Our Mustache of the Day today: Chris Leak, who grew from a boy to a man this season before our very eyes. Take the mantle of manhood, therefore, and prosper, sir. Your mustache is bestowed:

We thought he needed the soul patch. It just kinda…works, right?

Numerous corrections follow. Bear with the italics, but as always, our errors remain public record.

The Fulmer Cup season began on the sounding of the gun, um…yesterday, to be precise. We’ll revisit the points system tomorrow, but for a top ten preseason Fulmer Cup poll, DevilGrad is all over this on Miami Hawk Talk.

He’s leaning towards traditional powers–Miami, Tennessee–but we would remind you that Dennis “Old Smuggler” Erickson is back on the prowl, and if there’s one thing his teams do better than stealing the cream of the junior college crop, it’s stealing hearts. And cars. Arizona State is our surefire dark horse for the ‘07 Fulmer Cup, if past performance is any indicator of future success.

Dennis Erickson, who survived driving a golf cart into Kiluaea during the Hula Bowl, could take the Sun Devils to Fulmer Cup greatness.

An example, just to break in the new readers on the exquisite intricacies of Fulmer Cup scoring, follows:

Ryan Perrilloux, former all-continent quarterback in high school who had the bad fortune to play behind Jamarcus Russell, Matt Flynn, and an allegedly nasty attitude, has three outstanding warrants for Driving While Intoxicated.Traffic Violations. All of these date back from during the season, so thus cannot apply to Fulmer Cup ‘07.

In fact, we’ll knock off one just because having one outstanding warrant for DWI is mandatory for all residents of Louisiana. Actually, since Perriloux is just dealing with traffic tickets, hell, we’ll knock off two here, since who doesn’t have a few of these lying around? You? What, you want a gold star for being Mr. “I don’t park in the fire lane?” Here, Lisa Simpson. Gold star for you, Johnny McNerdley.

On the 1 being piddly stuff and 5 being murder of the shot-in-the-face, “RIVERSIDE MOTHERFUCKER!!!” variety, DWI ranks at about a two. (Unless you drive through a chemical plant while doing it, setting off a fire destroying the entire town. Obviously, more points are needed.) No single crime goes above a five, though modifiers may be added as style points.

Traffic violations warrants, specialty of the Georgia Bulldogs, get a point each. Minor, but games are won and lost at the margins.

Perrilloux, in this case, would only be given 4 2 points. These points are then awarded to the tally of the university as a whole, and are tracked throughout the season on the Fulmer Cup Scoreboard.

Now if Perriloux were involved in something reeeeaaaalllly spectacular–a counterfeiting operation involving a casino, say–now that would mean serious points, including an OMG Secret Service Modifier of one point. But that’s just picking one out of the blue with no connection to reality whatsoever.

I’m not NOT laundering money. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

It’s award time! Orchestra, bitte.

Now that your brain’s thoroughly cleansed…

The College Football Blogger Awards are comin’ round the bend. Joel’s got the explanations and bylaws up at Rocky Top Talk; Brian’s got round one of the nominations; and Peter’s got a full bushel ready over at Burnt Orange Nation. The Mayor will be along with another round later today.

And without further ado…

The Dr. Z Award

FOR: Cogent, interesting analysis.

CRITERIA: Emphasis placed on statistical manipulation, well researched pieces that reveal something new, and/or solid argumentative pieces that function as the authoritative last word on a subject.

NOMINEES:

Burnt Orange Nation
Dawg Sports
MGoBlog
Sunday Morning Quarterback
Blue Gray Sky
Mark May Be Wrong

The Brady Quinn Award

FOR: The prettiest blog, the best layout and design.

CRITERIA: An aesthetic appeal, whether from a stylish banner, a pleasing layout, or an eye-catching incorporation of blog technology.

NOMINEES:

Bevo Sports
Men of the Scarlet and Gray
Buckeye Commentary
Rocky Top Talk
Trojan Wire

The Jay Sherman Award

FOR: The blog best keeping tabs on the man and calling out all of the injustices in the college football world.

CRITERIA: Consistently ahead-of-the-curve on controversial issues in college football.

NOMINEES:

Braves and Birds
Mark May Be Wrong
The Corporate Headquarters of the San Antonio Gunslingers
The Wizard of Odds

EDIT!!! We left out a great one here: The Job.

The Job Award

FOR: The blog that has suffered through its chosen team’s dismal season with the most dignity.

CRITERIA: Continued engagement in the face of crippling, misery-inducing defeat. A stiff-upper lip and sane reaction to everything crumbling to dust.

NOMINEES:

Scalp Em
Orange 44
Bruins Nation
State Fans Nation
Hey Jenny Slater
Virginia Fanhouse

The must-have t-shirt for the die-hard, Molly-Hatchet-lovin’ Gator fanatic follows. The back reads “73-57, 41-14.”

All your trophies are belong to us. And the celebration continues. Confidentially, we haven’t worn pants since Monday night.

