There’s only one carcass to feed off today, vultures. And it’s got our team in it. The roundup of the reekingest bits of carrion from around the wilds of the internets.

–A judge in Columbus freed up space in the budgets of 34 people convicted of general Buckeye-themed mayhem after the Michigan game in November by sentencing them to community service on Monday, January 8th. For the calendar-impaired, that’s today, meaning they’ll be picking up monkey poo at the zoo instead of chugging Southpaw Lite in the parking lot at Glendale. Subcommandante Wayne says he’s bummed, especially because he’s going to have to take the bus thanks to Mom needing the Grand Am.


The Subcommandante: bummed about cleaning the tiger cage, missing first quarter because of the slowass bus ‘n shit.

–SMQ has been on this game like Sweatervest on sweatervests. Read it all because he is a genius–Orwell with a football problem. We cannot write it any clearer: if you do not like this man’s writing, you may feed yourself arm first into the garbage disposal without objection from us.

–Mike Wise waxes poetic on Tim Tebow…

Running like a fawn out of the womb, his legs and arms all agape and only green in front in him, Tebow is the golden child. He is the train in the distance, the majestic locomotive capable of transporting Florida’s alumni and students to a utopian place in the sport.

…and blows the smattering of boos Chris Leak got in the Kentucky game to hyperbolic proportions, confirming the stereotype that any and all stories told by 90% of major columnists must be rendered in Manichean terms even Mel Gibson would identify as “unsubtle.” All the column’s missing is a few human sacrifices and a vivisected Leak in a kilt screaming “FREEDOM” at the end.

–Todd Jones (not of Rollbamaroll, but of the Columbus Dispatch) reminds Buckeye fans that they may have never enjoyed success on the scale they’re enjoying now. Mr. Jones was beaten into a coma by the ghost of Woody Hayes shortly after typing this.

–The St. Pete Times’s special section on the game is busting at the seams with content. Unsurprisingly for fans of the mightiest mid-major paper in the nation, it’s mostly high-grade stuff, including the piece on Mr. Two Bits and their own Factor Sixish preview.


Dorks on parade? Sure. But at least they got free tickets, and you don’t.

–Buckeye Commentary’s posted a detailed position analysis where, shock of shocks, they point out to the masses that the Florida offense does not completely suck.