ANOTHER RECRUITING LOSS YOU MUST MOURN

In the clip linked below, Rich Eisen retells the Bea Arthur joke to Tony Kornheiser on what, coincidentally, was the last day ESPN Radio let Tony leave the mics open for the internet feed during the commercial breaks.

http://www.thiswebsitestinks.com/downloads/eisen_arthur.mp3

And I thought our LB recruit, Eltoro Freeman had a great name…

And, to get first dibs on the obvious joke, at Maryland, Your Recently Signed Recruit (TM, Swindle 2007) would fuck the Hispanic Student Association with Bearthur’s dick.

How could Ross crack a Nate Newton joke yet pass on the Playmaker?

I feel cheated.

In other news, USC cheated in recruiting again, and one again it involves Reggie Bush (but as far as we know nobody got a free house this time). If that’s not a “lack of institutional control,” I don’t know what is. Pete Carroll is using Eddie Murphy’s patented “it wasn’t me” defense, which seems to work every time. Alabama, on the other hand, may get the death penalty over this.

No, the best use of the Bea Arthur joke was at the Pamela Anderson roast, when Ross said:

I wouldn’t fuck Bea Arthur’s dick with Andy Dick’s pussy.

“Then Joe said, like, I totally spoke to Reggie Bush, no way, and then his coach said, like,oh no he di’n’t, and then Pete said, no way, Joe totally didn’t, maybe he heard ol’ Reggie on my Razr speakerphone, and then Joe was like I guess maybe I didn’t speak to Reggie that totally wasn’t what I meant to say, and then Joe’s coach was like, hello, maybe if you guys didn’t ask too many questions, he’s not like a rocket scientist, okay?”

I guess if the NCAA can’t get us on things like a house and cash, they had to set the 11 year old girls loose on the phone sting instead.

It’s all going to come crashing down eventually, glacialspeed, and with a name like that you should be able to wait.

In the meantime, I hope Bama has the cash reserves for paying off Saban’s contract when they get the death penalty and he bails.

1. - When did USC “cheat” in recruiting the first time?

This latest Yahoo story is about as solid as the original Bush story, and is just as likely to have zero impact on the Trojans. Everyone involved has made clarifying statements that no contact with Bush was made.

If the high school RB in Florida can make recorded statements about taking cash from little old ladies, then retract it and not lose his eligibility – then I don’t think the Trojans have much to worry about.

Actually, the best Bea Arthur line ever was at a later roast, where Jeffrey made the comment “I wouldn’t fuck Bea Arthur’s dick with Andy Dick’s pussy.” lol too much.

I believe a recruit can request a meeting with a former player but the coach can’t set it up on his own.

I want to say that Andre Smith asked to speak with Chris Samuels about what it was like to play left tackle at Alabama. People brought up the ethics of this and the school said it was ok.

Wait! I didn’t just get Bama on probation again, did I? Damn Damn Damn! Forget everything I just wrote.

Every school probably does the shit USC’s “internally investigating.” McKnight was just stupid enough to open his mouth. Nothing will come of said investigation.

“I’m just like ‘Dayyyum, it’s good to be Chris Rainey’!”

Be like Chris, Joe…just [REDACT] your comments.

In a bit of irony, since Bea Arthur and Leslie Nielsen were mentioned in the same paragraph it might be noted that their characters were engaged to each other on “Golden Girls.” I swear I’m not gay.

hey orson, sure you saw this already, but still need to pass it on….

       Before making a campus visit, it helps to know exactly what you’re looking for —- from the academic program you want to study to the … uh … co-eds.

“Notre Dame didn’t exactly have the best-looking chicks,” said Georgia Tech recruit Kyle Jackson of Union Grove. “Not that they were ugly, but they were not what I was looking for. There’s a big difference between Southern girls and all the others.”

forgot my footnote….that was from today’s atlanta journal-constitution.

I liked Ross’s line at the Rob Reiner roast about his wife:

I wouldn’t fuck Penny Marshall with Penny Marshall’s dick.

No offense to Tech, but wow — if Kyle Jackson thought the girls there were hot, he should have hit up ANY OTHER SOUTHERN SCHOOL for the actual hot ones.

Man, that’s wild. I actually considered naming my second kid Bea Arthur’s Johnson Points At Him. Small world.

Damn, Dave……I’m not supposed to laugh that hard at work, dude!

GatorAM, sadly true about Tech- but it’s still smack dab in the middle of Atlanta- where he can find whatever he wants. I like the Depraved Art Student/Bartender type myself.

Regarding Reggie, what he (allegedly) did used to be kosher with the NCAA until ‘87 or ’88. I’m not exactly sure why they changed the rule.

Jeff Ross, Bea Arthur, and Anna Nicole all in one:

http://www.devilducky.com/media/34687/

#20, you must love Cracker.

“Now do you have a girlfriend?
And does she look as good as you?
Hey, would she like to meet my brother?
He’ll be out of jail in a month or twoooooo.”

So we were standing, like the last rock band on the planet
Of vapor trails and alpine skies
It’s all green fields, yellow flowers, and brown liquor
Oh brown liquor

As far as I know, the world don’t spin.
They carry around you in your bed.
And they put out the stars at night.
Just to satisfy you.