APOLOGIES: DELAYS DUE TO BLOGGER’S KNEE
Beer, the hospitality of tailgaters, and impending obsolescence do add up: we missed prime a.m. blogging due to a doctor’s visit to have a trained professional look at the official right knee of EDSBS. Prior to today’s diagnosis, we’d been relying on Dr. Stoical McDumbass, who’d been telling us that singing pain in the right knee was a good thing, and that we weren’t reading our Marcus Aurelius with enough diligence:
“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
Did we mention that Marcus Aurelius was an emperor? Anyway, the diagnosis didn’t even give the comfort of man points in the form of “It’s a torn ACL. I’ve been walking on it like it was nothing.” Runner’s knee at thirty: now officially and indubitably a yuppie blogger type.
We’ll be along in a bit with Jim Delany being a dick about the SEC. BTW, Jarvis Moss just sacked Troy Smith again in the shoe section of a Dillard’s in Columbus, causing him to fumble a pair of Tims he was buying, which were recovered by Derrick Harvey who promptly returned them for in-store credit.

We’re calling it blogger’s knee. Oh, the glamour!









1
RedDevilEA says:
I read what you’re about to put up concerning Jim Delany and let me say, as a Buckeye, that Jim Delany is an asshole. It was a dickish move to say what he said and it’s flat-out embarassing. I’m sure you guys are going to have fun with this .
February 12th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
2
Todd says:
Is it going to require surgery? ‘Cause believe me, as someone who’s had his knee operated on twice and will require the other knee to be cut sometime in the near future, it sucks.
February 12th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
3
Run Up The Score says:
And let this Nittany Lion add that Jim Delany is a total douchebag.
February 12th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
4
Aerobab says:
Thank goodness it’s only Blogger’s Knee. For a while there, I was beginning to think that a certain somebody had sprained his cerebrum! That would have certainly led to some rioting…at least in my cubicle.
February 12th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
5
Ryan says:
I wonder if Bloggers Knee is covered by my PPO? Luckily my torn ACL/Meniscus suffered during an in-home visit/wrestling match from Zook was covered.
February 12th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
6
Geaux Irish says:
Boise State would have run the Statue of Liberty on that shoe route….
…they would have then run out of the shoe department playing field to get down on one knee in the jewelry dept (all of this caught on cctv).
February 12th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
7
RedDevilEA says:
Hey, Run Up The Score, I’ve got room in my spider-hole if you care to join me…;)
February 12th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
8
Azher says:
My douche bag doctor did the same thing to me. So when I finally went for a second opinion a year later not only was my ACL completely torn through but my minuscus was mush too. Goddamn doctors!
February 12th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
9
italiangator says:
Just read the Delaney piece- I need to write a 5 pg paper on Foscolo, so I’m going to leave the eviscerating to the professionals. But I’m looking forward to the blogrape that will be taking place on Mr. Delaney, I’d suggest he asks Mr. Smith for a few tips as to how to get that foot out of his ass.
February 12th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
10
FishFan-GatorMan says:
Ah yes, Dr. Stoical McDumbass. He was the one that had me thinking that my aching shoulder would resolve itself. It didn’t. On a sleep deprived vacation in Argentina where I couldn’t achieve a comfortable horizontal position I decided that Dr. Stoical McDumbass was indeed a dumbass and so upon my return I had an orthopedic surgeon look at it. It turns out that partially torn rotator cuffs don’t heal by babying them. In fact, that leads to a condition known (for good reason) as “frozen shoulder”. Though I didn’t require surgery, 3 months of rehab was necessary.
I wish I could sue Dr. Stoical McDumbass, but he doesn’t have a pot to piss in. Spends most of his time reading blogs on the Internet.
February 12th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
11
maskedavenger says:
Oh goody, a Big 10-SEC flame festival in the comments section is a metaphysical certainty. I can hardly wait.
February 12th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
12
Yost says:
O,
I know it’s early, but this injury doesn’t mean you’re going to sit out 2007 does it? Rumors are swirling that you’re taking a redshirt this season. I’m just saying.
February 12th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
13
yz says:
marcus arrelious benn? guy can do evythin’! no wonder he went to illinois!
February 12th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
14
Kenny says:
Orson,
You should have blamed it on the bull. Or at least the cowgirls.
Mike Slive has retorted, by the by:
http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/college/football/cs-0702120070feb12,1,5880950.story?coll=cs-college-print
February 12th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
15
Run Up The Score says:
I don’t know that you’ll see a full-out B10 / SEC flame war. Most Big Ten fans know that Delany sucks. And if this is going to turn into a battle of academic standards, we should make it very clear that there’s a difference between academic standards for football players and the general student population. Let’s not pretend that the Big Ten doesn’t allow it’s fair share of fucking morons to play football.
February 12th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
16
DevilGrad says:
As long as you don’t have Cheesecake Wrist, I guess you’ll still be able to type.
Looking forward to the barrelfishing exercise on Delaney.
February 12th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
17
Brew(ster) Crew says:
This Minnesota fan hopes that Delaney becomes a speed bump for some bus somewhere. Hopefully soon, too.
February 12th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
18
Cool Hand Mike says:
Paging Dr. Andrews. Paging Dr. James Andrews.
4-6 weeks and you’ll be cutting deep out routes in between tailgaiters during the Parking Lot Bowl at the Florida spring game.
Can you fit your jorts over a knee brace?
February 12th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
19
Rabid Badger says:
He’s not dead?
February 12th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
20
FishFan-GatorMan says:
“Can you fit your jorts over a knee brace?”
Classic!
February 12th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
21
John Radcliff says:
When they whip out the biggest needle you’ve ever seen and tell you they need to numb your knee so they can put the big needle in there, you are officially screwed! But mixing beer, or any drink for that matter, and the muscle relaxers they give you after the surgery is a special high all to itself. Keep it positive and enjoy yourself.
February 12th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
22
tOSU_radar says:
Is Dr. McDumbass a new character on Gray’s Anatomy? I only know because my wife watches that show.
February 12th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
23
GatorAM says:
“Can you fit your jorts over a knee brace?”
Jorts, no. Zubaz, yes. Blue and dayglo orange, baby.
February 12th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
24
tOSU_radar says:
I agree with #15 that this really won’t erupt into a massive flame war. The match to this tinderbox was Tom Lemming’s quote in the first article about the Big 10 having to lower it’s academic standards, a statement I see as false anyway.
We all know that there is absolutely nothing going on in CFB until draft day. This is just Lemming’s attempt at some off-primetime pub now that the creepiness of recruiting is over. That said, does anyone really like their conference commissioner?
February 12th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
25
RedDevilEA says:
Notre Dame does.
February 12th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
26
Cool Hand Mike says:
Ah yes. Zubaz.
For the white folks who wanted to be MC Hammer but edgier.
February 12th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
27
tOSU_radar says:
Boutique conferences notwithstanding.
February 12th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
28
Lawya1 says:
Orson, did you learn the meaning of the word ‘Indubitably’ from that one Arrested Development episode? I did…
February 12th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
29
SeaTrojan says:
On these here “internets”, we have a word for college football bloggers who still show up everyday despite having “runner’s knee”: WARRIOR!
February 12th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
30
Chg says:
Orson, did you learn the meaning of the word ‘Indubitably’ from that one Arrested Development episode?
I learned it from this guy, who sounded enough like Jimmy Durante that I now in retrospect wonder how Post avoided lawsuits from his estate.
February 13th, 2007 at 7:48 pm