RECRUITING CHART #2: FLORIDA STATE, ILLINOIS, PENN STATE

Love means never having to say your sorry? From today’s Recruitniks wires:

“Deep down in my heart, I love coach [NAME REDACTED]…When I had to break the news to him, it hurt me a little bit”

So [name redacted] comes from the Jackie Sherrill and Ronnie Cotrell school of “kruiting”.

As a Bama fan, I suggest you pay for someone who:

A. is an orphan. No parents to flap their gums.

B. is able to score a touchdown. Defensive tackles need not apply.

C. is not affiliated with a coach that Monty Hall would learn a few things from.

chm , Alabama recruitniks certainly don’t do by halves:

http://www.postherald.com/ba072305.shtml

Getting bronzed by Jenn Sterger is like a night of heavy drinking. It feels good at the time, but there’ll be hell to pay afterwards.

It was overturned on appeals. That was a jury of Alabama alumni not smart enough to get off of jury duty. Cotrell was doing the same thing at FSU but the Gator and Canes fans never caught on. That or the NAZICAA never chose to pursue it.

Cotrell was definitely paying folks. Chris Samuels signs with Bama and the NEXT day shows up at school with a brand new SUV, c’mon. He said his mom got a great rate on a loan.wink wink

I say good riddance to all of them. If you can’t sell Alabama for just being Alabama, you can’t do your job. Mike Shula was no head coach but the guy and his staff could recruit. As best I can tell, he did above the board. If Shula was paying folks, he would’ve had a Brinks truck at Tiny Tim’s house. Instead he just begged.

“That egg sandwich could have killed you by cholesterol.”

“Pfft, forget it, Homer. While it has been established that eggs contain cholesterol, it has not yet been proven conclusively that they actually raise the level of serum cholesterol in the human blood stream.”

“So one of those Egg Council creeps got to you too, huh?”

CHM, don’t disagree re: Cottrell. But Samuels was lightly recruited, wasn’t he? Surely we weren’t paying 2-star o-linemen brand new luxury SUVs. Then again, we allegedly paid $150K for an out-of-shape, dumb-as-a-clod-of-dirt D-lineman, so anything’s possible.

chm,

Half soap opera. Half Caine Mutiny. Gives ’em sumpin to do at that end of the gene pool.

http://www.decaturdaily.com/decaturdaily/sports/050715/trial.shtml

The Most Surprising Item:

No, it wasn’t the Jenn Sterger fake tan comment. Though, most of us would see that as a treat and not a joke. Well, maybe just me!

It was that there is a Starbuck at Penn State. I thought that the hick town where Penn State is located is limited to McDonalds and Burger King as their ‘fancy’ national chain eating and drinking establishments.

Anyone who refers to “fancy” and “national chain eating and drinking establishments” in the first place seems like a real smart guy.

Mm Starbuck [sic].

Regarding Chris Samuels:

Chris was best buds with Kelvin Sigler, a highly recruited DB. Kelvin’s mother passed away during his senior year and Kelvin told Bama’s coaches he wouldn’t go to Bama without Chris.

Sorry I forgot to mention the fact that Kelvin was driving a nicer SUV, except nobody knows who got the “loan at a great rate” for him.

Okay, first of all, the food would be spaghetti with red sauce (although the hub does make amazingly good scrambled eggs) – it’s a well known fact that if a kid’s mamma can make decent sauce (Joe did marry a German girl), the kid will play – so the foundation of the meeting would be over a big plate of noodles and probably some garlic bread.

Joe is rarely seen downtown – sometimes you’ll see him at the supermarket, but never with a recruiting prospect – Good call on the poor driving skills except there isn’t any “any more” – Joe’s never been a good driver.

It’s pretty cold in State College right now – so they’d probably get chills just about anywhere outside.

CHM,

Ronnie Cottrell recruited neither Chris Samuels, nor Kelvin Sigler for UA, so I’m afraid your story has a pretty significant hole. That, and I believe the Samuels “new SUV” story is a load of shit.

To clarify, Ronnie Cottrell was not employed by the University of Alabama at the time Chris Samuels and Kelvin Sigler were being recruited.

Finally, I got a link for Willie heading to Louisville although its buried at the bottom of the article. This man deserves front page coverage, at least, with all the lobster and steak he can eat.

http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/sports/16530626.htm

Gotcha. So Sterger marks her territory….

Rain,

I was mistaken to leave Ivy Williams out of that part. But as for the SUVs, bank on it. I puffed on a blunt or twelve in Kelvin’s. He wouldn’t say how he got it. Yet considering his ride for the first three years at Shaw was a big yellow bus. It’s not a stretch. Never knew Chris too well but Kelvin had no problem telling everyone that Chris wasn’t going to get left behind. Then Chris comes rolling in a new ride.

Yep, SKLM, Starbucks as a national branded fine restaurant is like going to Red Lobster for seafood when in New Orleans (or Baton Rouge).

