3-2-5-e 86'd !!!11!!!11!!!

In the words of Howling Mad Murphy:

“As the history hitherto of class struggles and modern bourgeise society! Class antagonisms! Feudal something of opression! Serfdom! Bourgeise! Tottering feudal society! And victory for the proletariat! That’s you!”

I’m already loving the pushed-back kickoff. Way too many touchbacks in D-1.

Also equals more catastrophic special teams hits woo.

Miles Brand, be my valentine.

“Encourage coaches, officials, game management personnel, media partners to manage the game in a more efficient manner”

Demanding better clock management? We don’t need do that anymore. UW fans took that job over.

So does this mean that Florida’s national title will get an asterisk in that it came in the year of 3-2-5e?

How do we know that given 12 more plays per game that they would still have been the national champions?

I vote asterisk!

I’m wondering what the “encouragement” will entail.

Guns.

rebel84…twelve more plays = UF 62 tOSU 14

Lawya, that valentine should go to the coaches committee who realized their mistake and corrected it. Myles was too busy soaking in his Scrooge McDuck moneypool to pay attention.

Ding dong, the wicked witch, the wicked witch is dead!

  Mmmmm. Munchkins.

Wow, this is even better than when I won Time Magazine Man of the Year!

Bielema. The Ronald Reagan-Margaret Thatcher-Pope John Paul II, all rolled into one, who killed the commie rule dead.

He ought to have a bronze statue of his own next to the one of Barry Alvarez.

Man, is it Easy Listening Wednesday or something? My friend just called with the positively bizarre question, “Who sings ‘Leader of the Band’?” then I get old Neil coming to America on EDSBS. If I hear Seals & Croft on the way home, I’m driving into an embankment.

That’s Dan “the Destroyer” Fogelberg.

I’m surprised, I thought that this would warrant a call for a fuckin’ siren …. I guess that honor is reserved only for Fulmer Cup chicanery?

I’m still worried. Their goal is to ‘shorten the time it takes to play a game’ and with the strangle-hold the television networks have on everything right now we know that time isn’t coming out of commercial time. Obviously we want less commercials, more football, but when was the last time the NCAA listened to us and not the networks?

We forgot the siren. Apologies.

Moving kickoffs back = less touchbacks = more chances for the Gators to screw up Brandon James’ long returns with holds and the like.

All in all, huzzah! Huzzah! Never thought they would revoke that asinine set of rules so completely.

My wife made me go to see Dan Fogelberg at Chastain once. Sadly, there was no Rule 3-2-5e to shorten the concert.

Behold the power of Neil Diamond to cause spontaneous orgasms just by belting out “Today!” is a rough and scraggly voice! I think the lady in red (with 50 seconds left) went out for a cigarette after this song.

And some of you may recall Opus’s concern when he learned that his wife-to-be Lola Granola had a tattoo of “Dan Fogelburp.”

Lola was hot. She’s one of the few animated ladies we ever found sexy.

The other one is the Amazonian, ’90s She-Hulk, which explains our fondness for Serena Williams.

In a game where overtime excludes kick return skills or kick coverage competency entirely, we now increase emphasize on the kick return and kick coverage in regulation. Hmm.

CBS will never be able to get back before play resumes.

I feel like we are staring into the toilet and cheering a turd.

ugh. hoo-ray.

Holy Sweet Caroline!

Rule changes never seemed so good!

God bless Neil Diamond, the Jewish Elvis!

Got any footage of Neil doing his version of “Red Red Wine”? I love when he “outs” UB-40 about how he is earning royalties evry time they play it. Yay, America!

Few people know that the NCAA Football Rules Committee is fueled creatively by its massive hatred of immigrants.

Orson,
    This question has been bothering me for some time: do you have an actual, paycheck-dispensing job? If you do, my life is much, much more shameful that I ever imagined.

Yes. We try our best not to get in the way of the committed, dedicated people around us.

Orson, don’t be ashamed by your appreciation of Serena Williams’ finer qualities. She is the living, breathing definition of the cultural phenomenon known as the “badonkadonk”. I don’t care how many Russian teenagers she mercilessly crushes on the tennis court; the important thing is she’ll always have the most (and the best!!!) junk in her trunk.

As to the rule revocations and alterations, well, huzzahs and salutations. I’m sure Fox will still find a way to create an expanded role for the football playing robots though.

Far from it—we’re actually defending She-Hulk here.