Keeping with our women of univision theme for the year, here you go… and GO GATORS!!!

In the department of ill-advised championship celebrations: a streaker crossing University Avenue forgot both his clothes and good sense during the championship festivities in Gainesville early Tuesday morning. The man ran into a car, hitting his head on the windshield and giving him “possibly life-threatening injuries.” (HT: Miguel.)

We hope he’s okay–even seriously injured fools are still seriously injured–but more than ever this reinforces the need for a manual for this kind of thing. Remember a few key elements of streaking: look both ways, stay away from the hot dog warmers if you’re coming down through the stands, and remember that dogs go after to points on the body: the throat, and the genitals. EDSBS officially recommends rolling over, covering your genitals, and turtling up to give the dog only the option of biting the more durable back of the neck should this happen.

However: if the unthinkable becomes the unendurable, give them your throat. They might lose interest due to the lack of screaming due to the crushed windpipe, and let you go. This will not happen with the other option.

Remember: if you streak, you may receive a visit from man’s best friend. This might beat walking head first into a car, though.

The final ballot for this season. Keep in mind that we’re going absolute value/resume, here: each team is ranked by where we think their absolute value is at the end of the season divided by their overall resume. Toss in a whiff of their bowl finish, and you’ve got the order.

Note: like all our ballots, it’s a weeping mess.

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Florida	25
2	Boise State	24
3	LSU	23
4	Southern Cal	22
5	Ohio State	21
6	Wisconsin	20
7	Louisville	19
8	West Virginia	18
9	Michigan	17
10	Auburn	16
11	Rutgers	15
12	Oklahoma	14
13	Texas	13
14	Wake Forest	12
15	Brigham Young	11
16	California	10
17	Arkansas	9
18	Hawaii	8
19	Georgia	7
20	Virginia Tech	6
21	Notre Dame	5
22	Oregon State	4
23	Penn State	3
24	Boston College	2
25	Texas Tech	1

The one spot. Florida, natch. Derrick Harvey just stole Troy Smith’s car, and Troy thanked him for it.

Boise at two. This is as much a protest vote as it is a reflection of Boise’s ability to win under the duress of being a smallish program going undefeated, even when matched against superior competition in their bowl game. Boise, in theory, deserves at least the icing off the national title game. Them not getting the chance to be “the George Mason” of the proposed playoff tourney is one more reason Jim Delany should be thrown in a vat of starving minks.

LSU #3, USC #4. Both destroyed opposition in their bowl games, an indicator that the better matchup would have been for these two to play each other. A dispirited Michigan crew and hopelessly outmatched Notre Dame squad fluff the feathers a bit for both of these chickens; however, their glittering shelves of blue chippers, coaching staffs,and records during the season validate a mini-tie here. LSU gets the nod because we saw them in person versus the national champs, and USC lost to Oregon State and UCLA, two teams = not real good.

Ohio State, gimme five! Coasted through a down Big Ten and then got exposed as slowish on the lines and inflexible in gameplanning. Never really tarred and feathered anyone of substance during the season, and snuck in on Texas before Colt McCoy realized his own awesomeness. After watching the game on Monday, run the hypotheticals in your head between Ohio State and anyone of the above (save the protest vote with Boise, of course.) Would it have looked drastically different with any of them? Would OSU have beaten any of them? We say nay.

The rest:

A strong tailwind helps. Wisconsin bumps upward because of their mean finish. The Big East, 5-0 in their admittedly choice bowl scheduling, remains in a clot just above and around Michigan. (You think a WVU/Michigan game wouldn’t have been a 49-42 scorefest? And that Lloyd Carr wouldn’t have done something conservative that would have hobbled their chances at winning? And that Rich Rodriguez wouldn’t have pulled some fake punt/hook and ladder/Kobayashi Maru scenario widget out of his playbook to win it?)

Other teams gusting up: WOOOO HAWAII! Underdog sympathies float them high, but they looked shockingly physical against Pac-10 competition, and Colt Brennan on further review may not be the second coming of Timmy Chang/Kliff Kingsbury/David Klingler/system qb reaping benefits of pass-wackiness vs. weak scheduling. Mormon nice fellas BYU got downright rude against Oregon to rise here, and Georgia pulled a MacGyver, using a roll of duck tape, some spare nuts and bolts, and two tablespoons of peanut butter to make a bomb and blow their way into the polls at the end of the season.

And Oregon State went for two to win their bowl game, which just deserves some kind of testicular bonus points.

And going limp never impressed anyone, especially Tera Patrick. For those who got to the big scene and couldn’t perform, consequences are harsh: Notre Dame, Virginia Tech (though we really wish we could write in subscript the name “Sean Glennon” here,) and Arkansas all feel the wrath of the scorned pollster porn starlet, who can find someone else to do her scene with, thank you very much.

Yarr. Texas Tech comes back from 38-7 to win 44-41 and get Glen “If I Only Had a Stadium” Mason fired. If you have to have fun with the 25 spot, it must be Texas Tech.