PAC-10 COACHES URGE PETE CARROLL TO TAKE CHARGERS' COACHING JOB

Charlie Weis’ Two Cents Dept:

Charlie: “I will donate half of my multi-million dollar settlement from the Al Roker surgery fiasco at Mass General to whatever charity my Uncle Pete Carroll picks, if he goes away to that black hole, aka as the NFL, which I could never even get a whiff of a head coaching job, and had to settle for sloppy seconds or thirds at Our Lady du Lac de Notra Daaam, or whatever.”

Tedford’s reaction was the best, but no comments from Bill Doba at WSU? Having a hyperactive teenager as the coach of USC is a good thing. I wonder what would happen if Carroll had some sugar.

By the way the most current posting dealing with Jim Delany must have been rather disappointing since in the post “THE BIG TEN, WHERE THE ONE-EYED MAN IS KING” you typed, “…we seriously fucking respect the Big Ten…”

But in the same posting I found salvation in the words “…in the end that life would break your heart…” and how appropriate is it for that to be typed on Valentine’s Day.

Carroll leaving USC is actually part of the potential settlement in Charlie the Hut’s lawsuit. That, and Anna Nicole’s remaining supply of TrimSpa.

The joke is that Washington State is left out entirely, falling in the “sad but true” department. "

There’s a Washington State?

“Fuck that guy in the ear.”

I scared half our adminstrative assistants with the loud guffaw I dropped upon reading that.

Sweet, sweet prose, Orson.

Nicely done.

And you know Mike Stoops would actually say Carroll could go get fucked in the ear.

+1 Stacy Keibler.

Good news, the nemesis of college football, Rule 3-2-5e, will be gone next year. I wonder how CBS will stretch their commercial breaks now.

http://www.ajc.com/sports/content/sports/stories/2007/02/14/0214sptncaarules.html

I think Charlie Weis is rounding up ND boosters to pay for Pete Carroll’s entire salary at the San Diego Chargers. I mean, take away the annual loss against USC, add the victories over the service academies and ND could be in a BCS bowl for 10 more years easy.

Plus I have no doubt that the Stanford Tree would do a better job in its first year of coaching than Walt freaking Harris. 1-11. Walt Harris out-Templed Temple for goodness sakes.

I didn’t know the Stanford Tree had collagen-injected lips.

Lips Dept:

In Calif, especially Orange County, getting the boobs and lips done is as common as the yearly dental visit, and that is just for the dudes, imagine all of the work done on the ladies…..

The Stanford Tree was last seen raising a glass with Dennis Erickson.

SKLM, as tasty as that worm you just dropped about coach Weis looks, I’m not biting.

“So you’re saying the USC coaching job might be available? Hmmm…”

-Dennis Erickson, overheard during lunch at Dream Palace

Sure, all the kids think they’ll be happy when Daddy finally leaves. The liquor cabinet is unlocked, Cinemax is on the tube, and they get to stay up past midnight. But soon they’ll realize that divorce is no picnic, and the only thing protecting them from being drop-kicked into the WAC/MWC wasteland was big, bad Daddy Carroll.

Hope the crippling emotional scars keep you warm at night , fellas.

I assumed that you left out Bill Doba because the Pony Express wasn’t back from Pullman yet.

Gastric bypass surgery was a bad idea. Charlie shoulda tried coke. It’s not much more dangerous than a stomach-staple, it’s way more fun, and it’ll give him the energy to recruit like Ron Zook. (speaking of which, maybe that’s how Zook recruits so well)
I’m thinking Anna Nicole’s weight loss was more due to drugs than to TrimSpa.

Apologies for befouling your site. I meant [NAME REDACTED].

For some reason, this Mustache Wednesday has me yelling “Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you!!!”

#20, I believe it is:
“fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you, I’m out.”

This also might be the script at the Poodle’s last team meeting, for all I know.

Rusty,

I don’t think PC said “you’re cool” to anyone on the Oregon sideline in November, but I’m starting to get concerned that he might say “I’m out”, pretty soon.

Wait….Charlie Weis has already had The Surgery?

What the hell did he look like before the surgery? And how on earth was he ever able to avoid being hunted down by The Orgeron?

"He stole my recruits. I also think he stole the flat screens out of my Tahoe."

No Mike, The recruits stole shit out of your Tahoe, at the behest of former SC players. Of course, Carrol knew nothing about it.

Yeah, JD. It was botched, and that’s the reason for the lawsuit.

My bad, DC. I didn’t realize that you were referencing the SC-Oregon game.

No Mike, The recruits stole shit out of your Tahoe, at the behest of former SC players. Of course, Carrol knew nothing about it.

I think Pete can afford his own flat screens, somehow, and it’s much more satisfying to steal hope. At least I assume so, it seems to be what motivates my management.

DC Trojan,

Excellent. From now on I will envision your emails being spoken by a big floating Dick Cheney head….in the sky.

Dammit! I misread that. you were refering to your management, not your management STYLE.

1. 12: I resent that SKLM. These pouty lips and man boobs are all natural.

1. Are you on DOPE? Actually if PC did leave USC would probably plug Jeff Fisher or Jack Del Rio in and keep on rolling along.

In general I still think all the Carroll to the Chargers talk is/was silly. After no more than cursory consideration of the Miami job, there was no way that PC would ever look twice at San Diego. That situation is the opposite of what he’d need and I’m sure that most of the people babbling about it must realize that.

Excellent. From now on I will envision your emails being spoken by a big floating Dick Cheney head….in the sky.

Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, as the Dead Milkmen would have it. No-one’s ever made that comparison before.

Dammit! I misread that. you were referring to your management, not your management STYLE.

My management style is largely limited to looking blankly at junior staff and wondering if they really are that fucking stupid, or if they are just hoping to be left alone.

There was that time I made a pregnant co-worker cry, but she was 48 hours from giving birth and I think she would have burst into tears if someone had looked at her funny. Telling her that her project was doomed from day one certainly did the trick.

Maybe I’m ruling out the Dick Cheney approach too quickly.