WHAT YOU MISSED WHILE HAVING A LIFE

Damn, I thought the video would be porn – Just what I need at 8:15 am. “The man who put love in your eye” = money shot

Re your UAB coaching item: That’s more than a “conspiracy theory,” it’s . . . well, it’s pretty much precisely what happened.

Actually, App State won 28-17. They have a pretty nice situation, with a good head coach who is too old to be a candidate for most D-I bowl subdivision jobs.

Some Penn State fans lack, shall we say, perspective…many of whom have never set foot neither in a college classroom nor on a football field.

Way to make the rest of us look good, gang! Ugh…

I worked as an EMT in Beaver Stadium for years- I’ll never forget the year when Mike McQueary was our quarterback and I was working on an elderly woman in the stands who (as we say in the industry) was goin down the crapper. A woman sitting behind the medics working began screaming at us to “Sit down” and that we “Didn’t pay for our tickets, I did!!”

I mean it was only McQueary- he’s only going to grow up to have the illustrious job of “JoePa’s handler”.

But like M-Rob said- Ya gotta take the good with the bad.

Or maybe thats why the state changed the grammatically challenged “You’ve Got a Friend in Pennsylvania” liscense plates.

My sister was at Umass that night…her friend called her dad to tell him they won…presumed due to the rioting. Apparently, as with all Umass riots, it degenerated into a Yankees Suck! yellfest.

Here’s a tidbit: The Luther Ingram vid is from the theatrical release of the WattStax concert film, but he wasn’t on the bill.

What happened is that in the interim between the concert and the release of the film “If Loving You Is Wrong” went to #1, so Stax execs filmed Ingram on a sound stage and spliced him into the final cut of the film.

If you want to see something really awesome, find the Rance Allen track from that concert and fear the booty shaking that follows.

“Apparently, as with all Umass riots, it degenerated into a Yankees Suck! yellfest.”

As a Southerner and a History major, can I take ironic joy in the fact that citizens of Mass. are yelling that Yankees suck?

To add some Florida relevance, Happy Appy State’s in-state rivalry game is Western Carolina, who Florida so gleefully pounded this year between bouts of boredom.

I thought it was the UGA offensive coordinator

Yep, that ’Yankees Suck" thing from Northerners does have a nice ring to it.

Congrats to the Mountaineers. Hope they can get a matchup with Free Shoes University to get revenge for the sucker punch they got in “The Longest Yard – the Adam Sandler Remake”.

Now – the real question fro the Umass riots of 2006 – did they ignite any couches?

There were riots at UMass following the title game? That is a great sign for football in these parts. When UMass won the 1-AA title back in 1998 or ‘99 (can’t remember which year—but the Minutemen upset Georgia Southern to win it), I remember posting a congratulatory message on a UMass message board. (Yes, there is—or was—such a thing.) My post was met with general indifference and some bland drivel about basketball. A football riot at a state U in the Northeast can mean nothing but progress.

Only people in the South think of Northerners as “Yankees.” (Of course, that’s what I called them growing up in Texas, too.) In fact, folks here are always baffled to hear that the word “Yankee” exists somewhere outside the context of the baseball team. And, of course, to Brits/Aussies/New Zealanders, etc., we’re all Yanks…

one theory on Jimbo Fisher not coming to UAB is Paul Jr. is waiting for Saban to come to Bama and bring Jimbo in as OC. Obviously, that wouldn’t be possible if he became the HC at UAB.

UMass to West Virginia, Michigan State and Maryland:

“I learned it from watching you!!”

Ambrose Bierce’s definition:
YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown. (See DAMYANK.)

Bierce was a fine gentleman.

Nah. ZooMass was rioting when rioting wasn’t cool. Just not over football games.

Boston Frog,

Living in Texas for the past few years, and working with a bunch of Scots, Aussies, Norwegians, et al, they learn very quickly to not refer to all of us as “Yanks”, just like we don’t call the Scotsmen ’Brits" .

Papa, I had to teach ’em the same lesson when I lived in Europe. Its an honest mistake on their part—but not an acceptable one…

Wow, a WattStax reference! I’ve definitely been away too long.

It was weird watching that D-III game. I’ve always wondered what college football would look like without black guys scholarships.

Uhh, “black guys” was supposed to be crossed out.

“Afro-Americans” – Fisher DeBerry

What happened at UAB ain’t no conspiriacy theory. Bear, Jr. is not only content with sending bammer down the toilet, but he wants to take UAB with them. BTW, Jimbo is now the #1 candidate to take over as OC for free shoes u.

