GO PLAY INTRAMURALS, BROTHER!!!
Dan Hawkins reminds you that it’s Division-1 football you’re playing here. He’s also obviously miles away from switching to decaf any time soon. It’s a short clip, but very violent. You have been warned. (HT: The Daily Camera and reader Rabid Badger.)
Warning: very, very, very loud noises. Mind the volume.

IT’S DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL!!! WE KNEW WHAT WE WERE, AND WE LET US GET AWAY!!! GET DOWN OFF THE SHED BEFORE I MAKE YOU SORRY YOU WERE EVER BORN AHHHHH!!!!









1
Rabid Badger says:
Really, really have got to love that.
I kept waiting for the “Man up, Nancy!”, but alas, it never came.
February 8th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
2
Doug says:
Go play intramurals and PUCKER PUCKER PUCKER!
February 8th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
3
Travis Swenson says:
I thought only professional wrestlers were allowed to use the term of address “Brother” while screaming.
February 8th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
4
Rashaan Salaam says:
He also claimed one of his recruits was a Dirt Dog.
Cooky like HCSS – only with less teasing.
I love Hawk Love.
February 8th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
5
Moonlight Graham Cracker says:
Judging from the look on his face it appears the guy behind him is trying to give him “the shocker”
February 8th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
6
crb says:
#4 – is that considered racial slang in louisiana
February 8th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
7
Rashaan Salaam says:
The best Hawk quote ever….
“Gandhi didn’t take a knee, Martin Luther King didn’t take a knee, Thomas Edison didn’t take a knee, and I sure as hell am not going to take a knee.”
– Dan Hawkins, 2003
February 8th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
8
King Harvest says:
Sadly, Anna Nicole Smith has past away, my condolences.
In other news, Jenn Sterger says, “put me in coach”
February 8th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
9
NDinIL says:
one day, this man will coach the Irish.
February 8th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
10
Geaux Irish says:
I’m waiting for the requisite Anna Nicole cheesecake photo to appear courtesy of Stranko.
February 8th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
11
Ohiodawg says:
A real Zen master, that Hawkins.
February 8th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
12
Signal to Noise says:
I’ll throw in for Anna Nicole cheesecake, too.
Man, I love Hawkins. I know CU sucked last year, but I have this insatiable feeling of hope that he can get it going in Boulder.
Probably misplaced, but hell.
February 8th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
13
Brian says:
I can understand the cazed demeanor of these coaches. Just because you’ve got a contract doesn’t mean you’re immune from the ole’ buyout clause. The president has a more steady job than these guys.
February 8th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
14
Geaux Irish says:
Any chance Matthew McConaughey plays Dan Hawkins in a movie? He could totally nail the stoner line “Go play intramurals, brother. Go play intramurals.”
February 8th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
15
The Colossus says:
It’s division one football!
He’s just making that point clear to anyone who might have watched Colorado last year and thought that it wasn’t division one football.
28 recruits though — gotta give him credit for that..
February 8th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
16
Orangeblood says:
WHERE’S YOUR PRIDE?!?
February 8th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
17
King Harvest says:
passed, shit
February 8th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
18
Jarvis12 says:
You think that’s the speech that got them over the top against Montana State?
Very Schottenheimer of you, Dan. “Find the gleem, men!”
February 8th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
19
LD says:
Forget McConaughey. Get some hair dye and it’s Busey’s role to lose.
That “Get off the Shed” sketch might have been Ferrell’s best ever.
February 8th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
20
Brian says:
“The Great thing about recruits is, I keep gettin older, and they stay the same age.”
Busey could work though also, as he was pure cinematic genious in “North Dallas Forty.”
February 8th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
21
Brian says:
Oh shit, I meant Nick Nolte…eh what’s the difference really?
February 8th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
22
Stacy Keibler Loves Me says:
Intramurals Dept.
Do not knock intramurals!
I used to play them in college and it was not as easy as Hawkins states. Man, playing those 3s on 3s in b-ball were tough, especially after about 10 minutes, after a night of you-know-what!
February 8th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
23
d. tensor says:
It is clear that Hawkins never played a single minute of intramural* innertube water polo.
*coed
February 8th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
24
Rob says:
Hawk gets a +1 from me… that was hilarious, and entirely unexpected.
February 8th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
25
JD says:
I wish Houston Nutt could gather the Springdale Parents together and give them that rousing little speech.
February 8th, 2007 at 9:13 pm
26
Mark D says:
Wow. I guess the pressure of this dead-end job is getting to him. I think Hawkins is a good coach, but CU is a downgrade from Boise St. The faculty there like to think they’re freakin’ Swarthmore or Amherst and will never ever let him recruit. If he wins the Big XII, I predict the faculty will sign a petition that accuses him of cheating!
Oh, did anybody bother to point out that Danny-boy never played D-I football himself. He played at UC-Davis in (then) Div. II.
February 9th, 2007 at 8:37 am
27
J.J. says:
Triple-espresso enema, Orson? Holy shit, man.
February 10th, 2007 at 11:09 am
28
joe says:
what a loser.
February 10th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
29
F5Tornado says:
cu fans got what they deserved with this clown-ass. Hey Obviouse Butt, Syko, Irish Butt and all you other idiot buff-a-hole fans, you got a first hand glimpse of the “loon” when he went down to Georgia a few years back with Boise and got destroyed and then Montana State comes into folscum and kicks the buffs to the curb. More of the same in 2007.
February 10th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
30
Dano says:
It’s Josh Brolin’s role BROTHER
February 14th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
31
Because They Can says:
I take it Hawk a big Sam Kinneson fan…
February 14th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
32
Jeff Hubbard says:
The man is an idiot. I have had recruits tell me that he reacts to THEM like that. Good luck Buffs, with that mad man at the helm!
February 15th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
33
KA says:
“Unlike Hawkins, these kids aren’t being paid. “
February 15th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
34
Adam Hollmann says:
I work as an IM director and my buddies and I are passing on this clip to colleagues in field. Coach we are thankful and think your quote will make a great T-shirt next year! And it sounds like my gym rat participants have more committment than CU players, and they just want a T-Shirt.
February 16th, 2007 at 9:31 am
35
Keith says:
Hello:
Typical of parents coddling their kids, in other words…The Pussification of the American Male.
Won’t be long before these freaks will be e-mailing, calling, or approaching coaches at the professional level complaining that little Johnny is under-paid, or does not play enough…Pussies
March 12th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
36
LemonThrower says:
AND TAKE THAT PLEDGE PIN OFF YOUR UNIFORM.
September 13th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
37
Pete says:
I’d want more vacation too if I did all the work and didn’t get paid meanwhile the coach is a millionaire because of my accomplishments!
December 8th, 2008 at 9:11 am