COWS IN WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR: DESPERATE TIMES AT THE TEXAS BOWL

by Orson on Dec 28, 2006 4:45 PM EST

Rutgers ended the season badly by dropping two (TWO!?!) games, sinking to a miserable 10-2 previously unheard of at Rutgers--unheard of because they haven't gone 10-2 or anything close since 1976, when they were rolling over the Colgates of this world on they way to an 11-0 record of dubious merit.

The Texas Bowl won't shine the beltbuckle of too many Rutgers fans on its own merits. While other teams rip down Lowe's Motor Speedway at 180 mph or even go "south of the border" (WOO!!! Donkey show for you, student-athlete!), the boys from Rutgers are in Houston throwing shit around and dressing up cows in underwear. Literally.

Players from Rutgers gamely participated in the rodeo bowl, a competition involving roping, dung-tossing and dressing cattle in women’s underwear.

At Kansas State, this constitutes dating. Wocka-wocka! ZING! ZOWEE!!! Our favorite quote from the whole article, though, comes late in the piece:

Off to one side, a rodeo instructor named Dick Hudgins tried to improve the accuracy of Mike Teel, the starting quarterback for Rutgers. When Teel made an errant toss with his lasso, Hudgins asked him, "You’re not a quarterback, are you?" Teel did not respond.

Sign that man to a scouting contract--now.

No cowboy: Mike Teel, bad with a lasso.

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Players from Rutgers gamely participated in the rodeo bowl, a competition involving roping, dung-tossing and dressing cattle in women’s underwear.

Cow chips. They’re called cow chips.

by j.j. on Dec 28, 2006 5:15 PM EST reply actions

“I don’t get it? What’s the big deal? It’s just cows in bras and panties. What else WOULD you want to do at a bowl game?” asks the Mississippi State fan, bewildered and aroused.

by RaginCajunRebel on Dec 28, 2006 5:17 PM EST reply actions

Yep, they forgot the bovine-sized lipsticks. If those Jersey boys had seen that, they would have sworn off beef forever.

by Southern Papa on Dec 28, 2006 6:15 PM EST reply actions

No, most State fans aren’t interested in pre-game festivities involving cows that don’t also include castration.

by jakldawg on Dec 28, 2006 7:50 PM EST reply actions

State University of New Jersey – 37
Kansas State University – 10

I think I see a pig flying past my window.

by Wooderson on Dec 29, 2006 8:07 AM EST reply actions

If the Scarlet Knights didn’t win last night, rumors were swirling around the Governor Jon Corzine would order the State Police to secure the borders and not let the team back in because no real New Jerseyan would be caught dead wearing a cowboy hat and playing with cow poop. If my home state ever hosts a bowl game, perhaps we can outfit visiting teams in matching Gucci sweatsuits and gold chains. I know that this would make Jim Tressel jealous, but we can let the players race around the New Jersey Turnpike at 160 mph in a blinged-out Escalade, since that is the normal speed limit anyway on the highway.

by The Contrarian on Dec 29, 2006 9:56 AM EST reply actions