WHAT WE LEARNED TODAY: FOOTBALL W/O QB = GOOD(NOT)
What did we learn today?
–Auburn makes tasty sausage victory out of nasty bits of football scraps.
–Tennessee can’t run in the SEC, or against the Big Ten.
–JoePa likes it up in the booth, especially since he can watch old episodes of Barnaby Jones and enjoy a nice glass of scotch during the game without everyone getting all tightassed on him.
–Arkansas has not changed a bit at all in any way–for the worse.
–Wisconsin hasn’t either–for the better.
–The Big Ten doesn’t suck at all, but playing football without a quarterback does.
–Do not play West Virginia in a bowl game. You will lose in aorta-damaging fashion and shave three years off your life in the process.
–Chan Gailey owes Calvin Johnson millions.
–Phil Fulmer, wallowing in his sorrows, was just shot with a harpoon gun as he attempted to wash his cares away with a swim just off Clearwater Beach.
We’re watching the Rose Bowl sans blogging. See you Tuesday.

Bravo, Penn State, to your fans and to that half-assed craft project you call a mascot.









1
Run Up The Score says:
Thanks. I think. Just nice to see Penn State win against a top 25 team this season, and always nice to see Phil Fulmer lose.
January 1st, 2007 at 5:39 pm
2
Jim Tressel says:
The Michigan Band is playing “Stairway to Heaven” during the Halftime Show.
RIP, Gerry.
You stay classy, Wolverines.
January 1st, 2007 at 6:33 pm
3
baconboy says:
Here’s what else we learned today…I went to the Cotton Bowl today (mom’s an AU alumnus, fiancee’s family is all Nebraska, and I’m a Gator) and I discovered that Nebraska might be the whitest place in the country and they seem to think it’s funny. The Nebraska band’s two songs? One by the Average White Band and the other by Wild Cherry, “Play that Funky Music (White Boy).” They basically flaunted their overbearing whiteness and as far as I could tell the only persons of color in the band was one Asian dude playing the xylophone.
On the other hand, we went to the stadium without tickets and some nice Nebraska guy gave us three for free.
And Callahan’s fake punt call was as boneheaded a call as I’ve seen all year. It’s one thing to do that if you are behind and can’t get anything going, but when you are tied? Just stupid.
January 1st, 2007 at 6:53 pm
4
Johnny says:
Holy Schmitt!!!
January 1st, 2007 at 6:59 pm
5
Nick says:
JoePa went and made a sandwich with their cheese. Also, does he get an honorary degree from Florida for defeating Florida State and Tennessee the last two years?
January 1st, 2007 at 7:00 pm
6
Rocket Screen says:
I’m pretty sure that’s the same lame-o mascot costume they’ve had since at least the late ’60s.
January 1st, 2007 at 7:17 pm
7
Stockman says:
Rose Bowl = The only time I’ll ever be rooting for USC. Ever.
Go Gators.
January 1st, 2007 at 7:33 pm
8
milevin says:
The Cardinals gassed Denny Green. Think Mal Moore has the stones to offer him $2 million a year when Nick Saban tells Bama to stick it?
January 1st, 2007 at 7:34 pm
9
PW says:
Are we still counting these games as “wins” for JoePa and Bowden? Shouldn’t there be some minimum amount of plays/defenses called or actual attention paid to the game?
January 1st, 2007 at 7:54 pm
10
Pappy says:
Well, at least we won’t have to hear that UM deserved the “title” shot anymore.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:11 pm
11
Mike says:
Sure, the Nittany Lion costume is simple, just like Penn State’s uniforms. But trust me — in person, the Lion is the one of the most entertaining mascots in the land. And by comparison, other mascots are frightening (Ohio State) or nonexistent (Michigan).
Good luck to the Gators in the big game next week.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:26 pm
12
Jim Tressel says:
Nick Saban should open up franchise rights and head coach the Phins, the Arizona Cardinals, the Falcons, Alabama, and Michigan next year.
January 1st, 2007 at 8:36 pm
13
BB says:
Kirk and Brent want you bloggers to knock it off bein’ so hard on poor old Lloyd Carr. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not losing that’s making people hate him, it’s you blogging bastards. Damn kids and your computers….
January 1st, 2007 at 9:07 pm
14
Meg says:
is it just me or was today one of the most boring days of college football in a long time. I fell asleep in three different games.
January 1st, 2007 at 10:25 pm
15
Jim Tressel says:
I’m really glad the Fiesta Bowl gave all the Ohio State players tickets to this game.
Don’t let anyone sneak up on you.
January 1st, 2007 at 10:31 pm
16
Kidproquo says:
Hey Michigan:
I have two words for you- SHUT THE FUCK UP!
January 1st, 2007 at 10:33 pm
17
GoBucks says:
The good news: There’s no question Florida rightly deserves to be in the national championship.
The bad news: Florida is still going to get smoked by Troy Smith and Co. Enjoy the buildup fellas, the game will be over by halftime.
January 1st, 2007 at 10:54 pm
18
PAK says:
Okalhoma is continuing the theme of “FOOTBALL W/O QB = GOOD(NOT)”. Paul Thompson is fucking horrible.
January 1st, 2007 at 11:12 pm
19
AUAlum says:
I think Paul Thompson went out to the desert and took a dump on an old Indian burial ground; that’s the only way to explain his play tonight.
January 1st, 2007 at 11:26 pm
20
Dinknflicka says:
Today, I learned that Charles Davis is a solid bet to replace Spencer Tillman as the whitest black man in America.
January 1st, 2007 at 11:29 pm
21
Doug says:
If the Fiesta Bowl ever opens up a room in its Hall of Fame for Worst Fucking Passes In Fiesta Bowl History, Paul Thompson’s gonna be in there twice. The pick-six he threw was ugly, but the across-the-body, off-the-wrong-foot INT before that was worthy of a Chuck-Heston-in-Soylent-Green “NOOOOOOO!!!” even before it left his hand.
January 1st, 2007 at 11:56 pm
22
PAK says:
I think I just got a chubby watching Boise State hit a hook and ladder for a TD on 4th-and-18.
January 2nd, 2007 at 12:39 am
23
baconboy says:
the hook and lateral only topped by the statue of liberty play to win the game. What a fun game to watch! Not quite as good as last year’s Rose Bowl, but what drama at the end!
January 2nd, 2007 at 12:57 am