SEEING OTHER PEOPLE: EDSBS GOES TO THE PBR

“We covered the event for Professional Bull Riding Monthly.”

This is the best sports editorial decision I’ve seen since Rolling Stone sent P.J. O’Rourke to Australia to cover the America’s Cup.

It’s a little known fact that the popular Texas slang phrase “broke dick” arose from a bull ride gone bad.

As Brian fellows would say, “That bull has devil eyes.”

I caught a PBR event in Colatown, SC once. We were right next to the pens they kept the bulls in. Mean motherfuckers that kept trying to jump/climb out. Checking out the souvenier stand, I noticed on bull had its own greatest hit video, “Witchdoctor”- no one stayed on that guy for 8 secs that night.

Keeping with the Texas theme, Orson you have got to get down to the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo (http://www.hlsr.com) if you want to see a rodeo in all of its glory.

Why was my first thought on seeing the headline – “You mean Orson & Stranko just NOW started drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon? And why?”

O/S, any chance you guys are going to be shown on TV when they broadcast the Atlanta PBR event on NBC this Saturday?

Brian Fellows!

[/guffaw]

All you guys talking about the bulls. Orson, I wish you would have gotten a better photo of the blonde on the right. The one on the left looks, to use the parlance of our times, ‘rode hard and put away wet.’

In all of these photos, those who get ridden hard have glowing tapetums. Causal or coincidence?

PBR is the NFL of rodeo: overproduced, short on action and as you note above, loooooong on sponsorship bullshit. as a college football fan, i prefer smaller regional affairs.

that said, if this rodeo fetish doesn’t burn out spectacularly in the next few months, you should consider heading out this way for the Daddy of ’Em All:

http://www.cfdrodeo.com/

as an added bonus to the americana-on-steroids awesomeness that is frontier days, college gameday legends big and rich (with cowboy troy) are the headliners this year.

“PBR is the NFL of rodeo: overproduced, short on action and as you note above, loooooong on sponsorship bullshit. "

Translation: I am a closet barrel-racer. Hold me.

Suggestion Box Dept:

No problemo with the PBR substitute coverage. Actually, that is a great idea. Just one suggestion:

More pictures of the Rodeo Babes (except the red-eyed one).

SKLM….which red-eyed one? The blonde on the left with too much makeup and too many miles on her, or the red-eyed beast in the picture immediately below the blondes? Folks from U of Wyoming might consider the latter.

Geaux Irish – Comment #13:

I meant the blonde that looks like she ought to be on TV constantly…

..not her aunt with red eyes…

…nor the bull (not that there is anything wrong with it -Wyoming fans say).

Cowgirl Dept:

Mr. Stranko, in the spirit of …

“taking the bull by the horns”..

 I took a stab at looking for hot cowgirl babes, and here is one (It is SFW, just barely figuratively and literally):

http://www.spogg.com/members/show-image.php?member=TotalLeeFree&id=239&key=67248

I don’t know, there’s something oddly appealing about the one on the left. Come to think of it I always gravitate toward the “mature/older” links on AL4A.

#11: what, is the idea of a woman on a horse threatening to you?

#17

I was perfectly happy with my penis size until you made that comparison.

:(

I took a stab at looking for hot cowgirl babes, and here is one (It is SFW, just barely figuratively and literally):

Yee, and indeed, ha!

Hey, I watch barrel racing. The women come in two flavors 1) butch 2) disgustingly gorgeous.

Hate to interrupt the ho-down but there’s some college football hilarity to be enjoyed. [Name Redacted] in some sort of bizarre version of name that tune asks what took Meyer so long and claims that he could “win that championship in 1 year”. That’s right he says that he would have won the BCS title with the Gators in 2005 if he had only been given the chance.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/recruiting/columns/story?columnist=schlabach_mark&id=2754798

Enjoy.

The bull mascot is wearing a leather vest. That’s messed up.

1. that’s the bovine version of Silence of the Lambs’ Buffalo Bill.

“It puts the lotion in the basket.”

Hey if you see a commercial for that new movie with Billy Bob Thornton tell me if he doesn’t sound just like Nick Saban in it.

SKLM, as an ND fan I used to think the day you were conceived was a waste of sperm.
  You have, however, redeemed yourself via comment 15.

I took the pictures of the buckle bunnies; believe me, they were both adorable and very attractive. I was shocked by what a bad angle I took of the girl on the left— she was much, much cuter and younger than she looks in that picture. Seriously, chalk the red eyes, odd expression and bad lighting up to my horrendous photography.

“A coach once told me it’s better to be a bad coach with good players than a good coach with bad players.”

Yet another victim of our nation’s tragic methamphetamine epidemic.

“He says eating and sleeping are a waste of time,” Mitchell said. “He says if you sleep fast, you can sleep less. I still don’t understand that one.”