Right. There are two kinds of Americans: Texans and Not Texans.

Yes, we would like as little to do with that state as possible. Heck, maybe we should give it back to Mexico after all.

But if you give Texas back to Mexico, where will Oklahoma get its best players?

Whoops. I was aiming for your hair.

OK, following the threadjackery, especially with props to Boston Frog, I have found the proper way to tell a northerner from a Southerner, even Texans can fit here. Of course, I scored 100%.

http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/yankeetest.html

79 percent Dixie. Too many years spent in New York and Boston, but still not bad.

Ah, Texas….

As a relatively new Texan, I initially found some of the quirks of my new home a little odd.

1) On billboards, T-shirts, radio commercials, and bumber stickers, I was constantly being instructed not to do something that had never even occured to me to attempt: “Don’t Mess With Texas”

2) During my first visit to San Antonio, I was touring the Riverwalk when I realized that I just had walked by the Alamo without even noticing it. I expected the site of the famous seige to be some sort of shrine/museum; instead it is dwarfed by the surrounding mall. I’m not even sure how they could give a tour of it anymore…“After Santa Anna’s army was victorious, they crossed the Riverwalk’s terrace and partied at Hooters…”

3) In every major city in America, the most frequently done plastic surgery is rhinoplasty (nose). That is, in every major city in America except Dallas; I’m sure you can guess what the most popular procedure is here…

However, the state has grown on me. The laid-back atmosphere, the abundance of top-notch steak places (I will never never never eat at an Outback again…), the slew of attractive women wherever I go (fellas, go to a country music concert in Texas – you will get whiplash from your neck whipping around at all the scantily-clad eye candy…), the lack of state income tax, and now, my Texas-born-and-raised fiance, have got me in the Lone Star state for good.

Still won’t root for the ‘Horns or Aggies, though. Whereas the UT folks are, by and large, a very pleasant bunch, said fiance went to TAMU, so to even pull for them against, say, Al Queda would land me on the couch for a week. However, not even said fiance really cares about the Aggies’ fortunes (she’s gone from thinking that an illegal procedure penalty was ‘traveling’ to being a Zbikowski-lovin’ ND fan), so I’m off the hook there. My experiences with other Aggies has been, um, ….. somewhat negative…..

Geronimo -

Welcome to our fair ‘burb. Yes, the wax museum across the street does cheapen the Alamo quite a bit. I’m sure it’s a Yankee’s fault.

If you need to adopt a team, go with Baylor. They’re lovable losers that will never get your expectations. Plus, the Bears have a lot of hot chicks that don’t put out, so your wife will approve. As my Baylor-grad father lamented to me once, “NIT, Baylor girls don’t.”

And that’s how I ended up in Florida.

Geronimo -

Welcome to our fair ‘burb. Yes, the wax museum across the street does cheapen the Alamo quite a bit. I’m sure it’s a Yankee’s fault.

If you need to adopt a team, go with Baylor. They’re lovable losers that will never get your expectations up. Plus, the Bears have a lot of hot chicks that don’t put out, so your wife will approve. As my Baylor-grad father lamented to me once, “NIT, Baylor girls don’t.”

And that’s how I ended up in Florida.

Or more accurately…how you ended up at Florida State.

NIT, thank you.

I’ll now refer my son to this thread, as he is looking at college choices. Baylor was on the list, out of deference to his mother. Now, after an independent confirmation of facts by you, he will stay way the hell away from Waco.

ZZ, hot chicks with low standards and a nice scholarship were all I needed.

Baylor’s a very good school that I grew up around, so I have a soft spot for it, but God, 18 years in Waco was more than enough. It causes Baptist Madness.

Nothing sums up half-ass-u like the phrase “hot chicks with low standards”…lol.

Geronimo, you need to check out TCU football in Fort Worth. Tickets are cheap and fairly plentiful, and the atmosphere is fun and friendly (if not exactly what you’d be used to as a fan of a larger program). We’re the perennial underdog, working from outside the BCS conferences and constantly trying to prove ourselves. We’ve become a consistent top-25/bowl team. We have a winning record vs. teams from BCS conferences since 1998 and are 4-0 vs. the Big 12 over the last two seasons (and 6-6 since the SWC broke up).

