AUBURN VD CARDS FOR THE LOVER IN YOU.

Is it me or does that last cupcake look a lot like Brodie Croyle?

I have to call bullshit on the first card.

Folks here in Alabama would leave your ass lying in state longer than James Brown if you insisted on a Saturday funeral during football season.

My suggestion to Cow College grads: If you get tired while jacking off the bull, just switch arms.

Damn! September can’t get here soon enough.

I love how an Alabama picture get to slip onto the cupcake card with the likes of Buffalo, Arkansas State, Tulane, Louisiana-Monroe, and Ball State.

Where are the Florida valentine’s day cards?

Do they do apologies cards as well? I need one that says “Sorry Mom, but on my first day back in the country after over a year abroad, I am going to South Bend rather than hanging around in Atlanta for your birthday. Really, sorry.”

Then again, the Irish are playing Georgia Tech, and she’s a Catholic UGA grad, so I’m probably safe.

These are worth seeing once -
http://www.theauburner.com/ironbowlads.html

Yeah, I think a lot of ’Bama and Auburn fans got a few funeral ideas from that Steelers fan who was sitting in a recliner wearing Steelers pajamas at the viewing. Now every funeral home in Alabama will have recliners and Iron Bowl highlight videos available.

I’m only 25 and have already made it clear to family members that should I expire a tad early, nothing relating to it better be happening on a Saturday during the fall. Bad juju for the team, and, more importantly, you shouldn’t ask someone to do something that you wouldn’t do yourself. And I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t. Is that bad? Hmm.

Cupcake, my ass… we stayed within 63 of the Tigers last fall!

Oh, wait…

Funerals are kinda like weddings…you don’t have them on Gameday.

“AUBURN VD CARDS FOR THE LOVER IN YOU.”

I thought this was going to be about the “other VD”; ironicaly synonymous with the day of love. You know, with cards like:

“You’re sweeter than cupcakes…at least until that nasty fungal/viral infection flares up again. Sorry about that, but I love you anyway!”

As a Mississippi State fan, I’m outraged to see the Bulldogs missing from the “cupcake” card. No way that juggernaut Green Wave team is more cupcakey than State!

My fave is “You are more gorgeous than Al Borges.” Sheer poetry.

If it is all right for parents to miss their daughter’s wedding because she had the gall to schedule her wedding during an Alabama-Tennessee game than it should be fine if you miss someone’s funeral if it was during the Iron Bowl (St. John 2004, 10). Better yet, have the wake in your living room during the game or just go to the game. The dead, for the most part, are not going anywhere.

Thanks, Anonymous IV, for making me feel stupid for not including properly formated citations in my posts.

Ack. Time to break out the style manuals.

Where’s the “Your Coochie smells like Herring” card?

As an Auburn fan, I can tell you these things work. My wife just walked in, saw the Iron Bowl funeral proclaimation and said, “Now that’s love…”

Newspaper Hack,

It just seemed easier to have the citation instead of typing everything. Besides, I do not want to be given credit for the work that another person did and readers of this fine blog will now be able to go to the source. It was not an attempt to make anyone feel stupid.

Where’s the one that says, “I love you so much if there were a blackface fraternity party on our anniversary, I’d take you to dinner before dedicating the rest of my evening to pure bigotry”? I missed that one.

Is Auburn accredited yet?