PUT DOWN THE SPOON.

TCOAN, not only is he a “bad coach with good players”, but according to one of his new recruits, Zook now has the power to change his skin color too:

“Wilson told the Chicago Tribune he chose the Illini in part because Zook ’wasn’t an uptight white coach.’”

Yes, the bulls want to kick your ass.
My grandfather worked as a rodeo photographer in the 70-80’s in Montana, Wyoming and the Dakotas. Nothing like seeing ones 60 year old granfather who couldnt walk right somehow scramble up the railing while loaded down with camara equipment.
A rancher friend of mine got so pissed at his bull damaging his trucks every time he drove in the pasture that he started accelerating and ramming the bull back as it charged. No, joke.
I think these are VERY good attributes of a defensive tackle.

Um. I have no response to that.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/06/astronaut.arrested/index.html

She isn’t a Michigan alum, otherwise I can visualize UM ad next year to be something like this -
Space … bitches … Space!! I mean Space Bitches!!!

“EDSBS GOES TO THE PBR”

I love Pabst. Very underrated brew.

PBR Question:

Do the bull riders get points docked for wearing a helmet and vest with pads? It seems to me that if a bull rider is going to ride those beasts without protection, he (or she, if there are female bull riders) should get more points for being manlier.

Full Disclosure: If I had to ride one of those 2,000 pounders I would not only wear a helmet, padded vest, cup for the family jewels, but anything else that would make me look like a hockey goalie as much as possible. And, even then, I think I still might get a crack at a Buckle Bunny.

“Do the bull riders get points docked for wearing a helmet and vest with pads? "

No. Vests are required. Helmets are optional, but given what these guys do for a living, one suspects some may have worn helmets throughout their childhoods, if you know what I mean.

“It seems to me that if a bull rider is going to ride those beasts without protection, he (or she, if there are female bull riders) should get more points for being manlier.”

There are female bull riders, but not in the PBR. Women go for 6 seconds, not 8, and they can use both hands. And even the current crop of SNL writers would consider my last statement too easy to elaborate upon.

“Full Disclosure: If I had to ride one of those 2,000 pounders I would not only wear a helmet, padded vest, cup for the family jewels, but anything else that would make me look like a hockey goalie as much as possible. "

That is beacause you hate Notre Dame, and people that hate Notre Dame are empirically cowardly and small-membered.

“And, even then, I think I still might get a crack at a Buckle Bunny.”

A $200 cowboy hat will take a man much further than a $20,000 watch in that regard.

It’s “Pro Bull Rider” magazine, by the way, and we’re bi-monthly. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Nice work thus far, Senor Swindle. Glad you enjoyed the show. I think most of us would agree that if you do NOT eventually write a book of some kind, you’ll leave the world that much dimmer.

anonPBReditor – The Response Dept:

First: Thanks for answering my questions. I was especially amazed that there are ladies with more balls than men that get on those beasts.

Second: I do not hate Notre Dame. They are USC’s chief rival and even I, USC fan, would say that college football is better when ND is doing well. Since they are USC’s chief rival and tend to be quite arrogant, it is quite easy to poke fun at them, cowpoke editor.

Third: I checked out your magazine online, and just one suggestion, add more buckle babes to your covers. It looks too Brokeback Mountainish.

Fourth: Your website states that the PBR tour will be in Anaheim this weekend. I think I will go. Not to date myself, but is there a chance of any of Bodacious the Bull’s offspring being on tour right now? Not to be a spoilsport, but to me the bulls are more impressive than whatever Brazilian is skillfull enough to hang on for eight seconds…

SKLM:

Some current PBR bulls descended from Bodacious: Avalanche, Bo Howdy, Walk This Way.

Bodacious was bred to over 120 cows, though. Almost any current bull might have some of his blood.

That was an old issue of the magazine, before my time. I think you’re referring to the “Why Can’t I Quit You” issue, which was an effort to crossover to the Southern California market.

Bodacious the Bull Dept:

anonPBReditor:

I read eons ago in Sports Illustrated about the master of disaster, Bodacious. Later, I read that chocolate thunder had his own pope-mobile type vehicle taking him around to see his fans. But, he got sick and died early, that is what I remember. So, when I am at the PBR at the Honda Center this weekend, I will look out for his offspring, or whatever you call bovine decendants. If I see your publication there I might even buy it, if there are buckle babes pictures.

Funny that I know something about a bull, but have no recollection of any bull rider’s names.

Watch out for that BULL!

Regarding Brokeback Mountain, what is it with gays and straights by the way, that like to ‘dress’ like cowboys, but have never set foot on a farm or gotten on a horse…..I like the name for them – Gopher Ropers!

Girl bull riders ride for 6 seconds in women’s only events but for 8 seconds if they ride agains the guys. They do not ride bulls with both hands …. one had only.