Granted, you might not get the lineup of opponents coming through that you’d get at Baylor, BUT… 1) unlike Baylor, not only do we have a chance to win, we usually do at home (we’re something like 34-5 at home since 2000), 2) Fort Worth is immensely more fun and less disgusting than Waco, 3) TCU girls are way hotter than Baylor girls (and they, uh, “do”), and 4) frankly, we NEED THE FAN SUPPORT. Baylor gets its attendance numbers jacked up by visits from A&M, UT, Tech, etc., but we have to rely on the faithful and interested locals to make up the numbers. Seriously, check it out…please…don’t make me beg…

Actually, I do root for Baylor a little bit, partly out of pity and partly due to the fact that while my parents were stationed with the army in Texas in the 1950’s, my mom rooted for Baylor.

The thing that I find unappealing about Baylor football is not the product on the field, but the ‘tradition’ of both guys and gals getting dressed to the nines for football games. I can think of few less-pleasant experiences than standing in a starched, collared shirt and itchy slacks in 8,000 degree heat. Well, that and losing to Army, I suppose….

Well, at least our low standard girls are hot, unlike our friends to the southeast that are straddled between “meh” and “afflicted with the Crazy Eye.” :)

Actually, Emory ranks high with me personally as far as quality, intelligent females in the South.

Rooting for Tech would be very yarrr!

Boston Frog -

Sorry, I hadn’t seen your post when I wrote my last one…

As to your points…

1) Yup, they’ve done pretty well, but hardly a peep about the Horned Frogs is heard over here in Dallas. However, if I were to subject said fiance to an additional 3-4 hours of football after the 3-4 hours we spend watching ND, I’m rather certain I would have to make up for it with an obscene amount of house chores during every future fall from now on….

2) Absolutely. Downtown Fort Worth is terrific. I haven’t made it there but a couple of times, as it takes over an hour to get there.

3) Hot college girls who put out would have been an appealing feature to me about 10 years ago. As for the eye candy opportunity, I should add to my country music concert appraisal above: “…whiplash (or induce titanic-sized spasms in your neck muscles from preventing your neck from snapping around, as to avoid getting said fiance more ornery than a sackful of cobras)…”

4) Please, don’t beg. I’ll try to make it over there some time, maybe as a “guys” thing, thereby eliminating the problems outlined in 1) and 3)….

Take care….

TCU wouldn’t be a bad pick….at least they win, so there’s reflected glory to bask in. Plus, they had Jim Wacker, my favorite SWC coach, evah! Was there during the glory days of SWC cheatin’ glory, with players being paid at a local pizza place – literally under the table – and he turned himself in. I can’t tell you how inexplicable that was for that era.

Geronimo, I understand the fiance/housework scenario very well. Anyway, Fort Worth will always be there. If you’re in Dallas and have absolutely nothing better to do (and I mean NOTHING…AT ALL), you could always sit with 2000 fans at an SMU game. But a good high school game would be more exciting—and probably played at a higher level.

Have fun wherever you end up…

NIT, Jim Wacker was a good man. He tried to do the right thing and got burned for it.

79 percent Dixie. Too many years spent in New York and Boston, but still not bad.

I was 34% Dixie and frankly I was surprised it was that high… and I maintain that the word “grinder” for “hoagie” is a Rhode Island-only word, despite what that test claims.

94% Dixie, which is odd considering my I haven’t lived in the South (Jax, FL counting as South) in 12 years, and have spent 5 of the last 8 in Asia. Combining that with my ND education and complete (I thought) lack of a Southern accent, and I figured I’d be under 50%. Hmm…

Anthony Kiedis never wrote a song about Baptist school girls. For all the times people say ND girls are ugly, I’d much rather go there than a Baptist school.

97%. I can’t remember which one I got wrong.

Who wouldn’t want to be introduced as “the man who put love in your eye”?!?

You try to get hot girl cred from that cocksucking douche Anthony Kiedis?
I swear I am not convinced that everyone at Notre Dame isn’t half gay.

You never listened to the RHCP in the late 80s/early 90s? Still,
Catholic…school girls rule. Catholic school girls rule.

“….and then she unzipped her jumper.”

Please, dear God, let Air Force offer Barnett the job. They need another scandal, and Gary’s just the sky pilot to enable one.

Picture this: Gary Barnett as Alabama head coach, with Rick Neuheisel, and Hal Mumme on the staff.

The program would be like one, long episode of the Dukes of Hazzard, with the NCAA as Boss Hogg. They’d be a living, breathing NCAA violation waiting to happen.