MSU RECRUIT COULD SIGN LETTER FROM JAIL.

by Orson on Dec 20, 2006 10:25 AM EST

This isn't Fulmer Cup points-eligible (the season hasn't ended yet), but Hello Dolly is it something. Mississippi State juco recruit Jessie Bowman, defensive tackle, was charged with trespassing and simple assault relating to an incident in July. Bowman originally had the ugly prospect of a felony burglary charge on his record, but you know, the judge had just gotten out of yoga class, and the birds were singing, and everything just seemed, you know, ripe for positive energy, man. Bowman got that charge knocked down to trespassing.

Bowman spends this week in jail, serving a five day sentence in exchange for a plea. He will want to use his time wisely and research new legal representation in the meantime. His soon-to-be-former attorney works his PR magic; it's so good it'll melt your face off.

It's unclear when and where Bowman, who gave a non-binding, oral commitment to MSU coaches last Thursday, would sign his letter of intent. Today is the first day junior college players can sign binding scholarship papers.

"He may just sign it in the jail right now, I don't know," Bowman's attorney, Joe Fernald, said. "He doesn't have to be anywhere (specific) to sign it."

Jessie, we know a guy who's a friggin' legal genius. He works cheap, too, provided you know a trannie or two. (HT: Rebel84.)

Total genius: Jessie, you need Barry Zuckercorn.

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I hope I can read about it on Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog

by Rabid Badger on Dec 20, 2006 10:35 AM EST reply actions

Could somebody please explain ‘simple assault’?
Is there a ‘complicated assault’ charge?

by GamecockTony on Dec 20, 2006 10:39 AM EST reply actions

Gamecock Tony: I think “Complicated Assault” usually involves swinging crutches.

by RaginCajunRebel on Dec 20, 2006 10:46 AM EST reply actions

God I miss that show.

by Andy on Dec 20, 2006 10:48 AM EST reply actions

Simple assault is usually a threat or an attack without a weapon. Could be pushing or shoving or fisticuffs—all depends on the law of the state. Probably a misdemeanor.

A complicated assault would be like using a tiger to attack someone, what with all the training involved and making sure the tiger doesn’t attack you instead. This is something only the Orgeron has the patience to do.

by jbob on Dec 20, 2006 10:52 AM EST reply actions

Technically, 57-ish teams’ seasons are already over so they should be available for Fulmer Cup points.

by Geaux Irish on Dec 20, 2006 10:57 AM EST reply actions

I think Complicated Assault requires the added “Rube Goldberg” element.

by AllWhoYonder on Dec 20, 2006 11:01 AM EST reply actions

A complicated assault is an assault committed while lying on your back…..

by A Whore In Church on Dec 20, 2006 11:15 AM EST reply actions

Rabid…You, sir, are a mouthful!

by Gator Head Funnel on Dec 20, 2006 11:33 AM EST reply actions

But Jbob, does the Orgeron even need a tiger?

by Jim on Dec 20, 2006 12:16 PM EST reply actions

Joe Fernald, he’s very good.

by irishoutsider on Dec 20, 2006 12:29 PM EST reply actions

If it was Siegfried and The Orgeron, it would have been that damn white tiger in the hospital gumming him some Gerbers.

by Dave on Dec 20, 2006 12:29 PM EST reply actions

Is this a headline left over from Jackie Sherrill days ?

by BamaCPA on Dec 20, 2006 12:52 PM EST reply actions

c’mon Orson—-the season has been over for Mississippi State since right before kickoff against South Carolina—its always Fulmer Cup season in Starkville!

by Chris on Dec 20, 2006 1:15 PM EST reply actions

Meanwhile, Willie Williams looks on approvingly.

by Rob on Dec 20, 2006 1:49 PM EST reply actions

He was smiling… That’s right. You know, that, that Jessie smile of his. He had it on his face right to the very end. Hell, if they didn’t know it ‘fore, they could tell right then that they were a-gonna sign him. That old Jessie smile. Oh, Jessie. He was some boy. Hell, he’s a natural-born world-shaker.

by RandomSlowGuy on Dec 20, 2006 2:00 PM EST reply actions

Yeah Orson, if bowl games count towards the employment of coaches, Fulmer Cup points should be awarded once the regular season ends and allow teams to rack up big points on their bowl trip excursions, and with bonus points awarded for days in jail. The tough call for the rules committee though is that he’s not actually on the roster yet.

I think simple assault is a dotted eye, aggravated assault is a hospital job.

by Mark on Dec 20, 2006 3:11 PM EST reply actions

If it was Siegfried and The Orgeron, it would have been that damn white tiger in the hospital gumming him some Gerbers.

The Orgeron would have made a new Hummer commercial – now available with tigerskin seat covers. For an extra $5k, now available with a Siegfried and Roy matching set of seat covers .

by DC Trojan on Dec 20, 2006 3:14 PM EST reply actions

Exactly DC, the The Orgeron would have walked away and said, “Ok, where’s the woman that’s never been tamed?”

by Jim on Dec 20, 2006 4:00 PM EST reply actions

This is like that scene in Major League where Rick Vaugh is called up to the big show … while incarcerated.

Willie Mays Hayes: What the hell league you been playing in?
Rick Vaughn: California Penal…

by DHC on Dec 20, 2006 4:34 PM EST reply actions

Jim, I think the Orgeron’s line goes “Where’s that woman with a toothache?”

by Nate on Dec 20, 2006 4:59 PM EST reply actions

This was clearly more of a job for Lionel Hutz anyways. Not that anyone cares at this point, but the “put me on suicide watch” jailhouse signing won’t happen.
http://mississippistate.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=621688
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some vodka to finish before it goes bad.

by jakldawg on Dec 20, 2006 8:43 PM EST reply actions