I called my Daddy to tell him the good news, and was so overjoyed that I took the name of the Lord in vain several times. The trouble I found myself in was compunded by the fact that I followed up by trying to convince him there was a separate Baby Jesus for football. It was worth it.

Why do I feel the urge to burn a couch?

I LOVE Michael Caine!

“Goodnight you princes of SeaLab, you kings of the ocean. People are always asking me, ’Whats it all about, Alfred?”

Rusty #11,

That’s the exact tune that popped into my head when I read this headline.

What a wonderful V-Day.

And, yes…mmmmm…Munchkins….with stockings…

Neil Diamond is what makes this post great

I could have spent the last 10 minutes writing up some deliverable nonsense, but instead I took inspiration from another classic by Mr Diamond: Sweet Caroline…

Games went too long, moneymen wanted to say when
So we cut out some plays, about 15 strong
Oh, the fans they did shout, whoooaaa
And the shouts became a roar
Who could believe that we’d gone so wrong

Money, crossing hands, spilling out
But we need to placate you
Oh Sweet Myles Brand
Rules changes never felt so good
We were all inclined to think you never would…

I’m so excited I think I tore some stiches. If you can watch that and not immediately think of this:
http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/31749/
then you are a bigger man than me.

Just everyone cool out!!!
No, I will leave you IN.

Dennis Leary had a great bit about Dan Fogelberg. Talking about the silliness of parents suing Judas Priest(?) because their child committed suicide after listening to “Suicide Solution”, Leary asked ‘Oh, so does that mean I can sue Dan Fogelberg for turning me into a pussy during the 70’s?’

Canuck, +1

Mormon T., + a lot

DCTrojan, I really think you can do better. I mean honestly, right now I’m drunk on cider & vodka, and I know that shit you wrote is not worthy of a SC man such as yourself. Sack up!

You are so beautiful
You should be hid deep in the jungle
On some forgotten island

I heard about you
I got your pgp key
I write you letters every day

You are so beautiful
You should be guarded by monkeys
You are so beautiful

DCTrojan, I really think you can do better. I mean honestly, right now I’m drunk on cider & vodka, and I know that shit you wrote is not worthy of a SC man such as yourself. Sack up!

You’re quite right – my first mistake was starting with a crap song. Garbage in, garbage out, as they say.

The obvious starting point should have been “The Man don’t give a fuck” by the Super Furry Animals. Too late now though.

Cider and vodka: Why?

Also: NewAZTiger: nice use of “pgp key” — a lesser man would have used “number” or “address” or something dull.

DC Trojan, I’d love to claim that, but I’m trolling for Mr. Wrong on Valentine’s Day.

Cracker.

Dude…that Neil Diamond vid gave me CHILLS!! lol

DC, why vodka and cider?

  Well, first I didn’t drink them together. That would be vile, almost as vile as the apple juice & rum that my friend and I drank one night (horrible idea. Don’t ever do it). Those two alcoholic drinks just happened to be what I had available.

Milk and bourbon tops the list of bad things to put together…but for some reason egg nog and bourbon is good. Weird.

Tequila + [lime Crystal Lite] != healthy Low Carb margarita.

Worst hangover in history. And there’s a lot of history.

Um, sorry I’m late, NewAZTiger.

Cracker.

Should I be taking that personally, NewAZTiger?

Well, first I didn’t drink them together. That would be vile, almost as vile as the apple juice & rum that my friend and I drank one night (horrible idea. Don’t ever do it). Those two alcoholic drinks just happened to be what I had available.

That’s some small reassurance. No need for any guidance on apple juice and rum though; having tried the “drink pint of rum, wash down with beer” approach a couple of times (many years ago), the phrase “demon rum” has particular meaning for me.

Tequila + [lime Crystal Lite] != healthy Low Carb margarita.

Human creativity is boundless.

DC Trojan, no, but you should click here.

Mr. Wrong, I figured you were busy. Mr. Right was out of town last night.

First 3-2-5-e, next INSTANT REPLAY!

DC Trojan, no

Oh of course.

Personally, I was driving my one-eyed Malibu without a muffler while searching for my angel in black, the Eurotrash girl.

Wow…Iron Feliks Dzherzinsky. The hits just never stop comin’ here. Good stuff, man.

The question, though, is whether Orson FIRST heard of ol’ Feliks in an academic context, or – like me – in a Tom Clancy novel.