LIVE THIS WEEK LIKE IT'S SHARK WEEK, REX.

by Orson on Feb 2, 2007 5:01 PM EST

Who do we want to win the Super Bowl? The Florida Gators, of course. The Sex Cannon will extend Peyton Manning's losing streak against Florida to four straight games, thus earning Florida not only the National Championships in men's football and basketball, but also a Super Bowl Ring for gravy's sake. (Alex Brown's on the team, too. He's the one with some of Tee Martin's brain tissue in a tiny vial hanging off his wrist.)

Paraphrasing the great Tracy Jordan here: live this week like it's shark week, Rex. We know you, and despite going 9 for 25 with a pick and a fumble, will lead the Bears to victory...all with a hangover and a bruised penis from some vicious pregame Sex Cannoning.

Go Deep, Rex. And Go Gators/Bears.

And to think we knew him when he was merely a sex mortar: Rex Grossman, Super Bowl Sex Cannon, as a gunslinging Gator.

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Go Rex…and Alex…and Ian…and ToJo!

GO BEARS!

by zzgator on Feb 2, 2007 5:07 PM EST reply actions

McCain’s Campaign: Major Donors

“Orson Swindle, consultant for Orson Swindle Associates LLC ($1,000 donation). Like McCain, Swindle is a former Vietnam prisoner of war. Swindle ran respectable but losing House campaigns in Hawaii’s 1st Congressional District in 1994 and 1996, falling to Democratic incumbent Neil Abercrombie. He later served as a member of the Federal Trade Commission.”

by John on Feb 2, 2007 5:17 PM EST reply actions

how can you be so pro rex considering how he regurally half-assed it with the gators?

by oski on Feb 2, 2007 5:25 PM EST reply actions

Grossman’s last trip to that stadium where the Dolphins play was the finest exhibition of offense involving the use of the forward pass that has ever been exibited in the modern NCAA era.

8 possessions, 8 TDs against ACC Champion Maryland. Only a first quarter curfew related suspension kept it from being worse.

Not sure that this will happen again, but the QB differential isn’t quite what the hype would have you believe.

by GoneGator on Feb 2, 2007 5:36 PM EST reply actions

The Orson Swindle Award Bukkake of the past week prompted me to check out Wikipedia…Apparently EDSBS really is bigtime now.

by Crazy Joe on Feb 2, 2007 5:44 PM EST reply actions

You’re the Pride and Joy of Illinois
Chicago Bears, Bear Down!!!!!!

by J.J. on Feb 2, 2007 5:52 PM EST reply actions

Your obsession with the sexual prowess of Rex Grossman has now officially gone beyond creepy, and entered the Theisman Zone. Please put the ovaries back in to storage and act like males of the species. Thanks.

by Sam on Feb 2, 2007 6:00 PM EST reply actions

Go COLTS!!!!

by The Conscience of a Nation on Feb 2, 2007 6:21 PM EST reply actions

Bad week for horses.

by Orangeblood on Feb 2, 2007 6:28 PM EST reply actions

Sam, google kissing suzy kolber, hit the first link and you’ll undestand the majesty of the Sex Cannon, the cumslinger of Gator, Bear lore.

by Zook Line and Sinker on Feb 2, 2007 7:00 PM EST reply actions

Rex is going to have a Throwgasm all over Miami, sending the greater Miami-Dade area into throes of Rextasy. And it’s going to be awesome.

by italiangator on Feb 2, 2007 8:23 PM EST reply actions

4 straight games? Although he didn’t start, he played significant time in the ‘94 31-0 Neyland raping, he deserves some credit for that, because, well, he should. And don’t forget that his rookie year with the colts, Danny W. started a Saints game and beat him head to head (again). So, really, this would by loss 5.5 or 6 in a row, right?

by Ltrain on Feb 3, 2007 10:17 AM EST reply actions

Don’t forget about Ian Scott and Todd Johnson, both of whom should see some playing time for Da Bearss in the Bowl. Four Gators should be sporting Super Bowl rings after tomorrow.

by MattD on Feb 3, 2007 12:27 PM EST reply actions

Bad week for horses.

Greatest comment Evah! I got a question: are they gonna start a Barbaro-style message board for the Colts if they lose?

by J.J. on Feb 3, 2007 2:02 PM EST reply actions

Another bucastache seen in The Columbus Dispatch. Man wanted in connection with arson charges(setting fires to funeral homes, one fatal). Wearing buckeye hat, and sporting the new university stache!
Keep hatin boys, make columbus burn!!!!!!
Hey if you want a good laugh head over to the OSU scout board and check out how buckeye fan can’t understand why florida fans keep coming to their board to flame. In there minds it is NOT because OSU themselves seemingly do so to everyother school on earth. Also, firing Jimmy T(former god like figure) is a good idea too.

by dirtdickens on Feb 3, 2007 6:49 PM EST reply actions

Dear Peyton,

My big baby boy. The doctors say you had a wonderful day today. Me and Muffin, Scruffy, Mr. Buttons, Jeet, Snarf, Scrappy, Jokey, Hefty, Brainy, Zangief, Leandra, Katrina, Paco, Destiny, Destinee, Destinie, Anestophles, Ludwig, Sr. Muchacho, Ellen, Portia and Guam are all praying for you. Grow passing lanes grow! Affirmed.

Dee Mirich

by NoleinTexas on Feb 3, 2007 8:09 PM EST reply actions

I’d like to sign up for the “Fuck It, I’m Goin’ Deep Fan Club.”

Bears 24-20, and Rextasy will be awarded the key to vaginas across the nation.

by Signal to Noise on Feb 4, 2007 12:02 AM EST reply actions

I hope Mr. Brown and Mr. Anderson plant Petting Manning permanently in the terf at Joe Pro Robbie Player Stadium.

Oh, and we need to get to work on that Wiki page, they’re threatening to take it down! How the hell can they even think about taking down the Wiki page on the greatest blog in the world about the greatest sport in the world. I mean, seriously, who are these people??

by RedTide on Feb 4, 2007 11:21 AM EST reply actions

You know, after the AFC Championship, I was so emotionally exhausted that I wondered how I’d work up the requisite emotion for today’s game. Then I remembered Grossman’s alma mater. It’s always nice to have that seething hatred to fall back on.

by Holly on Feb 4, 2007 12:05 PM EST reply actions