You don’t make mosaics without breaking a little pottery. Here’s today’s fine tilework.

Before Photoshop, life was a dull, grey waste, filled with marauding hyenas and only the chill of the north wind to keep you company. Via the standard chain of labyrinthine links (Heisgirl to BurntOrangeNation to hyah) we have Reggie Bush’s latest fumble, again proving that life before Photoshop for the cartoonishly-minded fan was a dark, cold place with little comfort besides food and the promise of a peaceful suicide on the desolate steppes.

Heisgirl’s headline is the winning side dish to the image: “This morning I woke up to a Reggie Bush probe.”


Reggie’s latest fumble: to be recovered by VY, or just vacated?

Muppet News reports. The ND Nation suicide alert has, in light of Trattou’s defecting to the United States of Florida,
been raised to Orange, citizens. Take note and avoid sidewalks around tall office buildings in the Chicago area.

And you can go to prom! With the high school girlfriend you’ve thought about marrying! Why miss that when you can be dating college girls who want no attachments, right? Colin Dunlap of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette asks what’s so great about early enrollment, anyway?

Maybe I’m just too “old school” for my own good…Nonetheless, I’ll go on record and say it — I’m not a big fan of the latest craze in college football recruiting. This whole “graduating early and enrolling in college in January” business puzzles me to the core.

Somewhere, Colin’s got an old school letter jacket in a closet, and a class ring we’d wager, too. If he’s as old-school as he says, he’s also definitely writing this poised over his Tandy 300, dookie roll perched around his neck, drinking ginseng tea and pondering the mysteries of the universe while sipping some Old Gold.

Dunlap’s also likely not thinking about the fact that you could skip all the hokey high school crap, jump straight to college, start lifting weights, getting on with your life, and immediately begin your new life as a relatively independent collegiate manwhore/D-1 recruit instead of combing through the perfunctory dregs of your high school for another six months obeying curfew, sleeping in your parents’ house, and clocking meaningless hours in the same rat-trap you’ve already spent three and a half years pacing around in. But we’re just new school, we guess.

–The Annual Lloyd Carr Retirement Rumor Surfaces–SHOOT IT, SHOOOOOOT IT! This time via In The Bleachers, where a tweak to Carr’s compensation is noted in the Ann Arbor News as making a hypothetical Carr departure easier. That Carr’s in a position as a respected coach in a program emphatic about stability and tradition to retweak should be noted; in effect, no evidence of anyone but Carr having any sway over the decision has emerged. In the Big Ten, a coach like Carr could likely stay as long as he likes. Slap four zillion pounds on him, squeeze him into some cheap khakis and an orange golf shirt, and put him at Tennessee, and we’re talking about some entirely different produce, here.

This be some bull shit. SMQ tops his Chris Fowler diary with a revealing interview with Arrelious Benn. The payoff’s worth the whole article.

Really. We’re totally 8th. Perhaps you could take an interest in basketball? Frank Broyles, AD at Arkansas, lays out a persuasive case for Arkansas football in a Dallas alumni meeting. (Summary message: “Hey, assholes, we’re eighth in the conference at best! Back off!”) Teapot hysteria as only local news can give follows:

The sperm lottery pays out again. Mike Shula gets another job. Completely on his own merits using only the evidence represented by his resume and professional record. No other influences. At all. Nope.

Completely unrelated and screamingly funny terminology grab. Should we ever suspect someone of taking cocaine, we will simply refer to them as “partying with Dr. Rockso.”

They say it’s gonna snow! Gonna put White Christmas up mah nose…