PROPOSED RULES CHANGES: 2007 EDITION

I loved Ethnic Mismatch Comedy #644.

If you hate Fox, you won’t be happy if/when they get the new SEC contract in two years. Hopefully they’ll have a “Soul of the Orgeron” camera with flames and demons dancing around the Square.

All games on FOX will have American Idol participant singing the national anthem. Oh, sorry, they already do that.

“Boy, he’s angry. Almost as angry as Jack Bauer!”

Oh, we can’t wait.

Fox would replace the folks in the booth with the trio from American Idol. They’d then have Ryan Seacrest doing the sideline reporting.

7. ESPN/ABC Disney Promo Hour(s): During every broadcast during a randomly selected timeout, we’ll be transferred to a live shot of someone waiting in line at Space Mountain. The live commercial, featuring said douchebag giving a monologue about how excited he/she is to finally ride Space Mountain, will last until the ride is over. Game play will then be allowed to resume. Bottom of screen will always have 800 number for Kissimmee/St. Cloud scrolling across it.

Worst part is that you can’t change the channel, since maybe the person has a fast-pass. But they never do.

“Charlie Weis you’re (down huge to real team or up big on service academy) at the half. We know there will be some second half adjustments, but what everyone wants to know is do you think Jim should be with Pam or Karen?”

You know Charlie secretly roots for Kevin to slide in and steal Pam.

If FOX picks up SEC can they use cgi to replace all the actual players with the football playing robots and use that effect they had for NHL games for slapshots where they had like a “flaming tail” on the puck, this can be used to demonstrate the SEC speed.

Or outlining Spurrier’s visor when he throws it.

as long as it involves The Orgeron eating Joe Buck in a single bite, I’m down with Fox

OT: interesting twist on the Marty S. firing in San Diego. Chances of it happening the way they planned are about zero.

http://www.snakesinmypants.com/2007/02/13/golden-state-domino-theory/

Half of this stuff is going to give the marketing boys at Fox and ESPN new and exciting ideas. The Romans ruined Chariot racing, too. Young people suck.

I’m going to play golf.

During endzone celebrations, have the announcer say, “That spike was brought to you by Rufinol!”

Do Ruffies in the first half and GHB in the second and you’ll double your advertising dollar.

Damn you for posting that valuting video! I can’t help but click “Watch Again” every time I’m given the chance. Hey…it’s YOUR tax dollars that are being wasted here!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_sarYH0z948

Caruso’s one liners from CSI: Unwatchable.

Dwight’s on Pam. Count on it. Like a man who’s really-on-the-girl-he-wants-but-can’t-have-because-his-psycho-Christian-secret-girlfriened-who’d-cut-his-balls-off-and-sacrifice-them-to-god-if-she-found-out kindof on her. Dwight in the booth would be cool.

Geez, the guy running into the vault video? What’s next, the kid who hits the golf ball into the camera? Rodney McCray running through the outfield fence? The frickin’ Wide World of Sports ski crash?

(Doesn’t mean I’m not going to watch it again.)

I prefer the pole vault incident:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=46pu8kobKMQ

OT: interesting twist on the Marty S. firing in San Diego. Chances of it happening the way they planned are about zero.

I dunno, waiting for the recruiting cycle to end is what Jeff Fisher did with the Norm Chow hire; it’s not like there isn’t some small precedent.

If the Chargers throw in a golden unicycle, there may be some nervous moments around Heritage Hall — or what noted soccer manager Sir Alex Ferguson refers to as “squeaky bum time.”

Like people aren’t already drinking when Musberger calls a game.

He never calls a game sober; why should we listen to it in that state?

off the subject…but does anyone know why “the fighting pollock” zbikowski is returnin to ND when he’s already graduated and he was rated the 4th best college safety by most draft experts…was the sugar bowl humilitation not enough, he’s coming back for more

1. is the best idea ever. I would watch any sport that put in somebody off the street. Even Nascar. Maybe especially Nascar.

#4 is the best idea ever. I would watch any sport that put in somebody off the street. Even Nascar. Maybe especially Nascar.

My rare forays south of the DC area suggest that many people have been practicing on the highways and by-ways, just in case.

Random amateurs in the cars would be about the only thing that would get me to tune in.

Zibby the Painter Question:

#22: Matt:

I did not know Zibby was into the American Abstract Expressionist movement (Jackson Pollock reference?)

How about the AFLAC Duck throw for every pass that isn’t a perfect spiral.

From a guy who did 2 summers in Marketing and Research at AFLAC in the early 90’s.

#22: Because Zibby flat sucked this season. I’m a Domer, but I’ve got no idea why he picked up 2nd team AA honors from at least one source this season. He did nothing, and most of the time was getting sucked into the play-action. Part of that was Minter’s scheme, which had him playing up as sort of a 4th LB, but it hurt him enough that despite what some scouting agencies would say, he’d have been lucky to be picked up 2nd day. Those agencies just want to sell their info, and putting an ND player into the mix will do that. If Zibby left this year, he’d be good for a fight or two at MSG, but not the NFL. Should he return to 2005 form next year, he’ll be okay.