Well, I can tell you that, with Cottrell (and Ivy Williams) on board, Bama signed an all-world OL, who was still driving the same beat-up truck his junior year at UA that he had during high school.

Don’t know about Sigler’s ride, but I can assure you that if Chris Samuels was given anything, it wasn’t part of his recruitment (i.e., someone may have helped him out after he came in and contributed early in his career).

In any event, just wanted to clarify.

Regardless, it’s very old news and I’m glad to see them (Young, Cotrell, and Williams) all gone. Some further than others. They may have had good intentions but they set the program back for years. I’ve always thought that those three guys did more for Auburn than any ten top notch players ever did for them.

They were all absolute clowns.

Someone forgot specify that it’s BAREFOOT waterskiing in a lake full of cash.

Would someone PLEASE tell me how this became an Alabama recruiting thread? And not a good one. No, it had to be about Cockroll and IV Williams… couldn’t get a good story about a guy who knows a guy who’s brother’s girlfriend’s sister has been asked to “escort” Joe McKnight around Tuscaloosa on the 26th.

Is it a lake of cash or Scrooge McDuck’s vault?

I have to say I can’t wait for the Michigan roundup. … And the Ohio State one, too, I guess.

Not the standard Bama threadjack. Mike also mentioned Pitt’s Sherrill (played for Bear Bryant):

“Maybe it was the three visits each week Assistant Coach Jackie Sherrill made for six straight months. Maybe, even, it was the homemade rhubarb pie Sherrill’s mother hand-delivered to make sure the player [Dorsett] didn’t go hungry during recruiting visits”.

http://www.umc.pitt.edu/pittmag/fall2006/feature2.html

It was that there is a Starbuck at Penn State. I thought that the hick town where Penn State is located is limited to McDonalds and Burger King as their ‘fancy’ national chain eating and drinking establishments.

Actually, Starbucks is pretty new – but State College isn’t exactly a hick town. It’s more like a small European town that got thrown into hicksville, and periodically looks around at the surroundings and says “aaaahhh! what the hell are those things!” at surrounding towns.

Way too many independent restaurants (some of the $70/person variety, just a block down from the Taco Bell) and stores to be a hick town.

And trust me, Starbucks is a national chain. I have seen them in armpit-of-hell backwater towns.

Georgia Tech Cheet Sheet

Welcome Activity:

You have 5 minutes to complete the following. If you cannot finish, directions to Athens are in the back of the room.

The twice differential function f is defined for all real numbers and satisfies the following conditions: f(0) = 2, f’(0) = -4, f’’(0) = 3

Given g(x) = e^ax + f(x) for all real numbers where a is constant find g’(0) and g"(0) in terms of a. Show your work.

Food: Genetically modified nuclear steamed vegetables, laser seared cloned Alaskan Salmon, Tang, homemade Sweet potato pie. After party: college bell filled with a barrel of rum, sugar 3000 lbs, and whiskey clear.

Strippers: Uhhh…The Cheetah is a block off campus. PS – don’t tell Chan.

The Chill Moment: Basking in the glow of Calvin Johnson’s empty, soiled uniform.

The Pitch: Reggie Ball has no more eligibility and we still almost beat Georgia the past 3 years. Plus, no one’s really gonna to be free until nerd persecution ends.

Blowjobs: Too dangerous for girls with braces to give head.

Swag: HP calculator, Autographed OutKast CD, “You Can’t Play Football Without Gravitational Physics” bumper sticker

Georgia Tech Cheat Sheet

Welcome Activity:

You have 5 minutes to complete the following. If you cannot finish, directions to Athens are in the back of the room.

The twice differential function f is defined for all real numbers and satisfies the following conditions: f(0) = 2, f’(0) = -4, f’’(0) = 3

Given g(x) = e^ax + f(x) for all real numbers where a is constant find g’(0) and g"(0) in terms of a. Show your work.

Food: Genetically modified nuclear steamed vegetables, laser seared cloned Alaskan Salmon, Tang, homemade Sweet potato pie. After party: college bell filled with a barrel of rum, sugar 3000 lbs, and whiskey clear.

Strippers: Uhhh…The Cheetah is a block off campus. PS – don’t tell Chan.

The Chill Moment: Basking in the glow of Calvin Johnson’s empty, soiled uniform.

The Pitch: Reggie Ball has no more eligibility and we still almost beat Georgia the past 3 years. Plus, no one’s really gonna to be free until nerd persecution ends.

Blowjobs: Too dangerous for girls with braces to give head.

Swag: HP calculator, Autographed OutKast CD, “You Can’t Play Football Without Gravitational Physics” bumper sticker

Cool Hand Mike your story is full of crock.
1. Cottrell didn’t recruit either of these guys and DuBose wasn’t the head coach at the time they were being recruited by Bama.
2. Sigler was driving a Toyota Corolla and Samuels was driving an old Nissan Pathfinder. I wouldn’t put the world luxury in the same sentence with either of their vehicles.