5:35 PM EST reply actions

OOC. I didn’t expect that I was scooping the story. After all I did link to SI, not exactly the ferrari of sports news speed. Give a Big Televener a break. Where I’m from Speed = 14 – 41

by Zook Line and Sinker on Feb 19, 2007 7:33 PM EST reply actions

There I was, all set to make an “I know Natalie Portman, and YOU, MISS, ARE NO NATALIE PORTMAN” joke, and I wander over for the inevitable Defamer analysis and someone’s beat me to “V for Velveeta”.

by Holly on Feb 19, 2007 7:46 PM EST reply actions

Hugh Weaving is crying in his eventual grave.

by Brandon Cavanaugh on Feb 19, 2007 7:50 PM EST reply actions

My wife thinks Brittney looks like a “monkey.” Sinead O’Connor and I make shaved heads look sexy. Brit-Brit? Not so much.

by Harris on Feb 19, 2007 8:38 PM EST reply actions

Is nothing sacred?

by Cardiac Kids on Feb 19, 2007 8:51 PM EST reply actions

I wouldn’t even look at her until she ran off to Vegas with that guy in 2000. Then, when she was 19 all of a sudden it was alright for an old man to look at her.

Completely understandable behavior now though. She’s 25 years old. Nowhere to go but down.

by Boclive on Feb 20, 2007 7:59 AM EST reply actions