Everyday Should Be Saturday

January 18, 2007

BLOGTOBERFEST! COLT BRENNAN IMPROBABLY PREFERS HAWAII EDITION.

The cheese plate, if cheese were information flowing through the RSS reader.

–Brian’s counting down the top ten college football moments of the year, because Yakety Sax never, ever gets old. We’re sure the top ten will also include this:

–In coaching searches, the interview process usually generates more interest and insight than the eventual announcement of the winning candidate. Lane Kiffin impressed at his interview for the Minnesota head coaching position, but didn’t get the job, which went instead to Someone Named Tim Brewster, which is exactly how we’ll refer to him from now on. Charlie Strong also got an interview, a boon for the SEC because it shows that major programs outside of the South pass on the opportunity to hire obviously talented young coaches simply because they are black*.

–Speaking in the key of race-baiting: sportswriters may rejoice that Charlie Weis is still white and Ty Willingham remains black, since it’s great fodder for filler columns. And in same article, see Bob Davie, announcer! Aficionado of ze camel hair jacket! Possessor of an unusually shaped cranium! And lastly, partisan ex-employee par excellance:

`When you lose to Michigan, you lose to USC and you lose to LSU in a bowl game by a significant score, there will be ramifications from that for Charlie Weis,” Davie told ESPN radio, according to the Chicago Tribune.

“I think the shine is off, to be quite honest. I know going around the country talking to football coaches, particularly head coaches, I think a little bit of the mystique is definitely off.”

Pretty strong stuff. But Davie wasn’t finished.

“It’s hard to say Notre Dame improved this year with probably the No. 1 player in the NFL draft, (quarterback) Brady Quinn, with (receiver) Jeff Samardzija, with potentially five first-round NFL draft picks,” Davie said. “I don’t think they’re as good a team as they were last year. On defense they continued to go backwards.

“Notre Dame has had two successful seasons, two BCS bowl games in a row, but I think it’s hard to say that the program is really going in a positive direction right now.”

Again, EDSBS is not liable for all damages incurred by flying office clutter or computer equipment tossed across cubicles upon reading that. Any and all inquiries may be addressed to John Wilner at Mercury News. Your cooperation is appreciated.


Sunscreen! Sunscreen, goddammit! WEAR IT BEFORE THE SUN STRIPS THE FLESH OFF YOUR SKULL!!!

–Ole Miss is hiring a defensive coordinator, the lackluster John Thompson. Thompson should be remembered as the man whose ‘bucket ‘a minnows’ defense (more…)

TALLAHASSEE JUST WENT UP A CUP SIZE.

Tallahassee just got chestier: Chuck Amato, deposed head coach at NC State, will be rejoining the Seminole coaching staff as linebackers’ guru after his colorful sabbatical in NC. In addition to his mighty gazongas, Amato will be bringing his trademark red shoes and sunglasses to the Florida State sidelines, ensuring that Florida State will have the highest “totally unnecessary fashion accessory” quotient of any coaching staff in the land. This will surely assist them in efforts to recruit the finest safari-hat-wearing, goofy-footwear-lovin’ recruits in the land, a crucial demographic eluding Florida State recruiting efforts over the past few years.


Good FSU players love bad hats. It’s a matter of natural law.

Bowden went on to praise Amato’s return, saying “He’d missed his son, just like he misses all of them, whatever their names are.” When reminded that Amato is not actually related to them, Bowden appeared confused, angry, and then spoke about firing Amato for lying on his resume. FSU handlers then quickly dosed Bowden with applesauce injections, placed a Shelby Foote history in his hands, and hurried him away from the flashbulbs and press.

Kevin at Fanblogs is elated over the coaching staff changes, though, even if Amato, new offensive coordinator Jimbo Fisher, and new offensive line coach Rick Trickett are all not in fact related to Bowden, a prior condition for employment at the university. (Don’t tell Bobby this. Seriously. You’ll have to crack out the applesauce gun again, and it’s not a pretty sight.) Rick Trickett brings an especially fresh perspective, since he’s got Florida State pulling offers from 340 lb. behemoths and opting for the lighter rhino-type lineman who can move and block simultaneously, an unheard-of practice in Tallahassee under the prior management.

(We remind you that Jeff Bowden will be paid Florida State money for sucking until the year 2012. Six figures of it each year, actually. This message brought to you by Base, Loathsome Human Power Dynamics, Ltd: Bringing Ugly Politics Back to Humanity since 1973.)

SMQ reminds us that despite an impressive degree of linebacking tutelage, Amato was also partially culpable for the Seminole Rap. Pay particularly close attention to John Brown, number 50. He’s the guy with the Farva mustache who bites a big wheel in the weight room and sports the Palm Beach wraparounds you normally see on tottering retirees praying for death. Ignore Deion–that Brown guy’s got, like, Bubba Sparxx style potential.

I like to stand ‘em up, and knock ‘em down.

NUTT MAKING FRIENDS, INFLUENCING PEOPLE.

The fallout from Mustaingate in Arkansas continues. After losing his offensive coordinator and the star recruit he brought with him, Houston Nutt has new friends in the press he never realized. And by press, we mean complete enemies who take out ads in the paper asking for his resignation. If you’re not sitting below the Mason-Dixon line right now and you’re wondering: do I care too much about football? The answer is no. You’re fine.

We’re hopeless cases, though. 12 steps wouldn’t get us off the front porch of our estate of addiction.

From page 21 of today’s Arkansas Democrat-Gazette (Belated HT: Will):

Houston Nutt: making friends, influencing people.

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