First, we would like to thank Subcommandante Wayne for dropping by. He will be unable to fulfill his duties due to a sudden, unscheduled road trip to Las Vegas he insisted on taking. His mother, carless with Wayne gone, is sure to be unhappy about this. Wayne was last seen tearing ass on I-21 with a box of Magnum condoms and a case of Busch Light in the front seat.

The Subcommandante’s whereabouts reported, we begin the roundup of the finest bloggery around: BLOGTOBERFEST.

–Top billing to SMQ, whose smart juice ne’er runs dry. Read him for an actually substantive review of tonight’s Las Vegas Bowl. Why his server doesn’t melt with readers is a sad testament to humanity’s talent for ignoring talent. Time nips him a link via Andrew Sullivan’s blog, which means gay conservatives will suddenly acquire a taste for college football beyond the current rabidly interested level.


Read this man’s blog. It is awesome. Not reading it is a moral and spiritual failure on your part, and you should be very ashamed for it.

This will surely mean more business for..

–Boi From Troy, who reportsthat USC’s Garrett Green is running the scout team offense at quarterback and doubling up at safety. He’s the Sanjay Gupta of the Trojans, but tall and not overcompensating. He’s also going both ways. Just saying.

–Cool Hand’s got the next Real Men of Genius commercial.

–Marcus Thomas attempts to further rub off some of his belovedness in an often contradictory, obviously pained interview with the Orlando Sentinel. Ze quote:

At lunch with a group on Monday, Thomas recalled how his conversations with Meyer used to go.

“He’d say, ‘I’m going to destroy you to the [pro] scouts,’ ” Thomas told the table.

“How often would he give you that?” Thomas’ agent, Rich Burnoski, asked.

“All the time,” Thomas said. “On a regular basis.”

Meyer saying this does not seem beyond expectation, mostly because we believe football coaches of all colors and breeds would do and say next to anything to motivate and intimidate players, up to and including fighting them with glass strapped to the players hands, kidnapping family members, and making them High School Musical until they confessed to shooting Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

–The article also reports that it was not a second marijuana positive scuttling Thomas’ last chance at Florida, but a positive test for GHB, the “date-rape drug” also known as Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate also known for alleged anabolic steroid-like effects. One eye-popping nugget nestled deep in the article follows:

But UF sources, speaking on the condition of anonymity because federal law prevents the release of specific information about students, say Thomas failed another drug test during the season — this one for Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate, or GHB — and that his dismissal was permanent.

So against federal law, sure, but by the way, dude was totally GHBed up.

Is this overkill leaking by an administration jutjawed and ready to fight even the slightest challenge to its authoritay? The agent’s surely prompting Thomas to address the media and clear up the issues depressing his market value in the draft–note his prompting, unusually helpful role in the mock-interview–but information protected by federal law and leaked to “sources” does not constitute a proper or ethical response to an agent gambit.

–Haka wars! The Las Vegas Bowl gets a non-whore related storyline as Oregon and BYU get slapfighttish over proper use of the Haka, the traditional Maori war dance BYU has performed pregame during the Bronco Mendenhall era. Organic irony alert: a Maori dance adopted by a Mormon university’s football team causes controversy in a bowl game in Las Vegas. Thomas Friedman, the world IS flat!!!

–Bonus Ohio coverage: Sometimes, Frosty gotta die, too.

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